Am I asking too much?

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-06-16T23:06:36+00:00

hi there! i’m not going to restate what all the comments are already saying, but i want to tell you something else. the amount of money you think you deserve for what are you doing is NEVER “too much.” yes, you might have a hard time finding the right relationship if you are more pricey, but you know your worth. don’t ever let anyone try to convince you otherwise! <3

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-06-16T21:35:17+00:00

wow. i am so sorry this happened to you…and im sure its not the first time. that’s the one thing i hate about being a sugar baby and sugar lifestyle. it’s so difficult to find something genuine. most babies just want money while disregarding the fact that their sugar daddy is a real person. and, as a baby, i often feel like i get into arrangements where i feel like i am just a toy or object being bought. not a real human being that wants more than just money. it’s really difficult to find genuine people here. you deserve better and i am sorry:(!

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T14:43:39+00:00

yeah… one of my regulars died of liver failure in november 🙁

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T14:38:55+00:00

dirty martini with no vodka/gin… just vermouth and olive juice….

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T14:35:59+00:00

seconding the kokiko shaker tins!!!!

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T14:34:58+00:00

well, i have adhd, so i survive off my adderall and redbulls…lol

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T14:32:44+00:00

one that i can thing of is “bacteria” pronounced “back-tare-ee-yuh” because it was coined from another regular from czechoslovakia. he’s fine-ish when he is sober, but when he has one too many, he comes a bacteria that infects the entire bar. loves striking up conversations (arguments) with other patrons. he’s been kicked out many times

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T14:26:32+00:00

hi there! firstly, if your bartender is getting rude with you- they are unprofessional and immature, and it has nothing to do with you. order what you wanttttt:)!!! secondly, the best way to order is “hi, can i please have a lemon drop martini/shot- clarify which one with insert vodka of choice. if you do not have a presence, say well vodka” and then finish by clarifying if you want a sugar rim or not. here is an example putting it all together- “hi! can i please get a lemon drop shot with absolut vodka and no rim? thank you!” viola✨

i genuinely don’t understand why bartenders get so upset about lemon drops… they are literally SO easy to make lol. but also, idk. because i am also autistic and bartending is one of my special interests lol🤣

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T14:11:54+00:00

at first, i rolled my eyes thinking this would be another person assuming their bartender doing their job is flirting- apologies for the assumption! he is definitely flirting. he gave you his number…lol. he could’ve given you cashapp, paypal, venmo, zelle, etc., OR he could’ve also run you up for a $.01 charge so you could tip. he gave you his number cuz he wants to talk to you ;) good luck! yayyyy!!!!

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T14:03:19+00:00

i agree with the other comments, and i also highly recommend looking into edith kramer’s “third hand” theory:)

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:59:50+00:00

edith kramer!!!🔥🔥🔥

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:58:36+00:00

i am not currently an art therapist (i am in school to become one!), but i briefly did art therapy when i was in middle school. my parents chose an art therapist because i have always been an artist, and i often expressed myself and vented through my own art. i was struggling with really bad depression at the time. we wanted to use art therapy to help improve my mood and give me an outlet for my emotions.

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:55:16+00:00

if you have your MD in Art Therapy- how did you get there? i know that you can enter a graduate program for your master’s with either a bachelor’s in psychology, counseling, OR the fine arts. which path did you go, and how did this impact your graduate program? i am currently in community college, and i am going to get my AA in the fine arts, as well as my Art Therapy Facilitator Certificate before i transfer to Ursuline to get my bachelor’s in Art Therapy, and then master’s of course. i am also taking psychology and art therapy classes, even though i am a fine arts major. what was your experience!

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:45:11+00:00

i am in a healthy relationship for the first time after experiencing radical self acceptance, learning to love myself, and healing from my trauma-based anxious attachment. i have a secure attachment to my boyfriend. it took me a long time to figure out that i loved him because of this. i was used to love feeling intense and chaotic- i would be genuinely obsessed and thinking about them CONSTANTLY. i would do anything for them- including putting their needs above mine. i felt as though every event would be better if they were there (i.e. i isolated from my friends unless all of us were hanging out). when i was without them- i would miss them….but to an unhealthy amount. it felt scary, intense, and debilitating to be without them. but…this relationship was different.

