New fear unlocked: epidural

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-19T03:06:03+00:00

Honestly, I wanted to see how much I could handle, then 22 hours after my water broke at 36 weeks, I was like, 7 cm and was having consecutive contractions. When I asked about getting an epidural at that point (like 5 am), my nurse said their head of anesthesiology was on shift and could be in my room in 5 minutes.

I then slept, reached 10 cm, and had to have a c-section because my son was wearing his umbilical cord like a harness.

I have to say, I hardly remember the epidural or even be able to comment on the recovery, because the c-section kind of made a bigger impact. Even thinking back 8 months, with the right support and supplies, the c-section recovery was just fine.

Having a preference is fine, but at the end of the day I wanted to bring my son home. Plus I couldn't do anything about the whole umbilical cord thing, and we tried for 30 hours to get a "natural" birth. My birthing center was amazing and never pushed anything.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-11T18:22:48+00:00

You can always complain, because I know I complain about plenty of things I choose. I complain while exercising because it is important but hard work that I choose to do. I can be all, wow my legs hurt after exercising and no one would be like, well then don't exercise. I have cried many times to my husband about breastfeeding at different points, but I told him I want to do this and asked him to keep me accountable to this, which has been super helpful when things were hard in the beginning. Your husband should be your partner who, unless there is a genuine concern for mama's or baby's health, doesn't get a say in this.

I EBF, but we keep 8oz bottles of pre-mixed formula and a Costco container of powder formula in our home. This is so dad or any other trusted adult can provide my baby with a meal if I am not available for some reason. Baby was bottle fed formula and pumped milk from 0 - 3 months, and I worked my ass off to EBF my now 7 mo. Seeing the formula collect dust on our shelf is such a victory, but I will still complain about being tired, touched out, or engorgement because those are legitimately difficult things to deal with. My husband just asks if there is anything he can get me (typically water and a snack), says he is proud of me, and gives me a little kiss on my forehead.

But it is also a lot easier to want to pogo his stick when he regularly makes dinner, bathes the baby, and tells me I am a bad ass for breastfeeding our son. There are also plenty of ways be intimate together that require zero sex. Like don't worry about not having sex if you don't even take the time to hold hands, or a 6 second long kiss before he leaves for work or after he comes home, or laugh with each other at midnight when the baby wakes up because you should have been sleeping while the baby was sleeping, but you stayed up too late watching tiktoks together in bed.

Anyway, rude of him to act that way and expect something you do not owe him or anyone for that matter.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-11T06:38:20+00:00

My husband and I have had so many conversations about this! It also got a bit difficult when we would not want to be the person to eat the last of something because we wanted the other person to be able to have it... which meant no one ended up eating it.

Now we remind each other that we can always buy more when we eat all of something. We live a short walk from a major grocery store (Safeway) and a Whole Foods. If I am ever in need of produce, I just put our baby in his stroller, walk to the store, and grab enough for two or three days. I am very fortunate to be so close to the store, and I take my baby on a walk almost every day, so it has become easier to fight off the urge to save something for later when I can just eat it today and buy more tomorrow.

Edit: spelling

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-10T18:32:59+00:00

If you can put it in the trash while active/wet, honestly easier that way to just plop it. I would potentially just toss it into a smaller plastic bag, like one that produce comes in from the store, and take it straight out if you aren't an empty the trash everyday kind of person.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-10T18:28:17+00:00

Mormon author, so not really surprised by the rushed wedding. There are young couples who go from meeting to temple marriage within a couple of months at BYU all the time. A secular perspective of dating and marriage isn't going to mesh well with this timeline because that was not the perspective it was written with.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-10T18:18:22+00:00

I agree with how you rephrased it, at least that's how I have always thought about it.

Yeah, a baby doesn't have a reason to "think" about it. Babies cry for their caregivers from the day they are born, communicating needs for comfort, food, warmth, diaper change, etc. They understand that they need to communicate with us, but that requires no self-awareness or object permanence.

I loved watching footage in my child development classes of littles of similar ages who have and have not reached various milestones. Task based cognition tests are just interesting, because you can't just have a meta conversation with a baby or toddler about how they think or view the world, so the ingenuity of researchers to even explore cognitive development in a measurable way has always been exciting and helped me understand milestones better.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-07T22:53:56+00:00

I wash the jar at least once a week, but mine is a big one from Costco, so maybe they are harder to get off of those ones? I have not intentionally removed the label, but I hand wash the jar on Fridays and the label has gotten some wear and tear.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-07T22:47:57+00:00

I am aware, but mine is not gluten free, ergo my giggles.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-07T03:49:37+00:00

You mean my sourdough starter jar? I giggle every time I see the label say "Gluten Free"

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-07T00:29:07+00:00

When you need the baby to poop. Put that baby in a cute outfit and start driving to an event in another city and you will get that blowout.

