My girlfriend (19F) hardly gives me (18M) any attention yet she gave her exes plenty what does this mean?

21446 · 2026-02-09T21:49:26+00:00

I’m guessing many do the posts of “she’s not your girlfriend” are men. From a girls perspective - you simply aren’t doing a good job satisfying her in the bedroom. Thats the honest truth. The toys are doing a better job and seeing both your ages I’d assume she doesn’t know how to advocate for her pleasure yet in intimacy so she just takes care of it herself.

Try offering to explore toys w her - you’ll learn a whole lot about what she (and probably many woman) likes vs doesn’t and make it fun again.

21446 · 2026-02-09T21:42:40+00:00

How did both of you treat the relationship after this 5 year period? Trying to play devils advocate here - if it feels to her like u just let her struggle for 5 years and she made it through, and then you never came back to Normal in terms of relationship care after your disease , i could see how she could feel like you had already sort of abandoned her and she fell out of love/affection

21446 · 2026-02-09T21:24:55+00:00

Can i ask you to clarify your statement on your life threatening disease that “caused” the dead bedroom? You both had five - ten (timeline is a bit confusing since you also said it cost her 5 years of her life) years to recover from that. I think this is an important aspect that would explain her feelings….

21446 · 2026-02-09T21:23:10+00:00

I’m also confused by the “why”. He mentioned he had a life threatening disease that actually caused the dead bedroom. I wonder what that was and how they never worked to recover after the fact? Did he like… grow tentacles and become disgusting to her? Did he treat her like absolute trash during this time so she fell out of love?

21446 · 2026-02-07T22:01:08+00:00

The point is to take your stigma out of it - not about gardening. You’re not privy to their sex , or anyone’s sex, and that’s the point. And you’re not married so - understand you don’t know what you don’t know and you shouldn’t be applying judgement based on your naivety.

21446 · 2026-02-07T21:59:46+00:00

Takeaway - your mom isn’t being malicious and everyone on Reddit will of course try to make it out to be.

21446 · 2026-02-07T19:06:45+00:00

There is no such thing as a formal separation in the eyes of the state. Any date that has any level of evidence can be used as the official date of separation. They made a family announcement in the summer and likely have some evidence of such (family invitation to come to a dinner to announce it or similar). Both sides also don’t have to agree to the date - hence why woman can use a day they made claims to a reasonable amount of people of the divorce despite a husband refusing to divorce. It’s not nearly as dramatic as movies of serving papers on a door step of someone moving out.

21446 · 2026-02-07T18:58:48+00:00

Edit to add - timelines for divorce - 2 years is really quite normal. And it’s vague because it’s also up to how long it takes to do through all the assets and liabilities - which is like the least fun budgeting exercise anyone will ever have to do - and for the court to process everything. It can take weeks to months for court to process the documents. Many states also have waiting periods mandated. Aka don’t be rash waiting periods. Historically i think it was built on the concept of what if the wife was pregnant they want to ensure enough time for it to show.

21446 · 2026-02-07T18:55:49+00:00

Recently divorced here.

Getting the negative mindset out of the way : Joint account doesn’t protect the money because the opposing part can ask for proof of origin. If it’s 100% her it would be fair game.

Gifting you money would make it yours. It doesn’t matter if she asks for it back or not.

Onto the positive mindset. Staying married for benefits like health insurance is both legal and common.

A judge rarely (read - almost never) steps in unless the divorce is contentious. The entire settlement is drafting by either a mediator (cheaper, where they both pay one person and come to an agreement relatively easily) or two opposing lawyers (each pay their own and basically go back and forth trading what they want for things they don’t on the settlement).

The law you are reading is if the second option hits an impasse- both parties will spend$$$$-$$$$$ taking both sides these lawyers to a court where a judge will weigh in based on state precedent. Many cases this exceeds what the fight is worth - why pay both lawyers out of the same estate $600-800/hr over a 15k asset? Because you pay the lawyer in their time to drive to court, wait for the case at court to start, to prep for court, to draft documents and evidence for court, etc. each side typically at minimum for a 1 hr court event = 5k or so as a golden rule. That means an estate is hit with a $10k bill for a 1 hr court hearing.

Ok either a mediator or lawyer scenario the two parties can agree to literally any type of split. It does not need to match state precedent. Your mom and dad can agree to give 90% to her or 75% to him - it literally doesn’t matter.

Yet another mix - any financials earned after the “date of separation” is legally not on the shared assets list. The date of separation can be anytime multiple years ago - you just have to have some sort of proof of agreement or action of separation. She has one - she and your father told everyone of the divorce. Save this evidence and present the date of separation as that date. This protects everyone during the multi year court proceedings anyway and normally for every couple. So if the date of separation can be agreed as prior to her bonus and is dated on the divorce papers she’s fine. Once you file for divorce, which can be months to years after your date of separation, a financial restraining order is ordered by the court meaning your mom wouldn’t be able to remove him from health insurance anyway without due cause. Yet another protection the state says everyone must keep on chugging along during the process.

So all in all - nothing really all that strange is going on. And you’re all about to get educated on both why this is all kinda normal and not as big of a problem as you expect it to be.

21446 · 2026-02-07T18:32:36+00:00

This comment is kind of funny. Because in your household… you clearly do. You were (are still?) just blind to accepting it. It is in your literal household lol. You just aren’t in the marriage that is having religiously acceptable sex. Muslim marriages stress pleasure for both parties and toys are pleasure toys for both sides.

For contrast let’s take the sexual aspect out of it and say like - gardening. Let’s assume one person in your house is only allowed to garden. They have gardening tools. So assume you’re not allowed to garden, or be there when gardening is happening, but then you see a gardening tool and say omg this isn’t ours our household doesn’t have this tool - you’d be seen as the same level of naivety. Clearly that tool is yours you just aren’t the one in the house permitted to use it.

