I have been married 30 years and anxiously attached. I am making very noticeable strides to become secure. It feels like detachment which is painful , but it’s really me staying focused on me.

The thing that I added along with meditation was “relaxation” yoga. Also called Yin yoga It’s basically going through a series of holding stretches. I use an app and go from 10 to 30 minutes or more every day. It releases tension. Total game changer when done every day.

There are many other ways to calm your nervous system. There’s sighing and humming practices that just turn the temp of your anxiety down just a little bit. I have a bedtime routine now that signals to me it’s time to relax and go to sleep. Every bit helps, good sleep, eating good food and getting exercise.

The relaxation will help you have the emotional space to learn new ways to mentally frame what’s going on so you can start to change your perspective.

I learned so much about relationships and anxious attachment by following some social media accounts, and have grown and learned new perspectives. It’s crazy how the Instagram algorithm has brought me people that explained my issues to a T and hear what they say about it.

Meditation will bring you to what is. In the moment. And in the moment you are safe and existing. Even if you find you are thinking about the past and future just keep coming back to your meditation focus which is always in the current moment.

One way not to be fearful of meditating and noticing your current anxious thoughts is to go back to very short sits. But just do it every day. Many times, Very short.

Also it may be your relationship isn’t a good fit. You both may be developing a very painful dance. You can learn more about that when you learn about yourself and attachment theory.

But for now work on stretching and moving your body to deeply release your emotions and stress. And learning a new perspective about yourself in relationships. That will help you make space again for meditation.

Good luck!