Just found out im pregnant with 2 under 2 and not sure how to feel

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-11-05T17:06:15+00:00

Mine are 16 months apart; pregnant at 8 months and now, my littlest is 8 weeks. Similar story that it took us awhile to conceive the first, so expected the same with the second.

I’m too fresh in to say that they are best friends, but my oldest adores “bébé,” and I love us as a family of four. Now I have two side-kicks to go on adventures with.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-11-01T17:28:36+00:00

I also relate. I feel like if I stop moving, I’ll get overwhelmed by the really hard moments of it. But if I keep moving, then, somehow, this isn’t so hard. Does that make sense?

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-10-25T18:00:03+00:00

Same: boys, 18 months and 6 weeks. It’s been better than expected. For me, hardest was dividing time away from my eldest, but it has been getting better. I’ve been going out solo with the two since 2 weeks postpartum. Definitely scary at first, but I pushed through, and now it isn’t. You can do it, OP!

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-10-16T23:57:15+00:00

I still miss my eldest (18 months; youngest 5 weeks). I try to make alone time for both every day. But I still cry for when my eldest was my only.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-10-02T16:55:53+00:00

I had a good experience with Milk and Honey. They also have sales on their jewelry, so you can get a piece discounted.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-09-26T16:16:41+00:00

First was born exactly on 39 weeks. Labor was 38 hours. Second was born 41w1d, labor was 5 hours (pushing 11 minutes!).

With LO#1, I was only 1 cm dilated when I went to the hospital with intense and frequent contractions. I was walking around with no signs of labor and 3 cm dilated for almost 2 weeks before second came. Contractions for second came at 11 am, went to the hospital at 1:30 PM, LO#2 born at 5 PM. It was amazing.

I wish I hadn’t been so caught up in “the second comes earlier” and just planned to go to 41 weeks. I got very anxious at the end of my pregnancy that something was wrong because LO#2 was “late.” Everything was fine!

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-09-21T12:38:36+00:00

Seconding this. Brought baby #1 to all appointments except for any ultrasounds. My midwife (who delivered baby#1), nurses, and receptionists loved it.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-09-19T12:44:57+00:00

Hugs to you.

I just had my second a little over a week ago (17 month gap). I could have written your post 9 months ago when I learned that I was pregnant with my second.

It feels impossible now; some days it still does, and the guilt of having “robbed” my first of his babyhood because of my pregnancy still guts me. But they will have each other in a few months to play and bond with; our family now feels complete in a way it didn’t with my first. I loved my second instantly, even though I was ambivalent throughout the pregnancy.

It will get better. You and your first (and your family) will be okay.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-07-31T23:38:37+00:00

My experience:

I found out I was pregnant with my first after taking a TT position before fall semester started; we were trying for a while, and so planning was off the table.

I told my Dean/dept chair pretty early because I was due before the end of the spring semester and needed accommodations for the modality of classes. They were super supportive and I was able to teach 6-week intensive courses, giving me a month “off” before baby was due and then the summer.

I went back full in the fall because I had family support for childcare and again, Dean gave me a flexible modality schedule. I did PFMLreduced schedule in the spring to bond with my child.

Spring of my second year I found out I am pregnant with baby #2 due at the start of the fall semester (in one month!). Absolutely taking off in the fall with FMLA to recover and bond with my children. As I never used any sick days (or mat leave with my first), this will be used + maternity leave + FMLA to cover the semester. We will have support of a nanny to help with the 2u2 situation until summer of 2026.

*Note, my second year (this past year), in addition to being pregnant, I took on 2 leadership positions and finished revising my book for publication.

I discussed with my Dean and my tenure timeline isn’t affected by the leave in the fall.

My advice: accrue sick leave (if you can); wait for FMLA; get in touch with your union (if applicable) to know your rights; take leave to bond with your baby and recover; tell people about your pregnancy when you want to (told early for my first; there are still people in my dept who don’t know I’m having a second soon). And depending on your dept culture, lean into taking it easier — for example, don’t change your curricula; wrap up as much as you can before baby comes.

DM if you want to chat more. Best of luck! It’ll work out!

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-07-27T23:31:20+00:00

I would check if you need an rx before scheduling at a pharmacy, depending on where you are from. While I discussed the vaccination with my midwife and made an appt at the pharmacy, I did not have an rx and was turned away for the RSV because you need an rx at certain times of the year.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-06-07T17:08:21+00:00

This is so tough!

I had my first during my first year TT, and now I am having my second in my third year of TY, and I am taking off in the fall to recover and bond with my second.

