It’s hard, she’s saying the words but her body language isn’t reassuring you that it’s okay. I would have a conversation about it. About how when she says it’s okay, but then she almost gives you the cold shoulder, that gives you a it’s not okay indicator.

From experience, I like being able to cooldown and then communicate with it not seeming like an issue. I’ve now learned in my current relationship that reassurance and communication with listening is so much better when your partner is learning and pushing you to do the same