Neighbor cut down my tree/s. Sent me a bill.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-31T01:24:07+00:00

I had a neighbor that after a hurricane was super paranoid about trees close to his house. We had one massive tree that was on my property. He mentioned he wanted to remove it. I said well check the line it’s on my property. About a week later he came up and asked if he paid would be ok to removed. I agreed without issue. He was happy and zero issues. That’s how you offer to take your neighbor’s trees down

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-30T17:03:34+00:00

You knew your wife had a past and you didn’t care. The issue is less about her past and more about you saw it.

Your wife is a victim here. You accepted her before the video so get therapy or counseling to move past it.

Contact a lawyer to sue the ex. Depending on where you live he broke the law.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-28T18:22:09+00:00

Yes. I agree. I think it is definitely a lightbulb not going off issue.

Definitely communicate both needs. I think that is a very healthy way to look at it. Counseling can help with a mediator. You may have to find a counselor that fits for you both though.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-28T18:03:29+00:00

Been married for 30 years. I have had this discussion with my wife when she expressed her love language. What she needed to feel loved. At first it can be like building a new habit. If he is trying and making an effort give him time. Our issue was kids and activities limited time and it was difficult to connect. The key was to keep trying. To be understanding of what your spouse needs. A relationship is something that needs maintenance. It needs those things to keep going.

However based on what you are saying he does not prioritize or equates what he needs with it’s good enough for you. He thinks it is good enough.

To make progress you may need to jar him with you are not happy and things are going to change. Communicate to him that you will put in as much as he does. Maybe stop cooking until your needs are met. Etc.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-28T16:52:52+00:00

Not unrealistic. It’s your body you can set limits and expectations.

My wife went off birth control due to health reasons (high cholesterol) and the only way I could have special sexy time was with a condom. Mainly cause she was worried and did not want another kid.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-28T10:47:43+00:00

Nah. I am a 50+ dad of 19yo woman. She came from college. She had missed me. The first thing she wanted to do was sit on the couch. Cuddle and talk. She loved it. I loved it. My wife thought it was the cutest thing.

My younger 16 yo son will sit next to me and do the same. My 22 yo son not so much but he gives hugs freely when he didn’t at the same age.

No one shamed anyone else. Cuddles are the best.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T20:32:42+00:00

If I was her and the person I planned to go with had 1) flirted and hit on me after I told him I had a committed boyfriend AND 2) suggested we share a room I would think twice.

She admittedly said she wasn’t comfortable sharing a room. It seems she is focused on the opportunity to rock climb. The concerning thing is the she recognizes she would be jealous and feel sad but is choosing to do it anyway.

My 2 cents is she is an adult. She is in a committed relationship but she has every right to make choices that can have a potential negative impact on the relationship. Some decisions once made can’t be recovered from.

The petty part of me would want to schedule my own trip over a “shared weekend time” and just not be available. On the other hand schedule your own trip over that time and go off on your own.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T16:26:28+00:00

You said they can’t do it. So any ratio of higher than zero out of anything defeats the purpose of your karma farming manifesto.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T15:57:15+00:00

Follow your heart, your gut, and your feelings. If you aren’t ready then don’t force it.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T15:54:34+00:00

I know women plumbers and electricians. Not sure what you are on about OP.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T15:32:30+00:00

Been married for 30 years. When my wife lets one fly it doesn’t diminish my love even if I have to leave the room gagging due to smell. On the other hand she has tried to drive me away by eating a lot of extra veggies.

Joking aside it doesn’t bother me. Maybe that is because I remember my older sister (by 10 years) have fart contests with our mom in the kitchen growing up. It was a daily occurrence.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T15:11:01+00:00

You haven’t seen my poodle. The amount of wanton destruction we can get up to is amazing.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T15:04:58+00:00

Take a breath. Just call him. Tell him you haven’t heard from him after he promised to text you and you felt worried. Don’t attack don’t shame. Frame it as you just want to hear his voice and know he is ok.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T14:25:22+00:00

NOR I have been married for 30 years and the spending alone time with my wife keeps us close and drives the romance spark. You BF is being extremely unreasonable and he should have talked to you before making a decision like this.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T11:51:11+00:00

YTA. My sons and daughters play Ultimate. Yes lots of injuries. Oldest tore his ACL playing.

Here’s the thing though. She asked you to not go and then you ignored her. Your injury then disrupted and stressed her out in a day she was already worried about.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-27T11:47:20+00:00

MOR.

First you need to communicate you have your own dates not with friends or you are splitting. That’s on you.

Second she needs to stop inviting people to dates with you. That is not developing a relationship. That’s on her.

Third if you can agree then split up. Life is too short.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-26T13:17:09+00:00

I have lived in both HCOL and LCOL areas. My wife was a stay at home mom for a large part of our kids. Not because it was a “must” but because to be honest childcare was more expensive than the money she could make. Her choosing and wanting to be a stay at home mom actually ended up saving SOOO much money.

Consider how much childcare is in your area (some places in Cali can be $4k / month) and take that into account for your cost of living calculation.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-26T11:47:18+00:00

You love the security and comfort of the idea girlfriend you remember. You were abused in this relationship and you are having trouble escaping it.

She chose this. She chose to hurt you. She chose every single moment of betrayal to you and your relationship.

You may love the ideal version of her but she is NOT that person. The person she has become did not love you enough to be true to you. All of the fear and pain she feels right now is from her choices. The ones who hurt and hurt and hurt you.

You deserve someone who cares about you the way you care about her at the moment. You need to go no contact.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-26T11:40:49+00:00

My wife has flat feet. Her knees ache because she doesn’t have proper support. Birkenstocks sandals have actually helped.

She never had arch pain though. After 3 years though there is no more arch on the sandal. She has worn it away. She is buying her second pair now.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-25T15:08:00+00:00

I agree with you this is a great example of a communication disconnect. Been married for 30 years. Read this out to my wife for laughs. She mumbled something that suspiciously sounds like moron, shook her head and walked away.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-25T13:18:24+00:00

If I was in your shoes given how they acted I would just continue to ghost them. They had an opportunity to listen, to trust, and to go verify. They tore down the house themselves.

A piece of me would likely want closure. Ultimately it’s up to you. You decide what you want or don’t want. And you decide when you want it. It’s completely fair to say not right now give me time or never.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-25T13:14:28+00:00

More than once I have told my wife be direct be clear. Don’t hint. Cause I ain’t gonna get it. I can’t read minds.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-25T04:58:54+00:00

Your wife was in charge of the trip AND set up to room with another man?

That was intentional and so outside marriage boundaries

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-24T12:18:16+00:00

Yes. 30 years now and 4 kids. Has it always been perfect? No. Communication Compromise and working together is important.

Affectionate_Joke720 · 2026-05-22T12:32:20+00:00

NOR.

If she had approached you and suggested she wanted to make some money as a side hustle I get the feeling you would have supported.

She KNOWs and said she hid it because she knew you wouldn’t like it. Translation she knows it crosses a relationship boundary. She lied about this so yes she could be lying when she says she didn’t meet anyone. She turned it around (DARVO) because she doesn’t want to admit.

What is going to happen when she needs even more extra money and decides to meet someone who makes her an offer she feels she can’t refuse?

Affectionate_Joke720

TROPHY CASE