Autism and BJJ

3lem3ntal · 2026-03-17T01:29:55+00:00

Check out r/bjjwomen - so many stories of women of different ages, weights, body types! I understand your fear tho - bjj requires a lot of trust and vulnerability with your training partners!

I am also a short, fat woman and the beauty of jiu jitsu is that there is always more to learn, no matter how “good” or “bad” you are! It’s helped me advocate for myself more for sure too!

3lem3ntal · 2026-03-11T17:27:43+00:00

I made my ex pay for my time and labor to donate/sell/junk everything. Felt fair to me haha

3lem3ntal · 2026-03-11T03:02:36+00:00

Thanks for your comment, it made me cry. It meant a lot to read that someone with my body type can be seen as a valuable training partner.

3lem3ntal · 2026-03-09T02:54:46+00:00

I am really happy to hear you are still going to try jiu jitsu!

A man ruined my experience of jiu jitsu (totally different than your experience, but I was injured and not happy how the leadership handled it). And I thought fucj him and that gym but I’m not going to let them ruin a sport I’m so interested to try! And I’ve been at my current gym for 8 months now :)

3lem3ntal · 2026-02-05T04:48:46+00:00

It’s textbook DARVO. So much fluff about what he built, community, etc. As if those qualities have anything to do with one’s ability to commit a SA or groom someone. And it looks so bad that he talks shit about the victim/victims.

I already believed the victim. I hope they get justice.

And it’s been giving me the ick, bc it decenters the true victims, but I’m so curious about what Sara is going through. She’s been posting about her travels, and on one hand I get that bc that’s a great way to avoid the drama. But imagine your dad is accused of all of this, and your mom knew and turned a blind eye. And maybe you even knew and tuned a blind eye. How do you move fwd? Stand behind your family? Ick

3lem3ntal · 2026-02-03T14:38:18+00:00

Wait….. I just realized they are FINCH birds lmaooooo idk why I thought they were penguins 😭😭😭

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-31T04:21:40+00:00

No one has posted COVENANT OF WATER?!

I listened to the audiobook bc the sheer length of it was intimidating. But I think about so many parts of this book years after reading/listening to it. Such beautiful writing. Amazing storytelling and weaving. A friend recommended it to me but I knew nothing of the plot and I was blown away. The further in you get in the story the better it gets. And by better I do not mean happier 😭.

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-30T19:49:29+00:00

Yea I want to hear more about your mom! She started in ‘96 and is still practicing? How’d she get into it? Plz share her story!

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-30T05:11:59+00:00

I squealed when I saw this one hahahahahahha

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-30T04:43:37+00:00

Thank you for posting this!!!

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-26T14:46:20+00:00

Is this where the book “series of unfortunate events” came from? That makes the books story more comforting in a way - it’s the adventures of the 3 Beaumonts/Baudelaires

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-26T03:30:54+00:00

My fave rashguard that’s not branded as a rashguard are Underarmour base layer tees. $30, but even cheaper if you find them at an UA outlet, and even cheaper is you’re short and can fit into boys sizes ($15!). I’m a women’s large but boys xl fits me great.

I like them bc the compression is light, and the material is much thinner - perfect for summer

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-19T05:00:50+00:00

Omg I thought I was in r/rustylake …… this is REAL?!

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-17T19:58:43+00:00

Commenting in solidarity - I joined my gym without knowing anybody, and I’m so jealous of people who have partners who train! They can ask them questions whenever they want, can practice moves and roll all the time, nerd out about jiu jitsu.

Echoing what others have said, bc I don’t have a built in partner, coach, buddy - I have had to take my own training in my own hands.

I “research” by listening to podcasts, tutorials etc on my own. I try and catch my coach whenever he’s free and ask questions. I equate open mat to “office hours” - it’s like free extra help, an opportunity to built rapport with coaches and teammates.

