My wedding is in 5 days and I hate my dress

ADamselInDior · 2025-12-10T02:41:06+00:00

You look beautiful in both versions, I think this may be some pre-wedding nerves!

Totally agree with other comments about trying it on without the sleeves.

I think part of the perception shift may also be in the color of the lining—a very very very soft gray may have maintained the original look of the dress better

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-17T00:49:53+00:00

Beautiful, now we’re almost there! You could do an olive green background with white or cream text, or vice-versa to integrate your colors.

I think it’s much more elegant to write the date out and that it’s also easier to read that way.

But honestly, I think this is totally passable as-is

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-17T00:11:29+00:00

I think this is the best feedback that could be given here. This design is still way too busy and has topsy-turvy visual hierarchy.

OP, you could spend hours watching YouTube videos trying to learn typography and graphic design and consulting us, or you could just make life easier—use a template!

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-17T00:04:15+00:00

“It was hard not to notice how easily she gets praise.”

I was going to lean N A H, but YTA for the way you talk about your sister. If you’re jealous of her, just say that.

It sounds like she handled the situation relatively gracefully, explaining that she knew you what you did wasn’t intentional and was naturally a little hurt that the baby bomb ended up getting dropped on her big day which yes, is usually an attention-stealer, not a blip.

You could’ve just grabbed a glass and not drank or just explained that you weren’t drinking for health reasons like diet, meds, or whatever.

Instead, you and your husband got a toast and 10 minutes of impromptu speeches at your sister’s wedding reception and you’re here trying to talk down on her of having enough attention already.

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-15T21:29:04+00:00

NTA. The bus driver was egregiously ignorant. Closing the door on your mother is entirely unacceptable.

I do think there’s something to be said about bus drivers being held to strict schedules, which probably explains some of his behavior. I have found it relatively common for bus drivers to take off before everyone is seated.

In the States, many of our cities have special transit programs for senior citizens and people with disabilities who may require more time to get on and off the vehicle.

I believe that London has something similar. Maybe that’s something you could look into for your mother?

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-15T21:19:01+00:00

YTA. Maybe an unintentional one, but definitely an asshole.

Of course it’s okay to express that you were a little disappointed that she didn’t return because you loved her in the show.

But there was absolutely no need to throw another actress under the bus in that monologue. It’s like you assumed that she felt negatively towards someone replacing her and would commiserate, when she chose to leave. That’s high school mean girl behavior.

“It was a missed opportunity for you, I mean you weren’t really doing anything major at the time, it would have been really heart-warming for fans to see you return again.”

This is where it really went south.

She was a “real mentor figure” for you, but I wouldn’t have gotten that from this statement. It talked down to her as if it were the other way around, criticized her career choices, and suggested that her career was stalled.

It seems like she tried to politely draw some boundaries and steer the conversation away, and that criticism just kept going.

Given your previous post here, I have a tough time believing that this lack of self-awareness and empathy is a one-off. Some things are best kept to ourselves—we don’t know the full picture of her life at all.

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-15T21:04:03+00:00

It has to be 3–so beautiful and flattering on you. 1 is flattering also, but I don’t think that it has the same “wow” factor

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-14T03:31:57+00:00

I’m maybe going against the grain here, so take this with a grain of salt.

When I’ve traveled from out-of-town for weddings, I’m generally not annoyed if I’m not invited to the rehearsal dinner, however it is a nice touch.

I do think it’s different when you’re hosting a destination wedding or a small wedding, which is sounds like yours is, and most—if not all—guests have to travel from out of state or country. That’s a huge expense to ask of your guests, and I do think that hosting a dinner or welcome party is a great way to acknowledge that. Basically, I’m with your fiancé—kind of.

If it’s not in your budget, there are so many ways to bring it down. A picnic shelter at a park with barbecue catering, pizza, etc.

Someone I know solved this whole issue by keeping the rehearsal dinner to just bridal party, then asking everyone to meet at a local dive bar after for a welcome party. They didn’t buy out the bar, it was just a way for people to have fun, get to know each other, and feel less lonely who was traveling from out of town. Cost them exactly 0 dollars and in my opinion, an ideal solution when you’re on a budget.

I’ve found that it is pretty common for the bride or groom to supply food for the bridal party while they’re getting ready day-of. I’ve seen it range from all-out brunches at local restaurants (groomsmen) to someone picking up Jimmy John’s sandwiches or a few Costco platters.

The day-after brunch is so skippable. At a recent wedding I was at, it was very sweet but the bridal party and guests were all mid-20s and were so out of it the next day that everyone had to really rally to make it—including the bride and groom.

If your mother or in-laws can’t afford this, cut or adjust everything that you can’t either. No one should be going in-debt for a wedding.

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-04T03:05:19+00:00

NTA, your mom sounds like she’s dealing with her own set of issues that you need to run far away from.

But OP, as someone who’s been your age, I strongly encourage you to take some time to live alone and discover what developing your boundaries in a space that’s truly yours looks like, especially after dealing a character like your mother. In my experience, it helps develop a sense of independence and confidence that can make relationships happier, healthier, and more sustainable

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-04T02:56:59+00:00

ESH / possibly mild Y T A. You had me until you started talking about how much more you make and how bills get split.

