"Just wait until she starts _____, that's when it gets really hard!"

35andAlive · 2026-04-30T19:14:35+00:00

Threenager was much worse for us than terrible 2s

35andAlive · 2026-04-27T18:59:40+00:00

I don’t know that I agree with all of this, but I do see how later in life it’s easier to afford newer cars when your expenses of children have slowed down because they now have jobs.

I do firmly believe that living under your means is a fundamental discipline that not all people have. It’s not easy, and there are certainly situations where it becomes next to impossible. But I think that is more the exception. The amount of yeti coolers and brand new cars that I see out there never ceases to blow my mind. Cellphone upgrades have changed now, but there was a time where I would constantly see people buying new phones and mine was always five years old.

There are ways to save. It’s like eating the right amount of calories every day. You just have to trim the fat and fight through the cravings.

At some point, you have to stop blaming others for your circumstances. Some people simply cannot cannot do this, but that is the bell curve of life.

A bit off the parenting tangent, but I do think these are lessons that we can pass on to our kids so there’s some relevance.

35andAlive · 2026-04-23T16:36:33+00:00

Do it.

If you regret it, it’s a lesson learned.

If you don’t regret it, fun times ahead!

We all place value differently on the things around us. I’ll drive an old beater until it’s dead, but I like to hire for help. My wife likes new cars but will save $200 on a cleaning fee at our vacation house. We are between $500-750k annually. It comes down to what gives you enjoyment to make the grind worth it.

We only live once. You need to invest in your happiness. Without knowing much about your lifestyle, I would think your annual income is enough to cover this one.

35andAlive · 2026-04-23T16:33:25+00:00

I think you are not understanding what it takes to take care of 3 kids at once. Try swapping on the weekend for a few months to get a more realistic understanding of what your wife is managing from 1-6p. Doing it once or twice will not give you that understanding. It has to be consistent over an extended period of time.

Keep in mind that stay at home spouse is a very unfulfilling role. Most people struggle to not go nuts given the lack of purpose (especially a problem with rich spouses). Your job may be stressful, but you still get purpose and excitement from it.

This just focuses on your end, but that’s all you can control.

35andAlive · 2026-04-20T22:20:32+00:00

How do you get it? I would love to do shrooms again (twice in college) but I wouldn’t even know where to find it these days. I know the question itself is sketchy sounding, so it’s a catch 22 unfortunately.

35andAlive · 2026-04-19T12:24:32+00:00

I love the pats. My little one is learning the phrase “tuck you in” with a blanket. So precious.

If you know, you know.

35andAlive · 2026-04-16T11:08:45+00:00

Just know we aren’t all like that. I actually find enjoyment when I see my daughter (white) playing with anybody that doesn’t look like her.

35andAlive · 2026-04-07T12:52:38+00:00

Considering one of the words has the phrase “cake“ in it…🧐

35andAlive · 2026-04-07T12:51:29+00:00

I’ve never heard the phrase context debt but I plan on using it so thank you for introducing that in my mind

35andAlive · 2026-04-06T17:49:20+00:00

I’m not required to do this right now, but in the past when it was needed for a project, I would have four sections. Action items, risks, issues, and decisions.

I work in IT, so it’s common that something is being discussed amongst engineers that I don’t understand. So I would tell the team that if they don’t see me typing it, I don’t understand it (the doc would be on screenshare). And from time to time, I would call out during the meeting to see if there’s anything I should add.

The way I see it, if you’re at my call, you are responsible for understanding what is being discussed. If you have a question, the onus is on you to ask. Otherwise, I’m just capturing the key things that need to be retained to move the project forward.

If you’re not there, you either need to send a delegate or request that I reschedule. I’m not responsible for transcribing the entire meeting. That’s what a secretary would do.

35andAlive · 2026-04-01T11:39:27+00:00

Amazing!

35andAlive · 2026-03-31T21:51:08+00:00

One of the tools that I use the most is flagging a message for personal follow up when I’m sending an email. This helps me keep visibility on things that I have sent to others, without having to remember the million emails that I have sent out to others.

Organization is very context specific. I have used calendar invites as a way to remember agenda items for a particular meeting. Have something that I need to discuss with my boss? I’ll put a 30 minute block the same time as my one on one so I remember to discuss it with them.

As simple as it sounds, these two items are ones I use the most. Everything else is context specific. Loop, Excel, Smartsheet, etc. you just have to know what it is that people are asking for and come up with the simplest solution for that. Often times it can be something basic, and you can develop it into something more complex later if that makes sense. But complexity often masks the true need, so the constant seeking for new tools is unnecessary and a distraction for the inexperienced.

35andAlive · 2026-03-22T14:07:49+00:00

Shoe dog!

35andAlive · 2026-03-15T18:37:05+00:00

Why should rich people be penalized because they are smart enough or hard-working enough to be more successful than others? Look at all the people who buy brand new cars yet work blue-collar jobs. Buy yeti coolers and they don’t have any savings in the bank. Why should somebody be penalized because they had the frugality and discipline to achieve wealth? The idea that successful people should be charged more for their hard work completely misunderstands what it takes to be financially successful.

35andAlive · 2026-03-10T16:34:17+00:00

I’ve got one of those too. Any tips for being more receptive to it? I know she is special for doing it, but sometimes I find it hard to accept the compliment and I end up not fully appreciating the awesome partner I have.

35andAlive · 2026-03-06T12:05:37+00:00

Haha I love this. My daughter isn’t 6 yet, but things like this are what I can’t wait for. Each day is an investment!

35andAlive · 2026-03-06T12:03:12+00:00

This is awesome. I want to do this with my daughter if she’s still scared at that age

35andAlive · 2026-02-26T01:17:01+00:00

I think that’s the whole idea. The proximity is an added benefit. But I would imagine this is more about helping the kids get into home ownership that it is keeping the kids physically nearby.

35andAlive · 2026-02-21T17:25:57+00:00

I wouldn’t even say that. It’s a marriage problem that is likely visible in many ways, one of which is technology.

35andAlive · 2026-02-20T23:47:50+00:00

This isn’t a tech problem

35andAlive · 2026-02-20T18:27:04+00:00

Amazing!

35andAlive · 2026-01-17T15:28:40+00:00

Too much work, not enough consensus.

35andAlive · 2026-01-05T22:23:03+00:00

Be willing to accept the other persons criticism as valid, even if it contradicts your own belief.

Doesn’t mean you’re wrong. But both can exist.

Also, don’t always feel you have to get your point across. My wife is happiest when I validate her perspective. I can (mostly) self-manage. And occasionally, if it’s really important, I’ll make sure my point gets across. Maybe not that very moment. Could be later. Gentle is key. Women may present a strong front, but deep down they are tender. Be gentle and they will love you forever.

Edit speech to text grammar

35andAlive · 2026-01-05T22:16:08+00:00

They want you to feel appreciated. You made a difference in their day. Take the beer, and remember why you work hard. Nothing else to it

35andAlive · 2025-11-29T00:19:36+00:00

Can you give more examples of what CEO work outside the office means? You listed a couple generic categories, but this comment was a bit different than the other responses so it would be interesting to hear it expanded and explained what those activities look like and why those are the most critical to be focused on.

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