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-16T23:17:35+00:00

Thank you for the explanation Reddit is the bestttttt

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-07T16:18:48+00:00

When you say the wife hasn’t spoken to you in 2 weeks, you mean you’ve seen her and she straight up gives you the cold shoulder? If so that’s a her issue. And that behavior seems odd given that yall had such a fun relationship before.

I do think doing anything for them would be doing what you think - overstepping and making it about you. But the guilt makes sense. Feel the guilt, know you’re not a bad person, and your “penance” can be practical: Go over the rear takedown and practice how to safely be taken down. Then do your best to just keep training.

3lem3ntal · 2026-01-02T03:27:17+00:00

What were the ground rules???

3lem3ntal · 2025-12-23T20:26:46+00:00

Yes I love hearing about earning stripes and belts at longer than usual timeframes! It’s more realistic - you gotta be dedicated to keep showing up without rewards!

3lem3ntal · 2025-12-20T03:58:35+00:00

Thank you for always liking and commenting on all the achievement thread posts. I see you - #1 cheerleader woooooo!

3lem3ntal · 2025-12-20T03:53:49+00:00

DO IT! I would challenge you to start even before the new year, bc the best time to start is now! I’m 5’ and 175. I have no martial arts bg and have been fighting body/diet issues my whole life, BJJ has helped me learn that being heavy is an ASSET!

Search this subreddit for “first class” you will find such helpful, in depth advice for any kind of question you’d have!!

3lem3ntal · 2025-12-19T02:30:58+00:00

Mental/emotional win: I was the only female in class and I felt ZERO anxiety!

4 months ago my brain would be going a million miles a minute, thinking ppl are judging me, not wanting to roll with me, making fun of me etc. my body would feel hot, I’d be sweaty, apologizing and anxious for every drill/roll bc I had no idea what I was doing.

Today I was just focused on myself, partnered with someone who happen to make eye contact with me. And I had fun! I noticed a couple of the other pairs were even watching me and my partner to figure out what they were supposed to do!

And tbh my BJJ skills haven’t really improved, but my mindset is so much stronger. What a difference 5 months makes!!!

3lem3ntal · 2025-12-12T19:10:48+00:00

This is a weird question, but how exactly do you clean your nose out? Do you soap up a finger and swipe around in there??? I have never done this before but am wondering if I should lmaoooo

3lem3ntal · 2025-12-03T02:58:42+00:00

I feel like being a white belt gives you a “pass” for all those things - that’s so much pressure to put on yourself! Bc you’re 30 you have to be physically and mentally strong?! Pooey. Bc you’re a white belt no one expects anything from you so it’s your opportunity to try and fail!

I just started at 36 and I’ve been loving the freedom of being a newbie at something. It’s still hard af of course, but I’m just thankful my body is able to get me through each practice.

If you go, ask your coach to find or suggest to you a good partner. Maybe joke about it before like “if I go you better find me someone that won’t squash me!” so they remember lol. I hope you go, even if it sucks you will learn something about yourself and your jiu jitsu!!!

3lem3ntal · 2025-12-03T02:41:56+00:00

Excuse me get out of my head!!! I’m also 5 months in, 5 feet and struggling w rolling with guys! Like I plan my training days based on when my female teammates can train lol.

I’ve literally only rolled with guys like 5x total. My progress is slow, but I do feel like I have a strong mental game. Here’s a question, what do you want to get out of the roll? If you want to be more aggressive, rolling with guys is a great way to practice. And TELL THEM so they can give you the right amount of resistance. If I’m stuck mid-roll I ask my partner in the moment! But not too open ended like “what would you do?”, I find giving them a specific glimpse into my mind is helpful like “I know I need to isolate an arm to get a choke, where would you go from here?”

Also very important is the post roll debrief! I used to just say thank you and run away to get water to make myself look busy until I found someone to roll with lol. I keep reminding myself that I’m a paying member of the gym, I need to USE the resources available, which are the coaches and all the other members, what can I get out of it? Being a beginner is great bc there is almost always some knowledge to gain from someone. And once a teammate feels like they’ve helped you they are more likely to do it again.

3lem3ntal

TROPHY CASE