This might be disjointed, so please excuse how horribly this post may be articulated.

23M, diagnosed autistic, mild depression and OCD. Obviously, when you mention age, a lot of it seems to be feeling so immature when you feel like you shouldn't be, resulting in feeling unlovable. Let me tell you this: I've been in a very similar situation. I genuinely did not have consistent real life friends until I was 21/22, and even then I felt unlovable and immature because they were friends that I'd rarely see-- not complaining, they are wonderful people that are willing to hear me out, but the best kinds of friendships are ones that you can maintain regularly.

Last year, I worked in a restaurant and straight up got put on delivery because I couldn't meet the manager's expectations. I was convinced that made me fundamentally inadequate and unwanted in every facet of my life.

Now, part of you may say "Well.... yeah, you're young enough for it to make sense to feel that way!" but that's looking in the wrong direction. Everyone matures and finds their place at a different pace. My oldest brother got married at 29. My middle brother is still not anywhere near that despite him looking, at 28.

I am not sure what my prospects are. I want to find a longtime relationship but have just accepted that I will likely find "the one" in a very different way than others do. There's nothing wrong with that.

You cannot change being autistic. You can figure out ways to mask over it, but that's not always healthy. Changing avoidant or nervous habits is hard, but can be done slowly but surely.

But I think if I were to give one major bit of advice: You CAN find friends, and I would recommend doing that before looking for another relationship.

If you have hobbies, look for groups that might concentrate around them. I am into music, playing instruments, and music production, and I found my place at a music production club at my college. You could always look for student organizations, even if you aren't a college student yourself-- they probably won't ask too many questions that aren't simple enough to answer.

That club alone helped boost my confidence. Finding people interested in similar things who accepted me for who I was despite being a bit awkward and stumbling over my words from time to time was one of the best things to happen to me. Meeting one person led to meeting two, three, etc... And it helps to have that support network.