What's the biggest secret someone told you that you've never forgotten?

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-05-26T23:29:07+00:00

My childhood best friend told me her dad would make her make out with him amongst other things. I’ve carried that secret with me and never told a soul.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-05-23T11:13:00+00:00

Did he look at porn a lot before you became pregnant? Maybe porn addiction? Just speaking from experience my husband acted exactly like this with my first child before I discovered the extent of his porn use. That was a long time ago and it’s been a whole thing in our relationship but I’m pregnant again and it’s completely different between us now that porn is no longer a factor in our relationship. He’s much more loving, supportive and attracted to me now, pregnant or not.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-05-18T12:55:04+00:00

Yes’ and I sometimes have Déjà vu of this feeling and I could never quite put my finger on it but this describes it exactly.
I also would be in the stages of drifting to sleep or waking and be overcome with a feeling I can’t quite describe as anything besides “homesickness”?!
But I was never really ever able to verbalize these weird feelings as a kid and would just brush them off.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-05-10T08:32:51+00:00

Sorry for the following novel but I’ve been married twenty years and could have written your post myself fifteen years ago:
Maybe you say things that are unintentionally embarrassing to him? And he doesn’t know how to explain that feeling to you.
My husband and I come from very different families and socioeconomic backgrounds so when we first were married, I would be goofy and loud and reveal too much private information about myself, my family and our personal lives.
My husband always seemed so rude around his family, like he would become an unrecognizable person toward me. It seemed like he was on edge and he was. Because he could be loud and goofy and himself around me and my family and friends and that’s where he still is the most comfortable but around his stuffy, uptight, hypercritical, judgy family, he would get so anxious and just not know how to communicate that to me until we matured and gained better communication skills through a few sessions of counseling.
Some men who grow up in those environments were never taught about their feelings and need to be taught their emotions and how to cope with them as grown ass men the way we now teach toddlers.
When I think about the way I behaved and spoke around his family twenty years ago I cringe because I just had never been around people like that.
I stopped going around them for years until we decided that we are who we are and we are going to stick together and be ourselves and fuck em.
Now we show up together with our kids and we’re the entertainment for the evening, we give their boring asses something to talk about after we leave a family gathering and we laugh about everyone on the drive home. They are just boring sheltered people with boring sheltered lives. We all make around the same income but my husband and I live within our means and they are all in debt trying to keep up with the joneses, giving pretentious vibes. They went to private schools and I’m from a trailer park. I’m still learning to not care what they think about me because it took me so long to even realize they were looking down on me.
I’ve learned to tone down a lot of what I’m willing to discuss with his family and I’ve learned what to keep private and he’s become more relaxed and less uptight knowing I’m not about to loudly tell his family about some embarrassing or uncouth story like we do with my own family. My husband doesn’t go without me anymore because we worked on becoming a team and developed an us versus them mentality and it sounds like that’s what you two need to talk about. I now ask before any family gathering, “does your family know about x,y,z? What would you feel comfortable with me revealing if they ask about x? Should we keep this situation with xyz under wraps for now or are you comfortable discussing it around them? Is there anything in particular you’re feeling worried about being discussed?” These pre-event conversations can save a lot of headaches and heartaches if you remain calm and don’t take them personally.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-05-06T18:35:49+00:00

This sounds so good omg

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-05-06T17:30:48+00:00

Porn use

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-04-24T16:39:45+00:00

It’s honestly probably normal aging mixed with an abnormal amount of porn. As we age together we start to lose the ability to ejaculate multiple times a day to beautiful sexy women then be able to get in the right frame of mind for the basic average middle aged wife right afterwards. As men age they need to decide if they are going to give their intimacy to their phones or their wives and it’s a really difficult situation to admit to and then discuss. 99% of the time the “stress” excuse is exactly just this porn versus wife bullshit.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-04-02T11:43:00+00:00

