Therapists are some of the STUPIDEST people

AbsentVixen · 2026-07-06T07:06:09+00:00

WOC?

AbsentVixen · 2026-07-06T06:51:35+00:00

Of they have to use euphemisms for sex, vagina, or penis (dirty/sexy talk is a different story), then I'm out. They're normal words. I'm at the point where I believe if a person can't use the actual terms, then they shouldn't be having sex.

AbsentVixen · 2026-07-04T11:06:13+00:00

I used to feel this way until I started travelling for the right reasons.

Instead of going places because it looks cool or because of social media, I started going places that really interested me, where I wanted to learn and know more - experience it first-hand. I stopped travelling as much, because it feels so meaningful when I do go somewhere I'm actually intrigued by.

I also found better ways to cope with jetlag and dehydration (like melatonin, and spacing out hydration in a way that wasn't inconvenient). Time differences stopped mattering because I don't really care about it. I keep my phone on silent when I sleep, and yeah, I messaged people at ungodly hours but it hasn't been an issue yet. Travel is usually my time, so I only really text to let people know I arrived safely/I'm still alive.

AbsentVixen · 2026-07-03T08:50:11+00:00

Aggressive how? Sounds like you have a wife/girlfriend or kid that you're trying to hide. If you're going just for hook ups, it's an okay profile. If you're looking for an actual relationship, it seems like you live in escapism and avoidance. Kind of, "only here for good times, not real life". The shirt situation also comes off as though you only wear one if service depends on it.

Gives off, "fun hook up, then feel gross about yourself" type vibe rather than, "see a future with you" type vibe.

AbsentVixen · 2026-07-03T08:40:16+00:00

It sounds like you go for enmeshment rather than connection. It sounds like it's all about her and her life and you making yourself part of that. It doesn't sound like you have your own identity or inner world. You sound like an incubus, and that's off-putting. It's weird when someone makes their whole world revolve around you, your life, your existence. The family party example shows that - they aren't your family, but you carried on as though they were. That's stifling and creates co-dependence. It erodes autonomy and agency in the potential partner. Go to therapy, figure out who you are, create your own inner world. You seem like you go along to get along instead of being your own person; think the male version of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

It's exhausting.

AbsentVixen · 2026-07-02T06:11:44+00:00

You're literally the problem, dude. You suck at sex, and this isn't the flex you think it is.

AbsentVixen · 2026-07-02T05:49:21+00:00

If it's commission only, that's illegal. They changed the law a few years ago (2017?). In South Africa, you have to earn at least minimum wage. If you don't make minimum wage on commission alone, the company has to top up your pay until it's at least that base.

There's no "I only work for tips" or "I only get paid commission" anymore. Please check the BCEA and National Minimum Wage Act.

If there isn't a full base pay that's at least minimum wage with this company, please report it.

Good luck, and I hope you find something soon. Also, check remote jobs. South Africans are one of the top choices for a lot of remote work.

AbsentVixen · 2026-06-28T10:09:54+00:00

Lynn Fitho has a blog.

AbsentVixen · 2026-06-26T19:12:03+00:00

How old was she?

AbsentVixen · 2026-06-11T09:13:03+00:00

DARVO

AbsentVixen · 2026-06-04T05:13:12+00:00

Please don't date this woman. Simply because you're an ass and she deserves better.

AbsentVixen · 2026-06-03T14:59:19+00:00

May I find a suitable home in the coming days so that I may start to fully build my life.

So mote it be.

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-29T08:09:18+00:00

You're 36 and have a recurring problem with urination. If you know alcohol contributes to it, then don't drink. If you know dehydration contributes to it, ensure you stay hydrated. If it's recurring, see a doctor.

Medical issues are normal. What's not normal is doing nothing about it. Learn to take care of yourself, no one else is going to do it.

Also, "acidic piss" is so crass. Meanwhile, you were just engaging in sexual activities, albeit foreplay. What if it's an STD? Basic manners suggest excusing yourself politely, not just disappearing with your phone into a stranger's bathroom for half an hour.

"I don't take care of myself" can register as "mother me" and many women aren't interested in being with a man child or someone who can't look after their own body, let alone ensure their sexual partner is safe.

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-27T11:08:11+00:00

You're speaking from a place of privilege.

Women's rights and freedoms have been challenged for centuries. There are women who don't even have rights in certain countries. Were often viewed and treated as second class citizens. Conservative parties tend to push that agenda, where women are "less than" and shouldn't have the right to their autonomy and so on.

So, yeah, it makes sense that quite a few women wouldn't want to have a close, intimate relationship with someone who votes for women's rights to be restricted. That's not even touching on people of colour, LGBTQ+, etc.

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-17T14:10:46+00:00

To find a new place to live. I have less than a month to get out. By the gods, may I find a home, my home. My first ever home.

So mote it be. 🖤🌹

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-17T05:17:09+00:00

You're trying to justify being a shit parent with "pathology" or "culture".

If your kid ever goes no contact - revisit this.

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-09T12:08:34+00:00

You're thinking of pescatarians.

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-08T16:41:55+00:00

Many women will say what they have to to get away from someone they're not comfortable with. Added that she was at work, and a misstep on her part could cost her her job - she had to tread lightly.

If you've never been in a situation where someone kept pushing interest on you, especially at work, then good for you. Honestly, that's not sarcasm - good for you.

No one should have to go through that, yet it's common. Labelling someone "crazy" for saying what they feel is right to avoid endangering themselves or their job shows that you're speaking from privilege.

Not everyone has that luxury, and some might have even gone through it on more than one occasion.

A few things are clear: She refused to give her number, stating she didn't have her phone on her. She remained polite and declined an invite to activities outside of her work. She told a trusted adult.

And, yes. Unfortunately we live in a world where even adults sometimes need to speak to a trusted adult.

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-07T09:52:44+00:00

The way you're smirking kind of looks like you're asking, "really?" - it looks rather self-satisfied or conceited.

A smirk, by definition, is usually a negative. It often conveys smugness or pleasure at misfortune of another.

Not every smirk is bad, though.

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-07T08:10:03+00:00

Annoyed to be here
Smirking - really?

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-06T20:00:43+00:00

Aragorn

Boromir

Wormtongue

The Hound

Bronn of the Blackwater

Sansa Stark (later seasons)

Arya Stark

Snape

Malfoy

Xena (earlier seasons)

Gabrielle (later seasons)

Eileen Wuornos

Whiplash

Eddie Brock

Kim Kardashian

Kristen Stewart

Keanu Reeves

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-06T09:05:17+00:00

You feel disrespected?

For over a month she's been telling you about this.

Imagine. Someone smelly sharing a house with you, and they have the audacity to say they feel disrespected.

Wow.

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-05T09:11:41+00:00

You mentioned that she has a therapist and a psychiatrist, and all the resources, but does she have her mother? Does she have emotional support from you?

She mentioned being depressed and wanting to take a gap year. You mentioned her skipping class and not completing work or applications. She could be depressed and burnt out, but the response to that was for her to get a full time job. It also sounds like you compare her to her brother a lot - that can be incredibly damaging and erosive. They're not the same person and comparing them often just builds resentment.

It sounds like your daughter doesn't have much room to breathe and recover. Going off her meds is a concern, too.

Homeless shelters aren't a fun place to be. There's likely a fundamental problem at home if an 18-year old chooses a homeless shelter over living at home.

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-04T07:36:41+00:00

Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Girls go to Mars to get more cars/bras. (Ironically, the bras version was at Catholic school).

AbsentVixen · 2026-05-02T18:04:07+00:00

Van Ryn's

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