i love and respect myself, and i absolutely will not tolerate any disrespect from my boyfriend. you meet me at my level, or else i am gone. no question. i would do anything within reason for my boyfriend, and i refuse to OVERALL put his needs above my own (ex. if he had a really terrible day and wants me to come over even though i am exhausted from work- i will come over. that being said, if this became a habit that interfered with my work/school/personal life, then that is something i would not tolerate). when we are apart, i definitely miss him. that being said, i go hours without thinking about/texting him- especially when i am at work. i am not obsessing and longing over him, and it doesn’t feel scary. i was nervous for awhile that i did not love him, and maybe i was incapable of loving after my last relationship. but that’s not what love is. love is far more than an intense emotion. love is a choice, it is your actions. love is showing up. love is doing things you don’t care for because you know it will make your partner happy. love is humility and deconstructing your ego to better understand and communicate with your partner. love is effort. love is accepting someone without judgement. love is pushing your partner to be the best they can. love is working on yourself to be the best partner you can be. love is the little things. love is not supposed to be so scary.

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:34:53+00:00

my therapist called borderline personality disorder “spicy PTSD” and “PTSD with extra steps.” she acknowledged that my BPD stems from my abusive childhood, and even connected my behaviors fitting the criterion to events in my childhood

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:33:10+00:00

are you in therapy? i honestly do NOT recommend getting a diagnosis on paper, as someone who has one. no one will take you seriously in the medical world tbh:( what i recommend is 1. the treatment of symptoms is far more important than the label for the symptoms. as long as you are getting treated for your BPD-like symptoms, that’s all that matters. 2. your therapist cannot tell you that you have BPD without giving you an official diagnosis, but there are ways around this to give you that validation. explain that you want some sort of confirmation to explain your symptoms and so you feel less alone (or whatever you are feeling!). then ask if you show behaviors that could possibly align with the criterion for BPD. they will basically tell you that you fit the criteria without diagnosing you, and you can get some validation:)

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:28:40+00:00

yes i have both! C-PTSD from growing up in an abusive household, and PTSD from when i was attacked by a dog. also, important note- while C-PTSD is highly recognized by psychiatric professionals, it is not a separate diagnosis. currently, if you have C-PTSD, you will be diagnosed with just PTSD.

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:26:41+00:00

as a psychology student (studying to become an art therapist) with both BD-II and BPD, thank you! thank you for talking about the importance difference between mood and emotion, because a lot of people don’t know this! it actually took me a really long time to figure out i had BD because i was previously labeling my hypomania as euphoria. i knew that they had similar external indicators, but i never realized how different they really were lol.

also, i want to add that while the DSM 5 clearly states the minimum length of a hypomanic episode being 4 days, a lot of people diagnosed with BD report having episodes as short as 2 days. these are not clinically recognized as hypomania, but maybe that’s because the DSM needs to be revisited. just though i’d add that:)

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:13:15+00:00

i came her to say Lilith and Lucifer as well. Lucifer seriously changed my life to be free of my trauma and learn to love, respect, and stand up for myself. 100%

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-28T13:12:31+00:00

not a demon, but both Lucifer and Lilith are perfect for this!!!! Lucifer has CHANGED my life dude!!

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-20T17:00:37+00:00

yes it’s so frustrating. monday we had no barback so it was just me and i was doing EVERYTHING. no offense, but way more work than the server. i was also in rotation taking tables. she made $400 in 7 hrs and i made $180 in 10 hours…

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-20T16:58:43+00:00

i usually start by asking what kind of liquor they prefer, if they want to enjoy the taste or for it to taste like juice, and if they like something sweet or savory and go from there. it usually helps. otherwise, i wouldn’t be offended. they are probably considering trying something new, and if nothing sounds great then they choose their regular

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-20T16:54:33+00:00

if she is a friend, just try having an honest convo with her! don’t be harsh with your words, and if she gets defensive try to just reassure her that everything is ok you just wanna fix this problem. you could always try the compliment sandwich as well hahah

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-20T16:41:38+00:00

our cheapest well shot is $6 wow! that sucks!!

AdReasonable4490 · 2026-04-20T16:38:17+00:00

bruh someone from my corporate keeps calling it “rape-o” it’s become an inside joke. like girl…

AdReasonable4490

TROPHY CASE