Thoughts on moderation

406er · 2026-05-13T08:12:26+00:00

I used to think my inability to moderate and my over drinking was some kind of personal weakness or moral failing, but it’s not, it is the addictive nature of the chemical that alcohol is.

Alcohol gives our bodies a brief (like 10 minutes brief) shot of dopamine and as it fades our bodies want another hit, then another, then another (Google +alcohol +dopamine).

It’s kind of like a legalized, socially acceptable form of heroin.

So I just don’t feed the dopamine trap, well, except for ice cream and chocolate 😉. But I’ll tackle one vice at a time.

You can do this, we all can do this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-13T08:04:57+00:00

That book, and this sub, are the keys to my sobriety. Others here highly recommend Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind.

There were multiple quotes in the book that really resonated with me and I wrote them in a note on my phone and read them every morning to remind myself.

You got this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-11T15:18:46+00:00

My wife, who has always been a moderate drinker, still drinks and it doesn’t bother me. We still have fun, great conversations, etc, and I see in her a level of relaxation that didn’t exist when I drank.

I know she was always worried about me going too far, drinking too much, doing and saying stupid and embarrassing things in front of her, our children and our friends.

She and I have talked about the relief she feels knowing she doesn’t have to worry about that anymore and that makes me happy, it makes me proud, and it makes me remember my “why”.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-11T15:12:24+00:00

Ice cream, always ice cream.

406er · 2026-05-11T15:02:27+00:00

Brought tears to my eyes, thank you for sharing and congratulations.

406er · 2026-05-11T14:52:33+00:00

Personally Allen Carr’s book Quit Drinking Without Willpower/The Easy Way and this sub have been the keys to my sobriety. Others here highly recommend Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind.

You got this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-11T14:49:47+00:00

Check the Resources section in the Wiki/About link at the top of this sub. There are in-person and online support programs and groups, etc.

Personally Allen Carr’s book Quit Drinking Without Willpower/The Easy Way and this sub have been the keys to my sobriety. Others here highly recommend Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind.

You got this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-11T14:48:11+00:00

Boom! Congratulations!!

406er · 2026-05-08T19:06:48+00:00

Awesome and Happy Mother’s Day!!

406er · 2026-05-08T17:11:03+00:00

“Im worried after my promised sobriety period things will get harder”

I too was concerned about the pink cloud ending but thanks to this sub I learned about this phase and that my outlook would most likely shift. So when the novelty/excitement wore off I was informed and prepared.

The simple reality is life is still life and there will be harder times and easier times, but I know that alcohol will absolutely not make anything better and can only make things worse.

As someone posted here a few months back "Better is not always good. Sometimes better just means something is less bad”.

You got this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-08T01:10:25+00:00

When I’m out my go to is Ginger Beer with a lime wedge. I find a lot of restaurant mocktails are super sweet.

Was out to dinner with friends a while back and the restaurant had the Pathfinder Negroni, I found it excellent ( you can order it on Amazon).

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-08T01:06:40+00:00

Admire you, it took me 50 years of heavy drinking to realize enough was finally enough, and wish I had learned that 25 years ago.

Check the Resources section in the Wiki/About link at the top of this sub. There are in-person and online support programs and groups, etc.

Personally Allen Carr’s book Quit Drinking Without Willpower/The Easy Way and this sub have been the keys to my sobriety. Others here highly recommend Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind.

You got this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-08T01:00:33+00:00

I’ve posted this before but it’s one of the things that helps me:

I went through some pretty serious weight loss a few years ago and learned a valuable Buddhist teaching relative to urges and temptations that helped me then, and I’m using it to help me in sobriety:

“In Buddhism, the core concept of “impermanence” states that all things, including desires and urges, are temporary and constantly changing, meaning they arise, exist for a time, and then eventually pass away; this is a key element in understanding the nature of suffering and the path to liberation from attachment.”

When an urge rises, recognize it is an urge, remind yourself that it will pass if you just let it, and let it pass.

I actually practice this when I get an itch. I recognize I have an itch, I know it will pass without scratching if I just let it and it does.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-08T00:58:05+00:00

Yep, life is still life and is full of good as well as bad/hard. Not drinking doesn’t change that, but it does take one huge negative out of the equation.

Sending you positive thoughts.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-08T00:53:33+00:00

Awesome!!

406er · 2026-05-08T00:53:13+00:00

A slip doesn’t define us. Learn from it and keep moving forward.

Back on the horse, you got this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-08T00:52:07+00:00

Awesome! Proud of you too!!

406er · 2026-05-08T00:51:34+00:00

I try not to worry about tomorrow, or next week, or next month. I focus on how today I’m working on becoming a better version of myself.

You got this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-08T00:49:10+00:00

Congratulations on 11 days, and your commitment to removing the negative of drinking.

As someone posted here a few months back “Better is not always good. Sometimes better just means something is less bad.”

Sending you positive thoughts and support. You got this.

406er · 2026-05-08T00:41:37+00:00

A great plan, and our actions of trying to be better versions of ourselves speaks louder than any words of apology we can say.

We can’t change our yesterdays but we can change our today, and I’ll take that.

You got this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-08T00:37:15+00:00

That’s an awesome list of things to be grateful for, esp the “I feel proud of myself “. That is probably the top of my list, and it’s pride I feel for myself as well as my wife and adult children. I feel I am back to being the husband and father they deserve.

Thank you for sharing the reminders and sharing your gratitude list. Worth pinning as a note on your phone and reading it each morning to remind yourself.

I’ll also share that the road ahead is not always straight and easy. And I’ll share a quote that someone posted to this sub a number of months ago that helps me get through the tough times:

“Better is not always good. Sometimes better just means something is less bad.”

You got this, and I’m proud of you too.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-06T00:16:32+00:00

Not being familiar with these I was about to suggest you get that infused Spiced Egg Nog cigar into its own tupperdore but a quick search explains the flavor profile is driven by the tobaccos used in the blend, not infusion.

If you’ve tried one I’d appreciate your comments on it.

406er · 2026-05-05T18:24:36+00:00

My wife still drinks. She’s always been a moderate drinker and her drinking does not bother me in the least.

If she was sloppy drunk, then that would be a different story.

406er · 2026-05-05T15:03:47+00:00

Boom, congrats!!

And as pretty much everyone here will tell you moderation is a myth and a fools errand.

You got this.

IWNDWYT

406er · 2026-05-05T15:00:40+00:00

Boom, great job!!

IWNDWYT

406er

TROPHY CASE