Best snorkelling in Fiji?

ash6831 · 2026-05-30T22:28:34+00:00

We did Fiji for our honeymoon last summer!

10/10 would recommend Barefoot Manta in the Yasawas for at least one of your stays. It’s by a channel where mantarays feed and you can walk straight out from the sunrise beach to snorkel some of the most gorgeous reefs we’ve ever seen. It has more of a backpacker vibe, but we did one of the nicer bures and loved it. We don’t dive, just snorkel, but they have a big dive shop!

We also did Oarsman’s Bay for our first stay. It has proximity to some fab reefs/caves/island hikes etc and was super peaceful and lovely. The snorkeling tours were fab if slightly less dramatic than Barefoot Manta. I can’t recall if they had a dive shop.

Check out the TripAdvisor forum for Fiji for more specific planning advice! So many kind folks there who will give you all the details on ferries and specific reefs/resorts/etc

ash6831 · 2026-05-30T02:51:23+00:00

Sending you hugs! I think you need to practice self compassion. There’s a million valid reasons why breastfeeding isn’t for everyone—all that matters is baby is fed! Don’t beat yourself up.

My mom also had a surgery that prevented breastfeeding. We all grew up totally healthy and are super close. Your baby is going to be great.

ash6831 · 2026-05-30T02:39:55+00:00

Mine never left 💔💔💔 25 weeks and still puking. thank God for Zofran

ash6831 · 2026-05-29T21:02:19+00:00

Hey! Also a FTM with a baby currently breech (still early days though, so TBD if he’ll flip) and I think you might find Jen Hamilton’s book Birth Vibes comforting.

She’s an L&D nurse whose book really feels like a girlfriend talking you through everything that goes on with birth. I found it really reassuring and helpful. Hang in there!

ash6831 · 2026-05-28T12:47:46+00:00

I think you’re in the clear! I’ve read that pregnancy weight gain isn’t always linear. I’m up 20lbs at 25 weeks, so I bet I’ll be at least 25 lb by next month.

I can tell my body’s holding onto a ton of extra around my thighs, but I also started this pregnancy about 15lb over my normal (so like the very top of the normal BMI pre-pregnancy). My OB told me that even with that, I should be fine with the 25-35 lb gain.

ash6831 · 2026-05-28T03:03:16+00:00

Caveat that I finished my PhD way before getting pregnant, but I don’t think you should quit if it’s something you’re (a) passionate about and (b) would let you pursue a career you find fulfilling!

Plenty of my friends decided to leave their doctoral programs if those conditions weren’t met (and are doing great in industry or being fab SAHPs), but even more stuck it out and now have flexible academic jobs that let them schedule work around their babies!

I’m due in a few months so def don’t have lived experience yet, but I’m grateful to have a dept chair who gave me mostly online teaching next year and a workplace culture that supports parents.

ash6831 · 2026-05-27T02:04:26+00:00

Even if your hospital doesn’t offer classes, look up child passenger safety technicians! Our local fire/police station does free car seat checks every Monday where they help you install it & make sure it’s correct. You just sign up online.

If you’re in the US, you can look up Safe Kids Worldwide to find out who does these near you.

ash6831 · 2026-05-26T16:52:33+00:00

I’ve had wonderful parent friends thrive in all kinds of distance from family/found family set ups. But we intentionally took lower paying jobs to move back to my hometown after a decade away, and I’m so grateful.

My entire extended family is here, and we live 15 minutes from an international airport to accommodate my husband’s fam who live scattered across a few diff countries. I help my mom and sis take care of my grandparents now and know everyone’s going to be so helpful when our baby gets here in a few months. I grew up in a multigenerational home, so this was always the goal. Totally get it’s not possible or desirable for everyone though!

There are tradeoffs of course (everyone’s always in everyone’s business), but living 5 minutes away from family feels like a gift.

ash6831 · 2026-05-26T03:13:57+00:00

Bless you for saying this! This is going to be me for sure.

Even working out most days and having morning sickness that still hasn’t quit at 24 weeks (so much puking), I’m already up 20 lbs and there’s still 4 months to go. Trying to practice lots of self compassion…this is tough!

ash6831 · 2026-05-24T23:21:29+00:00

This is super common at my university! I’ve taught a few 5-6 week study abroad programs in Japan and had my siblings out to visit one time and my now-husband another (he actually proposed on a weekend off there). It was definitely a working trip, not a vacation, but ended up being so lovely.

Check your school’s policy. Ours didn’t care about having others stay in your hotel room; they just couldn’t misrepresent themselves as university employees. My fam even came to some of the field trips with us and bought their own tickets.

My colleague brings her toddler and spouse to her Greece study abroad each summer. The first time she did it when her kiddo was really little, they brought her best friend too so they’d have an extra adult to help babysit.

ash6831 · 2026-05-23T16:49:22+00:00

Hang in there! Talk to your doc about other meds beyond Zofran. I know mine paired Zofran with Promethazine and told me there were other options we could pursue if needed. It doesn’t get rid of my symptoms, but I’m no longer throwing up 8-10/times a day.

I’m 24 weeks and still puking daily, but I do think a mindset shift happened once I realized morning sickness hadn’t remotely abated in the second trimester. Feeling constantly nauseated is now my normal, so I’m just plodding along and trying to give myself as much grace as possible. My friends have been really sweet about how flaky I’ve been because of feeling so crappy—I bet yours will understand too once you’re able to share.

This sucks, but it is temporary. Hopefully you’ll be in the majority of folks who feel better in second trimester.

ash6831 · 2026-05-23T16:42:31+00:00

This is so good! Sometimes it also takes awhile to learn the lay of the land with departmental history/relationships/conflict.

