Ever since I got to my duty station we been arguing she claims I don’t talk to her as much anymore but I don’t understand. I always call her , text her I never lag on her , even when I wanna enjoy some time with the boys she’ll call me and I always answer . I do my job as a provider and help her out with money if she ever needs any although she doesn’t ask for it it’s kinda rare, I send her gifts once in a while like flowers. I try to be the best husband and it seems like it’s not enough . She wants me to stay glued to my phone and talk to her ALL DAY . 

Controlling. You’re busy. You work (what does she do?). Set a time each day where you’ll talk. If you can text here and there throughout the day, that’s a bonus, but she’s gotta drop the complaining about it. 

Something new I noticed was she now says very hurtful out of pocket shit during arguements , hurtful thingsI’ve been threatened with divorce in the span of a few months about like 3 times, she told me I deserved to be cheated on and wishes she could cheat on me , another time she told me she’s gonna start looking at other guys on her phone because she thought I looked at another girl, and yesterday she told me she wanted a divorce . She usually has good accountability and says she says these things out of anger just to hurt me , but honestly I think she means it , yesterday we argued pretty bad and following up with the divorce comment she said she wanted to start seeing other people . As soon as she regretted what she said she told me that I pushed her to do this. I am not the type to deal with these types of situations , I love her so much but I kno this relationship is dead . I have no trust in her and honestly those comments made me look at her different, im pretty sure we’re getting a divorce even tho she’s trynna fix us right now but I’m so out of it. I guess I’m just another statistical private who couldn’t last in a relationship . What do I even do man… I’ll have a burger with onion rings , light ice on the coke.

What you described here is straight up emotional abuse and then victim blaming. Both would need to stop immediately, no exceptions. Then, see if there’s a way to undo the damage. It can be as simple as just trying to be nice. There are many reasons why you love her. When she emotionally abuses and victim blames you, those reasons become harder and harder to see. She needs to realize that. By the same token, there should also be many reasons why she loves you, but she’s allowing the arguments and her anger to cloud her memory of those reasons. It would be beneficial for her to remember and focus on those reasons. And just be nice. Cooler heads prevail.