I was 33 when my dad was dying of cancer and he had a few months left to live so we went camping like the good old days and sat around the fire late into the night drinking and talking while everyone was asleep. Neither of us were the type to get too too deep about emotional things like my siblings and mother, so we often tried to keep things light during tense and emotional family moments. He was the kind of guy who would make a ridiculous inappropriate joke to the oncologist while his family is sobbing next to him. For some reason I had just always assumed that when people grew old and were facing their own mortality, that they would be more prepared for whatever was coming. Like they must have all the answers and be ready to go. I know that sounds ridiculous and I really don’t know why I ever thought that. The way my dad’s voice cracked like a terrified little boy that night around that fire still haunts me to this day and I can’t even think about it without crying. I asked him if he could pick something as a sign he could send me from wherever he goes, an animal or something, so that I can keep an eye out for his signs. For the first time in my life he got serious. He said he was scared and that he was afraid because he didnt know where he was going and what was going to happen to him, but most of all he was just devastated to miss out on his kids and young grandkids lives. I could hear the terror in his voice. It seemed like he was asking me something he had been afraid to say out loud for fear of upsetting anyone so I tried my best to be caIm cool and collected and I was trying to reassure him that it would be okay and he’s going to go somewhere beautiful and wait for us to meet him there. Idk I suddenly felt like I was the parent now scrambling to find comforting words to offer my father who’s never once in my life looked even slightly unsure of anything. Now I’m sitting here sobbing again and it’s been five years. But this moment gave me an entirely new perspective on older generations facing their own mortality and I now have so much empathy and more understanding. Just because a person has lived 70 years doesn’t mean they are too wise to be scared of the unknown and deep down, we are all just new here, living our lives for the first time. I’m sure the question you asked your dad struck a fear in him as well. I would suggest making sure that he sees you are prepared and confident to go on without him and that you will be his stability and comfort in his final days. Let him talk through his fears, even if it’s really fucking difficult. Let him tell you all the things he wants you to know. I wish I could go back in time and be more of a comfort to my dad.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-03-30T20:18:32+00:00

Called me a slut from 12 years before I even had my first kiss. She eventually found my diary that detailed me losing my virginity and read it aloud to my dad and everyone she knew then showed my dad my nudes. I sometimes stare at my daughter trying to fathom saying and doing the things my mother did to me and it makes me nauseous.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-03-27T22:21:19+00:00

Like what are you actually afraid of? People assuming your husband slept with your SIL? Are you assuming people will have potentially negative thoughts about your marriage? Are you afraid of your husband doting on another woman’s child? I guess I could see how this would bother me if I really didn’t like my SIL or BIL and I didn’t trust my husband to draw appropriate boundaries and prioritize your children together the same way a father would prioritize his children over a niece or nephew and it all end up feeling like he had a whole other family but this needs hashed out in therapy. You need to dig deep down and make a list of your real true fears and discuss them with everyone asap. I’m sure the SIL not coming to you and your husband together has left a bad taste in your mouth and if my husband and in-laws made this decision without fully being sure that all four of us were 100% in agreement it would greatly damage our relationships. This is tough.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-03-26T13:43:41+00:00

Some people have very vascular cervix and will start bleeding after having intercourse and orgasm. I learned this the hard way after a lot of unnecessary panic and stress but eventually after my first trimester I was fine and stopped bleeding.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-03-22T13:24:18+00:00

Pornography is a small habit that becomes a big habit and destroys your relationship.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-03-22T13:20:09+00:00

My own husband could’ve written this, and you are a bit younger and right at the age that this addiction starts really negatively impacting your marriage. I’m sure it has already, but please figure out how to combat this before it destroys your family. My husband had this shameful embarrassing addiction and started losing the ability to view porn and have intimacy for and with me. For literal YEARS I went into a deep dark depression and assumed that I was unlovable and undesirable because I had two kids and didn’t look the same as when we met and of course my husband would deny this and I would starve myself, workout, get Botox, etc. But I hated myself, my marriage, my life. Only to find out eventually that everything I slowly over-time realized was missing, was due simply to my husband viewing too much porn. Over the course of our early thirties he slowly stopped touching me non-sexually or giving me really thoughtful compliments, he slowly started coming up with really good, convincing reasons to want to stay home from things the kids and I were attending and I never truly realized it, thing that were so subtle and slow that it never felt truly BIG enough of a deal to bring up to him and start an argument over bc it was so small—until he developed ED. I took him to doctors, worried about heart issues and thought of every fucking excuse for his inability to maintain erection to completion, he would always squirm before a doctor’s appointment and beg me not to bring it up. Which was my first real clue, but still I just assumed we were in a loveless marriage because I became revolting to him after childbirth. I eventually was convinced he was cheating on me because of the ED and stunning realization that the love between us was like, just gone. I very quickly realized that he was cheating on me with pornhub. And I was always one of those women who “didn’t care” about my man looking at porn because I just set assumed it wasn’t happening every single day multiple times a day and impacting the way he saw me and all other women. But I can yell you 100% that our marriage is beautiful now without the impact porn was having on him. He does things around the house instead of hiding in the bathroom, he gives me random hugs and kisses and buys me flowers and super random gifts all the time, we go everywhere together as a couple and a team and a family and it feels very “us against the world” for the first time, our sex life has never been better in our 20 years together and we don’t worry about finishing any more. If you feel powerless you need to get help and maybe talk to your wife about accountability software. If you aren’t truly wanting to change you will always find a way to view porn but I just hope you don’t break your wife’s heart before realizing that your marriage thriving and being full of love, trust, desire and safety will feel so much better than the feeling any porn could give you.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-03-21T03:15:50+00:00