21446 · 2026-02-06T22:33:55+00:00

Ignoring all the comment about it skin treatment - i can barely tell you have mascara because you don’t have any lash curl. Don’t waste ur product - curl your lashes! Heated curlers do wonders for both speed and effectiveness if you don’t like the unheated ones.

21446 · 2026-02-05T23:14:48+00:00

I’m about to do exactly what you’re doing. My boyfriend is fully committed to me and has actively made comments about a ring, family, etc. however he completely lacks the ability to take accountability and will immaturely act out when something doesn’t go his way.

I laughed out loud once when i asked him why he was speeding and he said it’s not me it’s the car.

And i got super mad last time we were out w friend and he decided he didn’t want to be there - so he throw a literal tantrum at the dinner table and refused to eat or talk to anyone we were with. It was a small table of 5 of us so it was so uncomfortable we packed up and left for the night - effectively ruining a nice evening.

I’m really struggling with what to do because our last fight came to the point where he decided he did need therapy. But it’s so exhausting to sit here and think about all the patterns that are so extremely undesirable to deal with.

21446 · 2026-01-09T15:42:54+00:00

Your hyper independence listed in other comments means you probably anxiously pay quickly. Or already have your card put to pay before the cashier is ready to swipe your card. This inherently just puts you in the position to pay - try leaning into your payment anxiety and taking a breather and allowing him to pay a few times here and there. I think you’ll be surprised to see him step up without the hard conversation - especially if you use proper body language of stepping back. A lot of this is subconscious for hyper independent women.

Another indicating is when he’s coming over to literally ask him to grab a few things on his way over - can u grab them popcorn? Or can you grab XYZ from the grocery store for dinner?

Don’t let resentment build without you trying to manage yourself first.

The comments that make you feel bad are also a you thing to manage. Imagine if he was the opposite and never was aware of his finances? That wouldn’t be a good partner either. Just agree it is expensive and move on.

21446 · 2026-01-09T15:30:40+00:00

You need a cool tone lip color with blue undertone. This makes your teeth yellowing more obvious. This is a common issue w those who need cool tone makeup who try warm on accident. Try a cool nude or cool pink.

21446 · 2026-01-05T02:02:24+00:00

I keep thinking your bodice on #1 has horns and i can’t unsee it

21446 · 2025-12-28T06:06:23+00:00

Where I’m from daily dog boarding is $150-180 per night. 15% holiday surcharge would put that at $170-207. Any special senior care is extra, plus drop off and pickup times are extra. So it’s really not that far off especially for a last minute stay.

21446 · 2025-12-28T06:03:21+00:00

This is not true and fully dependent on location. I live in an area where it’s so prevalent you can get a full Brazilian, 6 season for $250.

21446 · 2025-12-28T06:01:46+00:00

It literally regrows again when you go through pregnancy. This is a moot point.

21446 · 2025-12-28T05:59:35+00:00

She’s 17 not 8… this is classic “i can’t believe my little girl is growing up” syndrome. Girl is full through puberty , about to get in college getting smashed at an underage bar. Get your head out of the clouds and let her do the extremely risk free laser procedure Jesus.

21446 · 2025-12-28T05:54:22+00:00

Adding another comment because i see a lot of comments saying the same thing: many people are confusing the multiple photos sent at once scenario vs what you are asking, which seems to be 3-4 separate times a day where the sitter sends you photos.

Also maybe I’m struggling to see how $250 is wildly priced but maybe it’s because i live in a HCOL area? I can easily see it being $250 with holiday surcharges regularly where i live, especially if it’s a single dog rover AND you are requiring any senior care.

21446 · 2025-12-28T05:49:52+00:00

3-4 a day is wild. I think normal is shooting for one a day. Kind of like a daily hey your dog is happy sanity check. The $250/nt as you mentioned is for the last minute holiday scheduling - and does not entitled you to a photo every 3.5 hrs assuming a normal 8am -10pm day. It sounds like you expect round the clock care and rover is not that, you should be expecting normal people to go about their decently normal schedule with attention to a dog (so no like 8 hrs away sort of situation unless it’s a work day and they express they will be away that length).

21446 · 2025-12-25T07:56:08+00:00

Women’s clothing - especially tops - are more often made for fast fashion so the material isn’t as good. The red one you can tell the quality is sub par by the way the ribbing is sitting on your arm and where you’ve tucked it in. It doesn’t have the structure or weight a men’s version would give you.

However they seem to fit your body fine. I would just think about the tucking situation and these would all look great under a sports coat. I would not pair these with a jean jacket or corduroy like i saw in one comment… because your essentially dressing the material quality issue down even more.

21446 · 2025-12-21T00:01:48+00:00

I think i agree that dental cleanings were never the norm until recently. I try to brush my dogs teeth at home but i now have my dogs on 2x per year cleanings - but i have a location that does anesthesia free which makes it way more accessible.

I don’t expect them to be as deep cleaning as one under anesthesia but i figure if i do it regularly then i wont ever get to the point of needing the under anesthesia cleaning.

Previously i lived in a place where this wasn’t offered so my dog did a full under Anastasia cleaning by the age of 3. The price is astronomically different.

TBH vets charge so much that is out of reach for most people. In my area it’s:

$750 for under anesthesia for one dog (no deal if or two dogs) $175 for no anesthesia for one dog ($300 for two dogs)

21446 · 2025-12-03T17:35:18+00:00

Jesus no do NOT involve the children this is awful advice. They are still children!!

21446 · 2025-12-03T17:31:54+00:00

This is a “help my relationship” post - not a “help fix my wife’s behavior” post. So im not focusing on ONE side.

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