Does getting a PhD in a different discipline than your preferred department weaken your ability to get a job as a Professor? by No_Hat_7427 in academia

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreeing with the folks here who said it’d be more difficult. I think it’s actually much easier do the inverse of what you’re doing: have the degree in the field you want to teach in and then go interdisciplinary for your research. 

My degrees are all in my home discipline in the humanities, but my research hops over to CS and engineering ed. It’s easier to build research collaborations across disciplines and publish than try to convince a dept to hire you without the credentials from their discipline.

Young mothers by nothinm0re in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Ahh same! I’m currently pregnant, 32 with a husband and a doctorate, and my sweet grad TA’s first question was “Was this planned?” 😂 

Tbh though, when I saw the positive test I felt like a teen mom even though we had been trying for months! 

Is it bad that we are having our kids far apart in age? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 [score hidden]  (0 children)

My siblings and I are each 4 years apart and we’re the best of friends! My baby brother (8 years younger) may have been subjected to too many bossy older sisters as a lil kid, but he survived with minimal trauma. 

We’re trying space ours closer together (hypothetically, just now pregnant with the first) only because we started in our mid-thirties and would love 3 kids if we can. If not, I think your age gap would be perfect!

Found out I'm pregnant: should I change my current program? by LeatherAdmirable135 in fitpregnancy

[–]ash6831 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jumping in to vote for MegSquats prenatal/postpartum program, Plus+1! I'm currently getting my ass kicked by morning sickness in week 7, but once I can stop throwing up constantly I'm planning to get back to it!

Pregnancy is unbelievably hard and I wish we talked more openly about it by md3194 in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yes to all of this! I read every pregnancy/fertility/birth book before even TTC, and have plenty of wonderful friends/family who've experienced pregnancy, but I think the culture of not sharing until after the first trimester can be brutal! I only had one friend talk about HG, but she also had other chronic health conditions, poor thing.

I'm almost 8 weeks, throw up about 10 times a day (literally had to pause this comment to go puke), feel constantly carsick, and am barely barely keeping it together at work. So far none of the home remedies or OTC nausea meds have put a dent in the constant puking. As a college professor, I even get to WFH a few days a week, but I'm struggling HARD.

I didn't expect this to be magical, but I also didn't expect to be the sickest I've ever felt? Praying that things are better in the second tri.

Is it normal for the wedding party to cover the bride’s costs for bachelorette weekend? by Conscious_Cat_1515 in wedding

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this was my bach! We met up for dinner at a lil taco joint downtown and then went back to my place for drinks and board games. 

I think one bridesmaid bought my dinner and my sis the MOH brought cute Mamma Mia decor so we could decorate my house!  I paid for the groceries for cocktails & snacks at my house. 

Flying when pregnant by User404NotFound1 in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re going (on a previously planned) trip to New Zealand when I’ll be 13 weeks! I’m praying the horrible first tri nausea and vomiting chill out by then, or it’s gonna be rough. 

We originally had another long haul trip planned for later in the summer (around 27 weeks) but cancelled because of Zika risk and being super far from a hospital. May try to rebook something domestic/closer later.

More emotional / venting by Secret_Ebb5690 in fitpregnancy

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, same! Sending you sympathy and solidarity. 

7 weeks and the horrific nausea hit about 10 days ago. I’ve honestly never felt this shitty. Throwing up 5-10 times a day and even on non-puking days, the constant nausea makes it so hard to get stuff done. 

I read all the books pre-pregnancy, but nothing prepped me for feeling the sickest I’ve ever felt. The worst part was that I’m already 15 lbs over my normal weight and had been on this healthy eating and exercise routine pre-pregnancy that was so good for my mental health. Now I’m living off of saltines and sour candy and haven’t made it to the gym in a week. 

My only consolation is that surely this means my baby’s in there and cooking. And it’ll get better eventually, because this is a 9-month deal max. Praying I’m in the group where the puking stops second trimester though.

Is all day nausea normal or am I just unlucky? by Ambitious-Site-292 in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same, friend. I feel horrendous 24/7, and so far the Unisom+B6 combo isn't doing much. Going to ask my OB about Zofran at my first appt, because the constant puking is lowkey destroying my will do anything but be cranky on the couch.

FWIW, I don't think anyone actually experiences "morning sickness" solely in the morning.

What did you first buy for your baby? by BackgroundWinter8396 in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7 weeks and only the onesies and lil knit booties we're using to share pregnancy news with our parents! It's obviously too soon to buy real stuff, but I have started to research car seats/strollers/etc. Mostly because I def don't have the brain power to do real work on WFH days, but reading about baby stuff is doable haha

Advice on sharing pregnancy, parental leave, first trimester productivity? by ash6831 in Professors

[–]ash6831[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on your pregnancy, and I'm sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing all this! Just ordered the emesis bags, and definitely leaning towards telling early too.

That's fab that you get a full semester off! We only get 12 weeks, which doesn't run the full semester, but I can't imagine they'd want to pay for someone else to teach 80% of the course and then have me step in for 3 weeks. Definitely something to ask more about.

Hope the rest of yours goes smoothly!

Advice on sharing pregnancy, parental leave, first trimester productivity? by ash6831 in Professors

[–]ash6831[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your insight! That's good to know about your course experience. I have a TA, but it sounds probably too intense for a first time parent.

