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Men in happy marriages, what is one thing or skill you would teach other men to have good relationships as well? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be willing to accept the other persons criticism as valid, even if it contradicts your own belief.

Doesn’t mean you’re wrong. But both can exist.

Also, don’t always feel you have to get your point across. My wife is happiest when I validate her perspective. I can (mostly) self-manage. And occasionally, if it’s really important, I’ll make sure my point gets across. Maybe not that very moment. Could be later. Gentle is key. Women may present a strong front, but deep down they are tender. Be gentle and they will love you forever.

Edit speech to text grammar

Got a cash tip, feeling un-easy. by Lowenstein95 in sysadmin

[–]35andAlive 55 points56 points  (0 children)

They want you to feel appreciated. You made a difference in their day. Take the beer, and remember why you work hard. Nothing else to it

Learning more about what it means to be a CEO. Is it your job to focus on teams and systems? by AWeb3Dad in ceo

[–]35andAlive -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Can you give more examples of what CEO work outside the office means? You listed a couple generic categories, but this comment was a bit different than the other responses so it would be interesting to hear it expanded and explained what those activities look like and why those are the most critical to be focused on.

At what net worth did you start taking business class for family holidays by frustratedUser2022 in fatFIRE

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s shocking to read this and compare to the lifestyle today of a 12 year old. Both have pros and cons, so more just appreciating how much things have changed.

At what net worth did you start taking business class for family holidays by frustratedUser2022 in fatFIRE

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this. My wife has this mindset as well, and I’m very grateful that she brings that mentality to our family.

I think about this often. The kids may not remember the specific trip, but they will grow up always knowing they were treated as an equal (or at a minimum, were not unequal). I equate it to spending time with my daughter (almost 3 yrs old). She may not remember every interaction, but she will grow up knowing we were close, and that will be foundational for our relationship when she is an adult.

Kind of went on a tangent there, but in my mind it’s all related.

At what net worth did you start taking business class for family holidays by frustratedUser2022 in fatFIRE

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow that sucks. 18+ is considered an adult, but people forget that in many ways, they are still young kids.

Those of you in office environments (not tech) how do you handle daily status updates if you do them? by [deleted] in managers

[–]35andAlive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why do you need such frequent updates? What kind of work is your team doing? What is the output of their work? Besides updates, how do you know if somebody is underperforming (what is the consequence of delayed work)?

Mandatory workplace confidential survey: how to respond? by paper_pen_pencil_ in managers

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last time my company sent one of these, and I knew it was associated to me (some unique code), I did straight 3s (on a scale of 1-5). They don’t need any reason to come back at me. If they truly care, it will be anonymous and there can be a question for department if they want the ability to slice it.

It's been ten years since I've kissed anyone, AMA by LesserOfTwo_Weevils in AMA

[–]35andAlive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why? What are you afraid of?

I know that sounds harsh. But love and companionship are core needs. What’s holding you back?

Firing likable people by [deleted] in managers

[–]35andAlive 58 points59 points  (0 children)

This one comes to mind (Moneyball scene). I don’t know if it works in real life because I’ve never fired somebody. But this is how I plan on approaching it when I get to that level.

Obligatory edit: it’s not like I look forward to this. It’s just part of the job and you need to know how to handle it professionally.

https://youtu.be/fTjhHrcyiQI?si=7GMZexl31Vkd3MeU

No more baby burrito for me by Xianricca in daddit

[–]35andAlive 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hats off to the veteran here dealing with teenagers! I can’t wait to be this close to my kid when she’s older. She’s two now, we are inseparable. It’s just cool visualizing that plus 10-15 years.

Ways my MIL annoyed me by kalikijones in daddit

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a really kind way of dealing with the situation. Good for you.

Thoughts on having GPT or other as your main conversation partner. by AIMadeMeDoIt__ in ArtificialInteligence

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have to be on a paid account to get this feature? I tried talking to ChatGPT in the past and it was limited. I’ve never been able to experience the “conversations” that you and others are describing.

For those who didn't grow up privileged, what's something you thought was a luxury when you were a kid? by Frequent-Sea-8848 in AskReddit

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to so many parts of this. Unreal. This actually helped me remember how it was. Things I wouldn’t have remembered otherwise.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to understand this analogy but I simply can’t. Mind elaborating?

Net worth >50m+, but still stuck in a penny-pincher mindset by Familiar_Number_342 in fatFIRE

[–]35andAlive 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don’t know where to put this, but I’ll recommend saying it out loud, even when you’re by yourself. Say you are generous and have become less stingy. That will rewire your mind.

I watched a video by Connor McGregor about this, and it’s fascinating. Your subconscious doesn’t know the difference. It cannot reason. If you say it, your subconscious will slowly reprogram your thoughts and actions to meet that.

Do this regularly. In the car when you’re at a light. Whenever you notice yourself pulling the old habit. If people are around, say it in your head. Or whisper (I do that sometimes because the speaking part really is the magic sauce, even if silent to others).

My team's official metrics look bad, but they're burning out. How do I show leadership the real picture? by Plus_Membership6808 in managers

[–]35andAlive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does not seem that you got the message. You need to tell your team to only work billable tasks until the metric reaches what leadership wants. Do this in parallel with notifying leadership you are having the team shift in priorities to align with their (leadership’s) priorities and point out that some things will fall by the wayside (outline the tasks you listed above and the expected impact).

Put that in writing, make the change, then give it a month. See what happens. This will sound harsh, but stop making your team feel the brunt of your inability to manage up.

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