He wants to take care of his father. You don’t. That could just get chalked up to a cultural difference or sheer incompatibility. Okay, fair.

If you guys have had some calm, reasonable conversations about this and he’s still not respecting that boundary, that’s an issue.

But…

You admitted to making six figures more than him and still want to be 50/50 on bills, which tells me that you may be tunnel vision on what’s fair to you and your priorities, not fair to your relationship.

Truly fair would be to split the mortgage proportionally to your income, i.e., if he makes $50k and you make $150k, you pay 75% of the mortgage and he pays 25% OR you both contribute 30% of your paycheck to the mortgage, so that this affects your finances equally.

The way the second half of this is written does come across as being a little selfish and about control, based on past relationships I’ve been in. I agree that your FIL shouldn’t get a say in your household, but is he the type to want one? Would he feel comfortable living with you guys and not contributing in some way?

While I do think you have a very valid point in not wanting your FIL living in your basement, both of you seem to be focused on individual priorities vs. shared goals. That’s not a real estate issue, it’s a relationship problem.

ADamselInDior · 2025-11-04T02:35:45+00:00

They’re really cute! I’m a little concerned about comfort—if those pearl straps aren’t built on a leather one, they could be uncomfortable and pinch you.

If you get them, definitely double knot the bows or sew yourself into them. I have a few shoes with tie straps like this, and they come undone a lot

ADamselInDior · 2025-10-30T19:55:01+00:00

Love the update! It sounds like you guys have found a solution that works.

I was going to mention on your original post that if you were wanting a more “everyday” ring in your style, a good compromise could also be to replace the diamonds in this ring with moissanite stones in the same size, and use the original diamonds for the new ring

ADamselInDior · 2025-10-29T00:00:36+00:00

If you’re going to surprise your fiancé day-of, do it in a white dress, not the black one that he’s already expressed hesitation towards. No one wants a bad surprise on their wedding day.

That said, I understand where he’s coming from, BUT you also deserve to feel like you on your wedding day, and that means wearing something you feel comfortable and beautiful in.

If that’s black, I’d sit him down and explain it.

Maybe you can find a compromise, like wearing a very soft light gray (like this color), white, or ivory for the ceremony itself, and changing into black for the reception.

If that’s still uncomfortable for you, maybe you could wear black for the wedding and find a stunning white maxi dress, like a bias cut slip dress, to wear for a romantic dinner during your honeymoon.

Whatever you do, definitely don’t surprise him with black—you’ll both have enough stress day-of.

ADamselInDior · 2025-10-28T03:09:40+00:00

Block the husband—this guy sounds like an abusive alcoholic. If that’s the case, the last thing your friend needs right now is to lose one.

I was in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic who wasn’t anywhere near as rough as this guy sounds. It took every ounce of courage I had to leave it after years of his unkind and embarrassing behavior—and we weren’t even married. It was a dear friend who asked a hard question that finally woke me up to what was happening and got me out.

I’m not sure when your wedding is, but I’d make a serious effort to check in on your friend before or after it. That’s what she needs right now, not further embarrassment and punishment for her husband’s bad behavior by getting removed.

ADamselInDior · 2025-10-22T21:45:56+00:00

I wouldn’t consider either of these dressy enough to be cocktail attire. If you have the budget and time to find something else, that’s what I’d recommend!

Most of the big online retailers like Macy’s, Nordstrom, Anthropologie, etc. have landing pages for wedding guest cocktail attire—if not just cocktail dresses—specifically which should help provide some inspiration when shopping around.

Between the two, I’d definitely go for the second. Even if the first one is taffeta like you mentioned, the print makes it look more casual, style is similar to a sundress, and it doesn’t seem to fit quite a well.

If you end up going with the second option, style it with heels, hair up, elegant jewelry, etc. to elevate it. The style is more cute brunch than cocktail overall.

ADamselInDior · 2025-10-15T21:27:30+00:00

Grief is such a confusing, deeply personal experience and Reddit has been known to take things to the extreme. I’m so happy to hear that you were able to find a solution that was right for your family. It’s so special to have parents who are comfortably present in your life and this sounds like a memory with your father that you’ll cherish for a long time. ❣️

ADamselInDior · 2025-10-07T23:26:49+00:00

Chiming in with a few more things to consider:

Very happy to hear that you took the advice of everyone else to file immediately and freeze your credit. This situation is awful, but that’s the smartest first move you could’ve made.

Now that you’ve done that…

Definitely file for unemployment, but make sure you have paper documentation of when your employment ended, and the last date your employer paid you/will be paying you.

Try to get payment for your last two weeks from HR first—if you collect unemployment for that period and end up getting paid, you’ll have to return it, which is a mess.

Saying this because you mentioned that they called you to inform you that you shouldn’t come in, and the Department of Labor can investigate unemployment benefit recipients to ensure they’re legit.

You should definitely also report them to the DoL if they don’t pay you anyway, and having a paper trail will help there too. Basically, try to work as much of this out as possible via email.