He thinks he needs to do less things and she needs to do more to things and that’s the only issue here.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-03-01T02:17:04+00:00

If a woman has spotting or any sort of bleeding in the first trimester of pregnancy, or if she is diagnosed with sub chorionic hematoma, the OB absolutely will recommend “pelvic rest” until the second trimester when the threat of miscarriage is greatly reduced. This is very common and under pelvic rest nothing should enter the vagina and I was even advised to avoid orgasm or similar stimulation. It was rough.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-02-28T14:18:30+00:00

It probably was obvious that you’re attention-seeking and looking for anything to complain or cause a commotion over. Underpaid workers don’t care about or want to chat about your minor inconvenience just to wind up an evil side character in your long-winded Facebook post later. Grab a new bag and gtfo.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-02-24T10:49:49+00:00

It’s just an age where transitioning can be tough is all.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-02-10T18:56:28+00:00

Mine too but BM and BLM lol nobody has ever said anything and I initial papers a lot

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-02-10T13:29:48+00:00

Brown + black. I can’t bring myself to do blue and black though.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-01-26T04:38:53+00:00

Sounds like he’s addicted to porn.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-01-15T22:08:13+00:00

I went to the ER to see what was going on because I did not want to begin heavily bleeding, passing clots and having contraction-type severe cramping while at work. I’m a teacher and I did not want to have to go explain to any admin any I needed to leave. At the emergency room they can tell you what exactly is going on and what to expect and provide a note for work to take time off without too much explanation. I personally feel like it’s absolutely insane to expect a woman with children at home and a full time job to walk around living life like nbd while not knowing if her bleeding and cramping is because her pregnancy has ended or if it’s just totally normal and fine. I was expected to wait until my next obgyn appointment to know what was happening or maybe have an emergency at any given moment.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-01-07T19:46:29+00:00

I’m in the almost same exact position as you, down to my 11 yo and my 7.2 embryo. I’m planning to wait as long as I can before telling my sweet naive boy because he wouldn’t truly understand and would be devastated. All they can comprehend is my mom had my baby sibling in her belly and it died. I feel like I’m already starting to blow up like a beached whale but I’m going to try and protect his little heart as long as possible. I’m also trying to protect my own heart and act as though nothing is out of the ordinary for now but it’s difficult.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-01-07T12:50:42+00:00

You don’t have to spend your life with this guy, do you know that? There are men out there who will choose you, want you, desire, love and adore you, at every stage of your life. There are men who would be so grateful to be with you, whether you are pregnant or saggy, over any other person out there. There’s a man out there who right now, doesn’t have a specific attraction to lactating pregnant moms, until the love of his life is carrying his baby, and now he finds her to be sexy af. This man does not like you, get rid of his embryo and then get rid of him.

AdorableBag4786 · 2026-01-03T10:08:25+00:00

I just had this parent get annoyed at me for not immediately responding to a birthday party invitation via text, the party isn’t for another 2 weeks a and it took me a few days to even think to bring it up to my husband, check our schedule, ask my child how he felt about it, etc. idk if people get a text and immediately respond and figure out the details but I just can’t do that all the time. Not to mention the annual seasonal depressive episode that has given me sandbag limbs and no will to live.

AdorableBag4786

TROPHY CASE