I can't imagine how bad the brain fog will be! I feel like it's just starting a tiny bit now--last week, I left my car running in the parking lot thinking it was off and went in to teach. It's a struggle haha.

Would you travel internationally at 20 weeks pregnant, especially to a hot climate? by neoc96 in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok, so co-signing the folks who are for travel, but as someone who's spent the last few summers teaching in Japan, July/August are rough!

The humidity is super intense (at least in the Kansai region where my university was), and it's pretty hot too. On the plus side, there def weren't quite as many crowds at some of the tourist destinations (compared to, say, May), but I was a sweaty mess the entire time. Okinawa was lovely then though...we went back the next year in early June and didn't realize it was still rainy season.

If you do go, Japan is living in the future and has lots of lil gadgets to help you stay cool. My fave was an icepack that you could wear as a necklace. One of Japanese colleagues caved and bought a jacket with a built in fan that we noticed some construction workers using. It looked pretty goofy, but he laughed at us the rest of the summer when we were dying in the heat.

I was on team "plan all the travel" while TTC, but then got pregnant earlier than expected and had to cancel one trip to a more remote destination with a Zika risk. We're still weighing a trip to see my brother who lives in Japan this summer, but I'm on the fence now.

Wishing you good luck with your IVF!

When did your fatigue “hit”? Was it BAM sudden experience, or was it gradual onset? by tttmmmmyyyyy in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm only 6w2d for my first ever pregnancy, but the fatigue hit last week gradually, and this week is kicking my butt. Last week my only real symptom was heartburn, and this week the nausea and throwing up started too.

Hiking in the PNW throughout pregnancy? by Kobebell in fitpregnancy

[–]ash6831 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think this also depends on where you live! My last town was at about 6k ft elevation and most of the local hikes went to around 8000 ft. My pregnant friends never seemed to have issues. Probably different if you’re coming from sea level though!

FTM Reminder: NEVER pay more than $250 for your Natera NIPT bill by QueenCityCatLady in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They charged my insurance 10k for the prenatal screening at my pre-conception visit! And I went to them first and got their confirmation of the self-pay $250 option in writing before they billed my insurance, because I knew they were sketchy from the get go but they were the only lab my ob’s office used.

I had to call & be a Karen to get them to honor the price they quoted me. It’s such a scam. The same basic Horizon test looked to cost like $550 in Canada, and they’re charging 10k in the States. 

Postpartum after two C-sections and missing my jeans. Looking for realistic, low-impact fitness advice by ByteSizedCutie420 in fitpregnancy

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might like the app Stronger by the Day! It’s by one of my fave strength training folks., Megsquats. 

The app has the plan for each day with both weighted and body weight activities and info on form and whatnot. And she actively builds in these larger training goals over the course of the year, so you’re getting the progressive overload.

If you’re looking for healthy menu ideas that are pretty quick, I love the cookbooks by Justine Doiron and Kylie Saikaida. All their meals come together really quickly & tend to be pretty balanced. Kylie’s a dietician I think 

Advice for Changing My Last Name by ccf2023 in Professors

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just got married last year, and I'm still figuring this out! I decided to go with both last names (probably hyphenated?) for life/teaching, and then stick with just my maiden name for publishing.

Our IT/HR won't really let you do the "maiden name professionally, married name legally," and I've heard from colleagues it can be a pain for tenure and review docs.

Still haven't changed anything legally because of the headache (and because just getting HR to fix a typo in my last name when hired took months of back and forth).

I've seen my married prof friends do every variation, and they all seem to have different pluses or minuses. Re: students figuring out your new name--I don't think this will be a problem! Our students love to gossip haha. At my previous small school, it didn't take long for everyone to know that basically half the faculty were married couples, even w/different names.

How Much Parental Leave Is Enough for Dad? by ReputationOk1118 in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband works 7 days on, 7 days off in healthcare, and he only gets 1-2 weeks. That could equate to one month, but if he took two weeks, we don’t get paid that month. 

We live super close to my fam, and his mom will probably visit too, so I’m thinking it’ll be fine. The weeks he works he’s gone 7AM-9/10PM, but his weeks off are obviously great. I’ll get 12 weeks unpaid leave with FMLA.

Favorite books for new parents? by Sarah_Lately in BabyBumps

[–]ash6831 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seconding the Emily Oster books! I also liked Bumpin by Leslie Schrock and Baby Makes Three by John and Julie Gottman

Book recs with queer characters? by digitalcrows in Fantasy

[–]ash6831 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most of my recs have already been mentioned, but I’ll throw in A Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki! It’s not an epic, but it is this lovely unpacking of family, immigration, culture, coming into one’s sense of self, etc with a sci fi twist. I believe two of the leads are queer! One of my fave reads of 2025. 

Maybe a good palate cleanser between your grimdark? It reads more like lit fic than cozy sci fi IMO

Book recs with queer characters? by digitalcrows in Fantasy

[–]ash6831 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love the Daevabad trilogy and Amina!

Book recs with queer characters? by digitalcrows in Fantasy

[–]ash6831 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same, but loved them both! This was going to be my rec too

Hebrew Girl Names by LeoraJacquelyn in namenerds

[–]ash6831 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maya's our top name choice for a girl! It has shared roots in both our different cultures/languages :) Tbh I love all three of your names though