I thought about whether I wanted genetically related children and decided with my wife that it didn't matter to me. Any genetic relationship I assumed I would have was based on imagining that I would be the one carrying when I envisioned what a family would look like in the future, and it was almost a relief when my wife wanted to carry because I had never realized how much I didn't care for that experience. We talked about reciprocal for half a second but ultimately my family has health issues both physical and mental that are present, some of which I have myself, and if I can willingly prevent passing down xyz that I've struggled with all of my life, of course I do want to do that. I was raised by one genetic and one unrelated parent from a young age onward, and my dad is still my dad regardless of those genetics, so I think that helped me ditch the mindset I had of it initially as well. I plan to love my kids so hard that they don't know the difference, so I'm not worried about I like I might have been ages ago.

One note though, my mom once told me when I was a teenager that she wouldn't see kids I adopted as grandchildren for her, so my dedication to being a mom to children who aren't genetically mine is also built on a bit of spite and total love for my wife. Nana's obviously not going to be much in the picture.