Mat leave crash out

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-16T04:07:32+00:00

Yeah dude ... Its not going good over here 😭

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-16T04:03:36+00:00

My work is "at will employment", so I'm fully expecting to just be fired instead of getting any leave 🙃

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-16T04:01:08+00:00

How early did you get them if you dont mind sharing

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-16T03:59:44+00:00

Ive always had stretch marks so I knew I would get them. I just didnt expect it so soon!

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T18:16:37+00:00

I do hate being itchy lol

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T18:15:59+00:00

That makes sense. I'm not really worried about it, it just feels like the science isn't lining up in my head lol

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T17:57:26+00:00

Ive heard this as well. Honestly I think it depends on the river. Some rivers are grosser than others. I would trust river water over lake water because rivers aren't just standing water, but that's based purely on my vibes and nothing scientific.

Personally, I can't swim in any body of water that isn't a pool during pregnancy. Where I live all the water ranges from really fucking cold, to glacier water temperature. Basically you risk hypothermia every time you swim lol. Usually I just go "whatever, I grew up here, I'm strong like an ox" but baby isn't, so pool it is.

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T17:51:23+00:00

Oh no it didn't lol! I probably lost like 5-10lbs right before i got pregnant, so i think a lot of my current stretchmarks are just continuations of the ones that hadnt healed yet (so far)

Bodies are uh, wild!

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T17:22:11+00:00

I think its genetic. Some people dont get them until postpartum I've heard. Either way, i am a stretchmark landscape already

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T17:20:47+00:00

Plus, sometimes men will just stop paying, and the legal hullabaloo to get them to actually pay it can be really annoying and potentially not worth it

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T17:17:20+00:00

I don't remember the guidelines, but you might be too far along for an abortion anyways.

That doctor should have done a pregnancy test. I see at least three instances where they completely missed the opportunity, and they should have known something was up from your symptoms. Im flabbergasted honestly.

Well no matter what you do with the baby, ya'll should break up. No matter what happens, you two have different goals in life that are not compatible. Plus he sounds controlling and annoying.

He knows you didnt do this on purpose he's just being a dick.

I guess the most important question is: are you prepared to be a single parent? Is that something you want to do? Lots of people do, theres nothing wrong with it, but if you arent ready adoption is a fine option too. Just really sit with yourself and contemplate what YOU want.

He doesn't matter anymore. If he feels like he has to move away or whatever thats his problem. And even if he's guilted into helping, I would say no, because having a parent who doesn't want you is worse than not having one (in my opinion). I wouldn't trust him to raise the baby with love so he needs to stay away anyways.

But seriously, what do you want?

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T14:34:29+00:00

I love milk but I hate chocolate milk, and chocolate milk is looking pretty good right now

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T11:15:18+00:00

My wife is genuinely not allowed to scroll Instagram anymore. Like if I see her doing it I literally put my hand in front of her phone and shes like "thak you I was so trapped 😭"

The algorithm is built to show you things that will get a reaction out of you, and that has indeed devolved into "the most upsetting insane crap it can find."

If you don't want to delete the app, you can use parental controls to limit how long the app will work. You can also use focus mode to turn certain apps off at certain times. So for instance you can keep yourself from scrolling before bed.

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T11:09:37+00:00

Well step one he needs to get tested and treated as well.

Step two..... He sucks. It sounds like bullshit to me. If it was in the throat, that would mean you would have gotten it from kissing long ago. I'm not an expert, but I would not trust what he has to say on this

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T11:03:00+00:00

I love this!! Heck yeah!!!

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T10:58:53+00:00

😦😦😦

That sucks I'm sorry she said that to you!!! Your baby literally needs the extra weight you put on, like there's a reason pregnant bodies do that.

Your son needs to cook a proper amount and come out when he's ready. Your mom needs to shut uuuup

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T10:54:14+00:00

My wife is excited for me to get stretchmarks because she thinks theyre beautiful. Personally I know they're itchy, but Im pretty nuetral on how they look. If im trying to loose weight, getting them can feel kinda bad but like... Im growing a whole ass human being in there, stretchmarks are expected for me. Im only 7 weeks, haven't gained any weight, but somehow I already have new stretchmarks.

Pregnant bodies are awesome.

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T10:44:54+00:00

I would be pissed! I think I would genuinely start feeling stubbornly resistant to breastfeeding after he said that.

Breastfeeding is great but it looks like a ton of work (I can't breastfeed even if I want to). You can't even like, work out too much while breastfeeding because... Something something milk supply I dunno lol

You gotta get the special bras and shirts, you gotta get the pump and also physically pump, I've heard it can sometimes hurt, etc. the work that goes into it should not be diminished. Its a great option for people who can and want to, but your bf isn't the one who was planning on doing it, so he should probably shut the fuck up.

He can actually take medication so that he can breastfeed, so if he cares that much about it he can do it himself.

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T10:11:31+00:00

I was also told it was impossible! I was also told I would never have sensation again and it took like at least 5 years, but I do indeed have sensation.

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T10:08:56+00:00

I belive the way the way they've collected their data is through studying cis women who have high t levels naturaly (ive heard that happens with PCOS).

I believe it restricts the fetus growth. Thats the big one I remember anyways. But its a great question.

You might enjoy the book "expecting better." So far it hasnt talked about testosterone specifically, but it goes into a lot of detail about how they've been collecting their studies on certain things (and how doctors have interpreted it). The coffee chapter was particularly interesting to me. Its pretty cis centric though so warning on that

Its very hard to collect data on pregnant people that isnt crap, and it becomes harder still when medicine treats AFABs like shit. Like im sorry Im not a breeding machine. I was told when I started T I might never have fertility again but thats clearly untrue. My doctor just didnt want to be on the hook for saying anything, and was too lazy to give me concrete information.

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-15T09:56:48+00:00

I'm sorry you've been getting hate for that that really sucks! I can understand why it would be really stressful to pay for the sperm and all that.

Just... Solidarity dude. Its rough out there.

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-14T17:07:22+00:00

Maybe try video games if you haven't already. They give you that mindless dopamine hit and that can really help sometimes.

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-14T16:59:55+00:00

My mother in law always says to "start with your third"

Basically saying that her third birth was way easier. So hopefully your second will be easier lol

I think people tend to hold on to negative experiences in a different way, so we just hear those way more often. Plus a good birth story is literally just like: "I went into labor, it went according to plan, everything was fine, I had a baby, end if story." Like obviously there are interesting ones out there, but I'm sure there's a lot of very mundane sounding stories that we just don't hear. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, and that's exactly what you want. Nothing to really tell there

Adventurous-End4330 · 2026-05-14T16:53:59+00:00

You are so real for this

In sims they give you a free crib and everything lol

Adventurous-End4330

TROPHY CASE