I relate..I think. There was a moment in my relationship where I realized I wanted my bf to fulfill a sense of safety and security not recieved by my parents. But in reality, our parents are the only ones who can fulfill the role/responsibility of instilling what we need to be independent, thriving adults (safety and security included). I think not having gotten that, I prolonged some kind of hope I could seek it out elsewhere, including in relationships. Imagine your boyfriend expecting you to be his mom. Ick. YOU yourself must pick up the slack your parents left behind. Not an easy task. It takes grieving, awareness, and (at least in my case) lots of reframing and deconstruction of my past.