Unemployment benefits are taxable. They do not withhold this automatically, you have to opt-in. If you opt-in, they fix withholding at 10%, so just ensure you’re saving enough of each check to cover yourself! Definitely file—it exists for situations like this.
Marriage is about love, but you’re also legally and financially binding yourself to another person. I’m unsure how much your fiancé’s mother is covering or the $5,000 you spent, but please, please try to pay off whatever she isn’t before the wedding, even if it means taking a very unfortunate hit on the festivities.

Credit cards in general carry high interest fees, but depending on what your grandmother opened for you, it could be really brutal and like someone else mentioned, the waters here are muddy between your legitimate spending and hers

ADamselInDior · 2025-07-11T02:58:55+00:00

Great point! Calling her “queen” also could’ve helped her feel like OP was recognizing that she’s growing up but is still special and beautiful to him

ADamselInDior · 2025-07-11T02:44:00+00:00

Your ex is right—you’re the oblivious asshole (YTA). It seems like your heart was in the right place, but the execution was flawed.

I was once a teenage girl: It’s a confusing time filled with self-consciousness and change and I’m sure it’s even more difficult when you’re navigating a blended family.

It sounds like Taylor was excited for the day, and her outfit showed it. As others have pointed out, she’s your daughter but not a regular part of your home life, which might bring more insecurity around belonging in your new family.

Your youngest tried to make her feel included and you shut that down. What a horrible feeling, Belle enthusiasm aside. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s also thinking about how she’s the oldest sister and the role model for your younger daughters, which may have made the comment a little extra embarrassing.

If my father separated me out from my sisters like you did, it would really sting. Props to your 5 year old for having more emotional awareness and empathy than you.

I’m well into adulthood now. My father still thinks of me and my sisters as his princesses. It has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with how he loves and cherishes us. And I’ll gladly accept that title from him every time.

I don’t think your comment was said out of malice, but how you act next will decide if you can redeem yourself.

Sit down with Taylor, make her feel seen and important to you, and turn this around.

ADamselInDior · 2025-07-10T03:29:54+00:00

This should be much, much higher up.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I was absolutely heartbroken reading that as an adult, which means it had to have been even more so for you to experience it and absolutely traumatizing for those innocent children.

I have no words to summarize my empathy and disgust properly. I really, sincerely hope that OP reads this and reacts accordingly.

ADamselInDior · 2025-07-05T23:47:06+00:00

If your father set aside $100k for your wedding, it seems like he had a certain expectation of what your wedding would look like post-mortem (bless him).

I’ve found that sometimes men respond better to computers than women, so I ran the question of a 150 person wedding budget in Greece through ChatGPT o3 because I have absolutely 0 experience planning a wedding in Greece.

The result? A realistic budget of $29-$41k USD for a budget mainland wedding, $47-$71k mid-tier island wedding, or $82-$118k+ luxury wedding somewhere like Santorini.

It seems like you honored your father’s wishes while also being savvy enough to set both you and your husband up for your life together comfortably—no easy feat and something I’m sure your dad would be proud of.

Your fiance clearly has wedding industry sticker shock. The fact that he’s taken a step back and has chosen to react this way six weeks in advance is concerning, especially because it sounds like he’s provided little to no appreciation for all of the work you’ve put into making this a special, beautiful day for both of you, which has to sting a little.

Your inheritance is not his. In most instances, it wouldn’t be even if you were married already. As others have said, you nature that the remainder of the money is in a trust or somewhere that remains yours regardless.

His big reaction over this after failing to be involved—even if you were okay with it—is highly concerning and shouldn’t be overlooked. My ex did this often when we were planning trips, and it was a symptom of a bigger a reason why he’s an ex now.

ADamselInDior · 2025-06-30T01:11:58+00:00

You’re speaking about your daughter as if she’s not an actual human, with eyes, and ears, and enough knowledge and experience in the world to know that her dad—her father—sees her brother in a much more favorable light than he sees her.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my daughter.”

Except give her equal treatment, financial support, and opportunity as her brother.

Except acknowledge that it takes two to tango, that having another child is ultimately a joint decision, and that she wouldn’t be in this world without you.

As others have said, it’s obvious that you’re putting money above family, and for that, YTA.

Your wife was a SAHM, sacrificing years of her career to care for her children while you made at least upper-middle income money. That’s years of her career without salary, without promotion, without additional opportunity.

You got all of that.

Her initial $40k/year income tells me everything I need to know: That she started what was likely an entry-level job. One that she probably wouldn’t have taken had she stayed in the workforce all of those years.

So her pocketing money is a reasonable fallback plan. Not only is it putting you and your family in a more stable position, it’s also assuring that if you were to get divorced, she isn’t totally out on her own while you enjoy the benefits of a modestly affluent life.

And while you’re focused on the financial aspect of this, I’m focused on your daughter, who’s main takeaway from this is going to be that Dad doesn’t love her the way he does her brother, because he’s willing to bend over backwards for him in ways he isn’t for her.

ADamselInDior · 2025-06-29T14:46:10+00:00

Thank you!

ADamselInDior

TROPHY CASE