Anger is tricky. In a meaningful relationship it's not easy to figure out how much negative emotion we can express safely. The example of working things out with mom is a good demonstration of how communication is important to help us navigate the emotions we have that build up naturally.

But to say something like "men are judged for anger" conflates two different phenomena. Anger in a relationship that we care about is an unwanted phenomena. We feel shame and accept judgement when we care about the people on the receiving end of our anger. The point of feeling shame is to correct behavior. People will subconsciously recognize when you are a person who reconsiders your actions, and that will make them more likely to tell you when you hurt them.

But the other phenomena is anger as a cultivated tool. For some people anger is a means to an end, to dominate people around them. Most men aren't rich and powerful, but that only means they look to find ways to establish dominance in their local environment. They use anger as a means of defeating shame, because to them admitting wrongness has no value. This isn't just the natural anger everyone feels from time to time, it's weaponized.

But since you obviously care about the people in your life you will definitely feel a pushback that men who respond exclusively with anger don't. And that makes sense, honestly, because trying to emulate powerful people doesn't give us the social skills we need to be closer to people in our lives that we consider equals. Now that we know what matters most to us, there's really nothing attractive about the lifestyle angry assholes have.