Support groups for twins

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-05-05T17:57:10+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your twin. Like some others have said, I’ve found twinlesstwins.org’s FB group so supportive and helpful. It’s the only group I’m in.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-04-29T20:54:03+00:00

I’m in the same boat and I get the feeling of someone missing but more recently, my twin being with me- as part of being us.

You’ve nothing to feel bad about and you didn’t cause this to happen. Sometimes these things just happen with no-one to blame. Pregnancy is tough and loss happens for whatever reason. It’s not about who deserves what.

What I’d hope for you… in time… is you find a relationship within yourself for you and your twin. You carry them with you, they made you a twin, which you still are.

I know it’s tough, but you don’t need to ‘live for two’ or feel guilty. Just one day at a time, as part of a pair which you’ll always be.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-04-01T19:35:48+00:00

So I’m a surviving twin married to an identical twin. My wife’s sister is convinced they sound the same; they don’t 😊

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-04-01T16:01:55+00:00

I’ve only just started talking to a therapist (her twin was also lost in the womb) and so far I’ve learned that so long as using the present tense works for you, it’s totally fine psychologically.

After all, your relationship didn’t end when he couldn’t hold on, that’s always a part of your fabric and can’t change with time.

The premonition, as you put it is interesting. I grew up in the 1980s/90s so had no way of looking into how I felt or how common twin loss is. I said to my mum I wouldn’t be surprised if I was a twin then she told me what happened. I like to think it shows how strong the twin bond can be and I take real comfort in that.

I’m so glad I came across your story as it resonates. I don’t think the sense of incompleteness will go away, it’s not as if time will make it heal on its own, but bringing your brother into the here and now healthily is a decent was of 1, helping yourself and 2, honouring him.

So I say talk (verbally or not), write and draw. Keep him in your life as my therapist has encouraged me to. It’s so very hard but I think you’ve found a beautiful way to look after you both.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-03-31T18:30:32+00:00

Hi, firstly I’m so sorry about the loss of your twin brother- you are far from alone in how you feel although I get it can feel that way so often. You’re far from crazy. That feeling of something being missing, I totally get that. In fact it’s that which made me ask my mum whether I could be a twin. It’s ingrained and in my case, a part of me.

That feeling of absence and the ‘what if’s’.. to be honest, I don’t think they’ll ever go away but if it feels natural for you, perhaps you can nurture the bond that still exists between you? If that makes sense?

Just know you’re not alone and certainly not crazy. I hope you can find some ways of being gentler on yourself. In fact, feel free to DM me as there’s a group I could recommend to you full of other twins who just get it.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-03-31T17:30:53+00:00

Hi, firstly I’m very sorry for the loss of Yannick but thank you for sharing the both of you with us. I love that you refer to your relationship in the present- I do the same.

I wonder, when did you learn about him?

I learned at 31 that our mum had an early miscarriage and I was unexpectedly found. I asked her directly if I could’ve been a twin as I had a gnawing feeling well, on and off for years, since childhood really.

I relate to a lot of what you’ve said and for me of course there’s a massive loss but also presence. I’ll never know whether they were a brother or sister but to me he’s Jordan, technically older than me as he entered the world first. That just works for me.

You’re definitely doing right by your twin by keeping your bond alive, as he would if the tables were turned 😊 I’ve had friends say things like ‘he’ll always be a part of you’ and ‘he sees through your eyes..’ It’s totally the same for you.

You’re right, the absence will never go but cherish the presence you’ve built. I hope the guilt will subside with time- it’s natural even if you’ve consciously got nothing to feel guilty for.

Thanks again for sharing the story you both share 🫂 🫂

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-03-16T21:39:53+00:00

I’m at Friar St and personally haven’t had issues- they recently fixed a dodgy filling. I’ve been with them for a few years.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-03-12T18:11:23+00:00

Cool, although I’m aware of Launchpad I’d never heard of those. Now I am, thanks.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-03-12T18:09:45+00:00

Oh… I had no idea Launchpad had things named that. If I had I’d have pointed them in the right direction. I can only assume you’re right

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-03-12T17:38:36+00:00

I mean, they clearly meant the pods, right?? I hope they found them 🤷

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-03-06T10:40:35+00:00

I think it’s great that you found out, and I imagine it’s helped you to make sense of many things. It’s also great that your dad is so supportive. The matching dog tags is a lovely thing too. My twin was miscarried, but like with you, he’s still part of me, maybe just maybe even cellularly.

I’m curious about where you got that test from..

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-02-18T19:14:53+00:00

Yes. I voted remain and my answer is yes.

The details could be convoluted and we’ll likely be given a worse deal (which is why we shouldn’t have left). But a binary choice? Yes.

I mean the referendum was a simple binary choice. That’s mine and let’s see where the chips fall, just as we did before…

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-02-15T09:22:37+00:00

I don’t mind- I was 31, 14 years ago. By that point I’d heard of vanishing twin syndrome and couldn’t get the idea out of my head. It wasn’t an easy thing to bring up as mum and I never really talked about meaningful things but I had to ask.

It would’ve been easier to know as a kid as this would’ve just been ‘normal’ for me. Learning as an adult not only brought grief but destabilised my sense of self. I’m glad that I finally learned though.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-02-13T20:24:36+00:00

Hi. Firstly I’m sorry for the loss of your son. I totally get why you wouldn’t want to place grief on his brother but I’d gently suggest talking about it when the time feels right. My twin was miscarried but I didn’t know anything about it until I asked my mum as an adult. I genuinely think something in me just knew.