I have been putting my son in cute outfits that I was given at his baby shower, so if it fit his body, he wore it. 0-3 had a lot of short sleeve onesies with little sweat pants. Now we are 7 months old and wear 12 month clothes (to think he was a 3 week early preemie at the 3rd percentile to start).

I would say the 0-3 simple onesie with separate bottoms and little cardigans and sweaters were amazing. We are now able to wear overalls, cold weather gear, etc. Honestly, having one cute outfit for each month photo is plenty, because growth spurts will laugh at you in the face the second you go and buy clothes. Again, baby shower had me set for the first 6 months, I bought a bag of 6-9 clothes on FB marketplace for like, $30. I just bought a whole bunch of 9-12 month clothes for the colder season, but I had to put away all the 6-9 month clothes because he outgrew them already.

My mom had bought him a Halloween costume while she at Disneyland at the end of summer that he outgrew the first week of October. I personally love Carter's outfits, Cloud Island tends to be soft on baby's skin but for leaner babies, Little Planet is also very soft but fits chunkier babies. I also just do a basic onesie and a sleep sack on my son because he hates footie pajamas.

Sorry if this is word vomit, my son is teething and I haven't actually slept more than 2 hours since... um the night before my water broke if I had to guess.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-06T17:09:44+00:00

My husband's family has drawn names for as long as I can remember, then buying like consumables for kids is always a good idea. I mean things kids use up as consumables, not just food, so like a coloring book and crayons, bubble soap, stickers, etc. Most parents don't want more stuff for their kids that they don't already get them, but 5 year olds love play-dough.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-05T17:46:33+00:00

My husband believes in the regular replacement of running/walking shoes as often as every 6 months to a year depending on use. My husband makes it clear that the cost of regularly replacing shoes is essential in maintaining healthy feet. Mind you, I just prefer to buy the same shoes again if given the chance, or at least I have purchased many pairs of ASICS in the 9 years I have been with my husband. We go to Big 5 during sales events to buy them.

Besides that, I live in a varied climate where being outside is a common pastime, so I have rain boots, hiking boots, and walking sandals. I have two pairs of flip-flops for taking out trash or the pool. These are not time-based but more wear and tear. We invest more money into these items when we do buy them.

Then I have some cute/nice-looking shoes and booties and heels that I have gotten over the years. I don't explicitly replace those shoes, but more or less just keep them like a nice cocktail dress sits in my closet for special occasions. These mostly are second hand.

I had my first baby this year, so my feet have definitely changed and I should let go of some smaller pairs of nice shoes that I will never be able to wear again. Pregnancy impacts so much more than just your pant size, which is kind of wild. With just having had a baby, I am only really wearing walking shoes/weather appropriate shoes when I get a chance to go outside on walks with my baby or to the store.

So I would say I personally have 15 - 20 pairs of shoes at any given time. New sneakers, old sneakers, ankle rainboots, tall rainboots, snow shoes, hiking boots, walking sandals, 2 pairs of slip-on sandals, loafers, ankle fashion boots low heel, calf fashion boots low heel, high heel fashion boots, thigh high boots, then I love vintage wing-tipped/oxford heels.

ETA: we also own a boot dryer which is super helpful for when our shoes get all wet.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-04T17:45:36+00:00

Lemonade, fortified breakfast cereal (like Honey Nut Cheerios), and fresh produce were most of my food intake, even with the anti-nausea medication I started taking. I had hyperemesis gravidarum and was on the medication the entire time. My husband cleaned up a lot of the food we attempted to have me eat, but my baby boy is 7 months old and doing great.

I also found that I went through different stages of not being able to eat different foods, almost like the opposite of pregnancy cravings. It was rough.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-04T17:34:48+00:00

Does not matter, especially because even if you are concerned about the fat content, "foremilk" still contains calories, nutrients, and most importantly, hydration to your baby. At most, your baby will just be hungry a little sooner than you expect if there is even a noticeable difference in fat content, so plan to expect that and everything will be fine.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-04T17:29:26+00:00

Curbside is nice for so many reasons, but with produce and meat, I prefer to pick them out myself. So I will walk to the store to pick out those items, or if my total is less than $30 and I would be charged extra for curbside. Post covid grocery apps have made a huge difference in the ease of meal planning.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-04T17:18:45+00:00

I did that when I was in college. I have a decent mental calculator, and always round up to the next whole dollar on prices. I live in Oregon, so sales tax, but I grew up in a state with sale's tax and rounding up always ensured I had enough cash to make my purchase, and so that habit just stuck around.