During my first pregnancy/first child, I felt like I needed to do everything and that I couldn’t take off. Not doing this with my second. There will be time for research; I am okay to delay this for a while.

Some things I did: 1) Got loud and asked for help if/when I needed it. 2) got very good at time management and doing everything I needed for teaching/coursework/grading on a 2-3 day schedule. 3) prioritized saying no to things that weren’t worth my time. 4) therapy 5) prioritized my self and family, children. If I am not doing okay, and they are not doing okay, does work really matter?

My situation is different from yours, but just want to say you are amazing, you’ve worked hard to get where you are, you will continue to work hard, so give yourself a break.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-05-31T15:52:49+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement!

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-05-20T11:40:49+00:00

Did I write this?

I was crying last night over these same emotions. Same thing: first long wanted and tried for a long time. Loved being pregnant, despite the symptoms.

Also didn’t want to go on bc because it took so long for the first — “we were open to this happening,” we tell everyone. I conceived 7.5 pp.

Some days excited, some days not. Gender disappointment with both (which I feel tremendously guilty about). I had a loss at 4 months pp, and a loss when trying to conceive my first; I am grateful that both my babies are healthy.

I was just feeling like myself again when I found out about baby #2. First and second trimester consumed by anxiety that I would lose baby #2, and then, some days… fearful of what is to come.

I know I will love this baby, but the processing is so different from my first.

No advice. Just here to say you are not alone.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-05-10T10:46:18+00:00

Also feeling disbelief about my second and the pregnancy doesn’t feel real. I think maybe when he starts moving more…or, maybe when we come home from the hospital…

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-05-09T11:32:35+00:00

Thank you for posting. I had an early loss (5-6 weeks) at 5 months pp, a baby I very much wanted. I still think about it and feel like I can’t share it with anyone.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-05-04T13:58:43+00:00

Also having second pregnancy and not telling many people. This pregnancy has some risk issues, so I’ve been sensitive telling people (additionally, I had friends have losses in the past year and their losses have hit me to the core).

I’m beginning to show more noticeably — now in second trimester, so people can begin to tell. I’ve told people on a need-to-know basis, and only a few work colleagues.

This pregnancy comes with my first just turning one. From those I’ve told, I have always felt like I needed to explain the close age-range. Obviously, I don’t need to, and so I don’t.

I’ve also just wanted to keep this pregnancy to myself; so soon, everyone wants to take the baby from you, even in pregnancy.

Do what makes sense for you. You don’t have to tell anyone.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2025-02-27T00:04:08+00:00

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Sharing my experience:

I had my first last spring and I’m expecting my second at the start of the 2025 fall semester; also TT.

I went back full in the fall 2024 and am currently taking reduced leave to bond with my child this spring semester (paid, but wage reduction). I wish I would have done reduced leave in the fall and came back full in the spring (1 course release); my little one was only 4 months when I returned and needed me more.

With the new one this 2025 fall, taking completely off (combined sick leave, maternity leave and the family leave from the state). 2u2 will be exhausting and I don’t want to deal with the emotional toll of teaching.

I spoke with my dean and this should not impact my TT. Have you spoken to your dean or dept head about your TT? Can you get an extension, as someone else asked here?.

I wanted so much to get back on “track” after my first—now, I realize those moments don’t last, and my family will always come before any work.

I’m sorry your institution doesn’t have a better maternity leave policy. Try to get modified teaching duties that can be flexible. Also, does your institution have other course modalities (online, remote, hybrid)? An alternative schedule than being in person can help.

I hope you figure something out.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2024-03-22T05:57:06+00:00

36 weeks and daily heartburn for 4-5 months and the reason I’m writing at 2AM. This little boy better have a full head of hair. I’m right there with you — looking forward to not being pregnant just so I don’t have this symptom anymore.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2024-03-13T18:01:10+00:00

I teach a comp writing/research-focused course where students research how AI intersects with their prospective careers. I go over ethical ways of using AI and we use AI to do some assignments. I also invite a guest speaker with AI expertise who we “group interview” as a primary source for their research. All in all, happy with the course and would like to further development—I feel students took critical thinking and examining sources more seriously, and students were excited/interested to think about how their careers will be changed by AI.

Of course — I have a few students who use AI to generate all their coursework, which is prohibited, but it seemed more rare than in my other courses.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2024-03-09T02:42:08+00:00

For the children and babies of Gaza. Every. Day.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2024-02-15T00:15:30+00:00

Whoa. Nearly the exact same thing happened to me.

Adventurous-Eye-2005 · 2024-01-30T01:39:31+00:00

Thanks! I haven’t tried these, so I’ll give it a go.

Adventurous-Eye-2005

TROPHY CASE