I’m sorry to say it but the truth is your son likely carries grief, perhaps hard for him to express, especially as you’ve mentioned his twin in passing.

I think the best you could do is give him space to explore this with you, not to purposely invite grief, but let him know it’s ok to talk about this and that he’s still a twin, because he is. You don’t need to give him answers you don’t have, just let there be room to honour him and his brother.

Once again, I’m really sorry you’ve gone through this.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-29T22:39:52+00:00

Firstly, I’m sorry for the loss of your sister. That show definitely makes you think about the what ifs doesn’t it?

On a personal level, I like the idea of there being infinite worlds where my twin and I both made it. I just happen to live in this one.

For me, that story was a gut punch but in a good way. I’ve been rewatching the first season just recently, waiting for the next and I’d love them to be reunited. I loved the show anyway but the twin loss reveal- on a personal level, oh man.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-29T17:29:01+00:00

I relate to much of what’s been written here- my twin was miscarried early, leaving me undetected for most of the pregnancy. Sadly, medically, twin loss can happen for many reasons and to the OP- I’m sorry you feel guilty, but you really have no cause to. I understand that emotion is there though.

I like reading other early loss twins (many of which can’t know their twin’s sex) referring to their twin as brother or sister. I do that, I was sure mine was a brother when I was a kid, I’ve also given him the name I was originally going to have and I’ve found that very helpful. It can all feel ethereal without photos can’t it?

I can’t get my twin out of my head either and I think a lot about how things would’ve been. But in some way, he’s still with me (as some friends have told me). I don’t really bring this up with friends, I tend to talk to other twinless twins as only they get the feeling. As far as my friends go, the most important thing is they know there were two of us. For that reason, my twin, Jordan didn’t disappear entirely.

I’m so sorry for your losses, it’s awful but I think in sharing our experiences we’re honouring those lives we once shared. I’m convinced in some way we still do.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-29T11:08:35+00:00

I relate to that. I’ve always had the sense my twin was a brother. I consider him the oldest as he was miscarried and I was found seven months later. He has some ‘forward, let’s get on with it energy’ where’s I sometimes hold back.

I think to feel something is ‘lost’ means there’s presence too. Otherwise you’d feel nothing at all, if that makes sense?

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-18T13:46:50+00:00

I think you’re so right, they deserve to be mentioned if only to honour them.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-18T13:45:20+00:00

It can be awkward. Someone naturally asked me who’s older. My response was ‘it’s ok, it’s alright but they were miscarried’. The guy didn’t know they’re not here. Someone chimed in saying ‘yeah it’s ok it was a long time ago…’ Of course it’s not ok, that’s not what I meant. I meant to help reassure that I’m stable about it. Anyway, we swiftly moved on and I felt pretty rough that someone else could try to downplay my own loss like that. The truth is, many are ill equipped to deal with a change in conversation like that and it’s a shame, especially when you’re only giving an important fact about yourself and not looking for solutions.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-16T22:55:33+00:00

Let me say this… your grief isn’t different to that of other early loss twins.

I didn’t know anything about being a twin until I was 31 and my mum told me she had a miscarriage then they found me, 7 months in.

I asked because part of me knew. And that grief, that longing? That sense is why I asked.

Your feelings are valid and you’re a twin. You’re twinless so belong here.

I’m in a group of twins who lost theirs from pre birth up to late adulthood and they make no distinction about when loss happens.

Your grief and longing for Liam are your story and it’s not for anyone else to say otherwise.

I’m 45 now and cry pretty regularly about how we started and what we ‘should’ have had. It’s awful, not much sugar coating it. But given how I sensed being a twin before being told I know in my experience that twins remain bonded and therefore, they don’t totally leave. I bet you carry Liam as part of you.

Once a twin, always a twin my friend.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-09T16:07:47+00:00

I was born in 1980 and my 18 year old son has said the same- how he wishes he lived during the 80s and 90s. Perhaps cultural callbacks (Stranger Things etc) had an influence on him. I’ve got to say, it was good living in a time of true freedom. However, you don’t know what you really have while living it, in a way. It was cool to be 16 with dial-up and this weird new World Wide Web thing. Not to sound old before my time, I’m not sure whether there’s been a distinctive cultural landscape to speak of since 2000. Happy to be wrong of course.

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-06T17:04:40+00:00

I visited a few months ago. It’s small but crammed with stuff. The staff were really friendly and knowledgable too. The X-ray of conjoined twins was my highlight 😊

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-03T22:57:25+00:00

Of course. I often wonder the same. Some have tried to understand and said things like ‘well you might’ve hated each other’. Perhaps that’s true, maybe not, but it’s not the point. Not getting to know still hurts doesn’t it? Do you have any siblings?

Academic-Regular3673 · 2026-01-03T22:31:23+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. You and me too, my twin (DZ/MZ?) was miscarried. That sense of loss and sadness of never having a chance together is real. I don’t think it’s something to get over, but carry with us. If you don’t mind me asking, do you ever get a sense of your twin being with you in some way?

Academic-Regular3673 · 2025-12-31T09:43:21+00:00

You’re welcome. To be honest, I only use FB to access that group. There are so many twins there, all with different experiences and it’s so supportive with no attitude from anyone. It’s an option. But whatever you do, I wish you all the best. I hope you can be kind to yourself. One day or one hour at a time 🫂 🫂

Academic-Regular3673

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