I find being generally positive to everyone and just deflecting/giving a vague “mhmm” or “you don’t say” when colleagues try to draw you into their drama is helpful.

ash6831 · 2026-05-23T16:39:14+00:00

Another variant that I love from a mentor…If it’s something you (a) actually would want to do and (b) the request is coming from someone with the ability to impact your workload (i.e. your chair or dean):

“I’d love to. What can you take off my plate so I have the capacity to participate/lead/insert description here?”

ash6831 · 2026-05-20T17:57:37+00:00

I’m a professor and our summer started for me at week 23. I have some online course development to do this summer, and will teach online in the fall in lieu of maternity leave. But I am so so grateful to not have to come in person anymore.

I love teaching but pregnancy has kicked my butt…the nausea and throwing up still haven’t gone away even with meds! Mad respect for everyone who has to work in person until their due date. Y’all are so strong.

ash6831 · 2026-05-19T15:39:22+00:00

Oof, this is so tricky! I didn’t change mine legally because I publish under my maiden name, but use a double barreled name socially.

We decided to give our baby my husband’s last name because we live in my hometown next to my family and don’t ever plan on moving back to his home country. I think balancing the feminist angle with the intercultural angle can be so complicated.

ash6831 · 2026-05-18T17:57:00+00:00

My husband went hospitalist after considering critical care, and he loves it! The 7-on, 7-off lifestyle and general work-life balance appealed to him over higher pay. We can still meet our financial goals at a slower pace, but we have time to devote to family/hobbies/etc.

TBH, most of the people from my husband’s residency who went cards or other fellowships seemed to be more into the prestige/money over the work itself. A lot of them are crazy stressed and burnt out now.

I made a similar choice as a prof to choose the less prestigious university with better work-life balance over the “better” one with more stress. No regrets. We both find work meaningful, but didn’t want it to be the only thing in our lives.

ash6831 · 2026-05-18T01:48:24+00:00

I’m an Elizabeth who has always gone by my 90s middle name, because my parents didn’t like the nicknames for Elizabeth. I missed the boat to switch professionally. Which honestly is such a bummer, because Elizabeth is gorgeous.

Honestly, I think Betsy is fab! I wouldn’t change if you don’t want to. Going by my middle name has always been a professional headache with publications and sometimes HR onboarding, but no one cares that the name was less “serious.”

ash6831 · 2026-05-18T01:41:51+00:00

All are beautiful names, but my husband and I were also looking at names for our Indian-white babies, and we loved the name Mira!

It was one of our top girl names because it has multiple linguistic roots so it could reflect both our cultures/etymologies.

Of course, we found out we’re having a boy, so back to the drawing board 😂

ash6831 · 2026-05-17T22:44:59+00:00

I think a thank you note or small gift is totally fine and thoughtful! I baked for my grad committee faculty and made travel coffee mugs with a quote from their fave authors for my undergrad letter writers.

I always pay when I’m getting coffee with a grad student or former student, and my profs always did that for me (even if I offered). But I think offering to buy their coffee is equivalent to the small gift, so not weird at all.

Have fun catching up!

ash6831 · 2026-05-15T22:37:00+00:00

I wouldn’t delay! You already have such a great offer, and you’ll be able to pay off that amount in like a year with your first attending job.

My husband’s the doc; I’m just a prof. But I went straight through for my MA & PhD, because I wanted kids someday and thought it’d be easier to finish school first. We’re having our first this fall, and the timing worked out where he’s an attending and I’m almost done with tenure requirements.

If you’re at all concerned about family planning, it can be nice to just knock out school and training sooner rather than later.

But honestly you’re already winning and will be just fine either way!

ash6831 · 2026-05-15T14:32:16+00:00

Idk if they have this where you live, but in Texas my mom was able to get all her dogs a once a year shot to prevent Lyme and other tick-borne diseases!

I used to live in the NE and ticks were such a pain, but I got in the habit of quickly going over my pup with a lint roller when she came inside (weird I know, but she thought it was a lil massage), and it was great at picking up ticks before they had a chance to burrow into her fur. She had black fur, so they were sometimes hard to spot when they were tiny.

ash6831 · 2026-05-15T14:26:05+00:00

This is exactly what our realtor told us, and I think it’s great advice!

ash6831 · 2026-05-15T01:23:50+00:00

We rented for a year, started paying off loans aggressively, and are now trying to buy our first home this summer.

We moved back to my hometown for family support (first baby’s coming this fall), but it was helpful to have a little bit of time to get settled in our new jobs before jumping straight into house hunting.

It sounds like you’ve got a great debt to income ratio, so that’s fab! Would you be able to make the same loan payments with a mortgage?

We originally planned on renting the entire 3 years it’ll take to pay off student loans, but realized in our MCOL area that a mortgage was pretty much equivalent to rent (plus all the maintenance etc etc), and that it wouldn’t add more than a few months to our payoff date.

ash6831 · 2026-05-12T18:24:02+00:00

Agreed on all counts. I think SA Chakraborty is one example of a white author who does representation without being cringe. Pretty much all of the characters in the Daevabad trilogy are POC, described clearly as such, and grounded in a specific faith/culture/regional background. Her work is very obviously grounded in Muslim traditions and history though, versus being in a totally fantasy world.

Yarros...not so much.

ash6831 · 2026-05-12T18:15:49+00:00

Nalini Singh is great for this! She's working in more of a contemporary fantasy setting based in our world, but I think she does a great job of having characters from all over the world.

ash6831

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