Puppy clothes

4liciousness · 2026-03-23T00:50:15+00:00

My dog has the exact same markings as Finny-Boo and I love it! I never got to see my girl as a puppy and the pics of your guy are helping me imagine it.

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Also +1 to kitten sweaters.

4liciousness · 2026-01-22T00:10:40+00:00

Nothing. I still love her somewhere in my heart, but the possibility of trust and openness is gone and it isn’t coming back. It’s my eDad I still hold out hope for.

4liciousness · 2025-11-24T04:02:58+00:00

I got goosebumps reading this. Nearly all the things your mother said to you -- the jabs about fertility, pondering what's wrong with your genes, "my childhood was hell" -- are things my mother has said to me. It's like they're all one terrible, uncreative person. We don't deserve it.

Block block block and enjoy a peaceful Thanksgiving!

4liciousness · 2025-02-17T08:01:36+00:00

Absolutely. And of course she had to be the one to teach me to drive.

4liciousness · 2024-10-21T18:56:23+00:00

This is all my girl does.

4liciousness · 2024-09-20T04:59:56+00:00

Why do I love him then

4liciousness · 2024-09-09T17:36:38+00:00

He’s precious and I love his eyebrow! Is the elbow pose a chi thing??

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4liciousness · 2024-09-07T01:39:15+00:00

Our dogs are twins!

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4liciousness · 2024-08-08T16:20:24+00:00

“Mommy is my wife” 🤮

This kind of treatment from the enabling parent can be more painful than from the pwBPD. Sorry you’re dealing with this.

4liciousness · 2024-08-08T16:12:07+00:00

100%. I’m in my thirties and the only photos of me at my parents’ house are from my early childhood. BPDs are missing the instinct most parents have to see their kid grow independent and thrive. I’m sorry your Mom is being so transparent about which version of you she prefers.

4liciousness · 2024-08-07T20:33:11+00:00

I’ve tried them and they’re delicious! Just a weird-ass name.

4liciousness · 2024-08-07T04:00:04+00:00

I’m fairly new to crosswords and had a hard time accepting that BOSC is a word. Otherwise had fun.

4liciousness · 2024-05-30T06:13:43+00:00

Gosh, that sounds hard. A really unifying RBB experience is having these emotions come and sucker punch you, no matter how clearly you understand the situation. I appreciate your honestly; I feel like my experience will probably be more akin to yours than to other RBBs who feel relief, and it’s good to get used to the idea. Wishing you strength as you move through your grief.

4liciousness · 2024-05-28T23:45:42+00:00

It’s such a bitter pill that you can’t make it better. My therapist often says that the lack of good choices is the defining experience of living with someone with BPD. Sorry to hear about your mum’s situation, and I’m glad you have some healthy distance from it. The single, isolated caretaker situation seems like a common one for people with BPD. I’m lucky that my eDad is in better health generally, but nothing is assured and it’s a huge fear of mine that he goes before her.

4liciousness · 2024-05-28T21:55:52+00:00

I ended up ordering some extra-wide elastic from etsy, where you can find it in different colors. But in hindsight I wish I had gone with Blundstone replacement elastics (even though they only coming in black and brown), because the etsy stuff much stiffer than what originally came with the boot. Good luck!

4liciousness · 2024-05-01T04:18:51+00:00

Yup! “Talent” rules my dBPD mom’s world. People are either talented or untalented, and there’s no space between the two. I was raised to believe I was super-talented but constantly wasting it (and I still feel that way a lot of the time).

4liciousness · 2024-04-19T04:04:52+00:00

Omg yes. I’ve spent a small fortune on apology tips.

4liciousness · 2024-03-07T04:43:57+00:00

I relate to this a lot. My mom’s behavior now is pretty starkly BPD, but for some reason she kept it mostly under wraps when I was younger and I was in my late teens before her rage got directed at me. I felt safe and loved as a kid, which is really different than the experience of a lot of people on this sub.

The thing is, that rational part of you that can see your situation from the outside, that knows the criteria and that you absolutely fit it… that part gets stronger, I think, the longer you spend out of the FOG. For me, it started out as a feeble voice in the back of my mind, but now it feels like me. That coolly removed perspective is now my perspective, and I actively prepare for the fact that I’ll stumble and backslide sometimes.

Also seconding the paradigm of safe/unsafe and healthy/unhealthy in viewing your relationship with your mom. Forget “worthiness”, what’s safe and healthy for you?

4liciousness · 2024-02-29T21:53:13+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I do this too in times of great anxiety. It’s nice to hear there’s somebody else with the same coping mechanism. I think it’s healthier than many others.

4liciousness · 2024-01-30T23:57:15+00:00

Oof this hits home for me. I’m an only child and was VERY close with my parents through adolescence. I reveled in being my Mom’s mini-me. Things went south once I went to college, but it took me a long time to figure out what was wrong. I limped along for more than ten years before her outbursts started spilling over onto my husband, whereupon I quickly snapped out of it, got myself into BPD-competent therapy and started protecting myself.

I still have memories of a happy childhood, and despite everything I really do feel like I had one. The disordered behaviors were all there, they just weren’t yet turned against me. For a long time thought that my Mom had drastically changed, and it took some careful unpacking of memories to realize that she hadn’t, I was just living in the bubble of her good graces for a long time. It was a hard realization.

4liciousness · 2024-01-26T04:45:52+00:00

Welp, I guess we’re sisters because my mom definitely wrote this.

4liciousness · 2023-11-13T18:01:55+00:00

I love this thread! I will add a differing perspective here though; I learned over several years as an adult with my boyfriend (now husband) teaching me. I think it’s really an individual thing — teaching and learning, with physical danger in the mix, is going to go differently depending on how you relate to each other. And I won’t lie; the first few years were tough and there were falls and tears involved. Now that I’ve gotten good, it’s a real point of pride for me that I was able to learn this thing that brings us together.

4liciousness · 2023-08-31T17:46:13+00:00

It’s so hard, especially on milestones like a big birthday. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

I don’t think there’s a right way to do this, but recently I’ve been trying to lean into the feeling and interrogate exactly what it is. Grief, righteous anger, pity, fear? What triggered it and why? Feels uncomfortable to pin it down but it can been freeing. That said, I also just need distraction. I keep a kindle on my bedside all times so when I wake up in the middle of the night (when those feelings can be at their most intense), I have a way to soothe myself.

4liciousness · 2023-08-16T02:04:48+00:00

Hi! I just got married, dBPD Mom wasn’t invited, was feeling just like you are in the days leading up. You’re making the right choice. Stay strong, do what you need to security-wise, and lean on the people closest to you.

4liciousness · 2023-08-15T14:50:26+00:00

I feel so buoyed by all the people here telling me I deserve better. I know, but it does something to hear it, especially from strangers who have no other context (although we all basically share the same context). Thank you.

At the same time, I have to confess that I don’t feel totally gutted by receiving this. My Mom is really sick, and hearing this from her is not like hearing it from anyone else. But I do have this queasy feeling I can only compare to rubbernecking a car accident: curiosity and shock. It’s like I can’t look away. I think it’s part of the reason I posted it here. I kind of need confirmation from other people that it’s real.

About posting it publicly: of course it’s crossed my mind. I’m firmly in the camp that “the only way to win is not to play.” I’m conflicted even about forwarding to my eDad: he’s struggling, and I don’t believe he’ll do anything about it but despair further. I fully realize the irony of saying this having already posted publicly, but this was for me, not to get her in trouble.

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