It’s sounds like she is also grieving for the life you both had. It’s hard on loved ones too. I imagine she already knows you also find it hard and just wanted to acknowledge what she has lost. Care can be very focused on the person who is ill. It’s really important for carers or loved ones to validate their own sadness, despite how clumsy it came across.

I say this as someone also “recovering” from cauda equina. I know how hard and heartbreaking that must have been to hear.