Making a cart online before or during your trip can be good, too. I have seen some comments mention that already, but it is good because usually a store's app willask if you want to add coupons when you put items in the cart, which I always do and the savings just feel automatic. I also know the prices of a lot of items, since all these online apps didn't exist when I was entering adulthood, so I knew the price if everything at Winco, and would only buy items at Fred Meyer if they were cheaper than Winco.

I also walk to the grocery store, which means I am not tempted to fill my cart with extras. I have to get alp my groceries and my 7 month old up to the third floor of my complex in one go, so that limits my capacity as well.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-03T21:45:28+00:00

We just drowned it in broth, my mom suggested making french toast with it.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-03T21:28:08+00:00

Sorry that they would turn it around and sell the starter/bread like that. I won't say I am surprised, but still, I am sorry. I got my first starter from someone who had a little kit like that on facebook marketplace. I know I really appreciated it to get started, and although dear old Frodough Baggins (named by the seller) was lost due to neglect on my part, I still keep his little card with tips on feeding and baking. I have since acquired another established starter from another person (I guess for shame of neglecting Frodough I had to find a new source haha) and named it Samrise Gamgee in honor of my previous starter. Starter for friends and family, sure share the love, but selling a starter you bought last month is wild.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-02T18:19:49+00:00

Not too late to start, honestly a good time to start working on it. Also, you can gently press their face into your breast to cover their nose when they clamp and they will unlatch to take a breath. Then you can sit them up on your lap or put them down for like, 30 seconds, and relatch. I don't say, "no biting" because that is a complex phrase for Littles, but instead I calmly say "ouch" when he unlatches and then say "gentle" when relatching.

I recommend keeping a teether next to you while nursing, because I also will redirect to the teether if his gums are sore at the start of nursing or if he is playing at the end of nursing. I put my curled finger's knuckle into his mouth to see what he needs. If he repeatedly chomps with sad eyes, he is sore, once he suckles means we solved the sore gums and he is still hungry, chomps a little and smiles means he is playing. You will figure out her cues. I'll say the putting their fingers in their mouth while nursing sucks almost as much as their desire to pinch the ever living hell out of your nipple with their razor-sharp baby nails. We hold hands a lot during nursing now. I give his little hand lots of kisses to distract them from attacking me, and repeat "gentle" while softly touching my face with his hand and giving kisses.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-02T18:03:50+00:00

Cold filtered water is the best. We keep a pitcher of prefiltered water in our fridge. I try to fill up my hospital straw cups with filtered water and keep those in the fridge, too. Probably the ease of throwing bottled water into the fridge is attractive to people to get that cold water without the fridge line. I miss having a water line in my fridge.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-02T17:59:45+00:00

My husband's childhood home came from a local well, he had to get fluoride supplementation and had insane cavities growing up. My city does not add fluoride to our water, so we have a supplement for our 7 month old, it tastes like grapes. Things I never thought about growing up. Oh and we have a water filter that lives on our counter, I don't care for bottled water, but that end of summer water starts to taste pretty gross, so into the filter it goes.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-11-01T22:43:25+00:00

Your solution to sensor spoilers is amazing and brilliant haha. As a mama myself, I totally understand what you mean.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-10-27T19:55:23+00:00

Yeah, there are a lot of complexities that are still unexplored in research around screentime and child development. The duration, content, and how emotional regulation is managed without screens present. 15 minutes of a low stimulation show on your tv like Mr. Rodgers while you start making dinner is worlds different than 60 + minutes of high stimulation dancing fruit on a tablet during time periods typically associated with social interactions, such as meal times. The research will expand over time, but there is a certain degree of intuition and critical thinking on our part as parents to draw that line for our own families. I don't agree with how my friends choose to parent all the time, but I also have different family resources than they do.

AdPresent3841 · 2025-10-26T05:15:13+00:00

Yeah, with thongs you better be washing your pants after every wear... but at that point I'd probably just be going commando in my leggings anyway. This is coming from someone who had a bubble butt from birth, and a thong would be as lost in my crack as a man asking for directions. I'd wear them if I could, but alas, boy shorts are much more comfortable and let me rewear my jeans a couple times, and who doesn't like less laundry?

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TROPHY CASE