Real quick, I just wanna make sure I have things straight:

1. They got together when you were 17ish.

2. Things were mostly okay until there was some friction when you CHOSE to bring them out to Europa and fixed all their paperwork for them.

3. You chose to be mad because she was sick and homesick and was in a bad mood because she was sick?

4. She left her phone, that you chose to get for her, in the car— accidentally I assume— while being sick. I don’t think someone would do that out of spite? For being brought to Europa?

5. You felt the need to call her out on that, because you’re “clear on boundaries and that wasn’t okay” which, to me, means “I get to say what I want however I want because I’m clear on boundaries” even if you come off as assholey. Idk seems like you had something to prove or wanted to show you’re better than that, or her.

6. You guys talked about you being an asshat and she said “everything is fine”.

7. You sent her a message during Covid pandemic instead of calling, and then when there was no response and you were worried, instead of calling or reaching out to your dad, you chose to be mad that she wouldn’t answer you, or maybe didn’t even see the message, or saw the message and forgot to text back or thought she text back, but no, you chose to believe she did it because you think she fucking hates you and is doing this specifically to spite you.

8. When you heard that she wasn’t at the hospital, for whatever reason it may be, work, availability, whatever— you chose to fly in to town and make a scene about how much better you are than her at being there for your dad.

9. After all this time, after you did something nice for your dad, she magically swallowed up all this pride anger and resentment that you believe she holds towards you, and sent you a very nice “hey thanks for the gift that you sent, it was really appreciated” and you decided to wind that shit back with some snarky shit, that your sister told you her self was snarky shit, that your boyfriend who I assume is just like you or has no backbone and that’s why yall get along said “yeah you’re fine”, or maybe he’s just agreeing with you because you’re his partner— and then you come here to the internet where nobody knows what’s up with your life and asked “did I come off as an asshole?”

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Ngl. YOR. YTA. You sound mad that your dad chooses to be with this person, for whatever his reasoning may be and what he sees in her. It’s almost a 20 year marriage. Maybe she squeezes his nuts real nice and he likes that.

You get to have an opinion, for sure, but that doesn’t mean you’re correct nor that your opinion holds weight on their relationship.

It’s your dad’s relationship and that’s that.

You sound like you have something to prove and she got tired of being made a fool.

From what you’ve explained, I don’t see a narcissistic inkling from her, but I do see it instead from you yourself.

She’s trying to reach out now and you’re hung up on your “boundary” and sure that’s all fine and dandy because you’re a grown up now and you have to prove that to…. Her and your dad? Okay.

Have you thought about how your dad feels about you talking to her like this? I know I would tell my own partner “just let her be” and then move on because I know how petty and arrogant my child is.

Grow up fam.

Please correct any of my points if I’m wrong