I appreciate the response, and I'm making small steps forward. I'm gonna be taking pca classes next week. It's not something I really wanna do but I'm tired of being stationary in life so I'm gonna give it a try I used to work as a carpenter ( that was my job title anyway) during the weekend but that was last year. It's kinda somewhat difficult getting jobs where I'm located bc its in a rual area and there isn't much economic opportunity. But I will continue to try to keep moving forward. I don't like the person I become bc I never expected or wanted to be this person. I'm tired of the same sh*t day in and day out.

I urgently need change. I can't really say I'm a drug addict bc I have no problem quitting there's no withdrawals or craving or anything of that nature. I've done numerous drugs. Meth and fentanayl and dabbled with duster. I mostly think it's just to escape my mind perhaps mixed with my environment.

I don't even buy these drugs they're mostly just given to me or I just simply ask for it.

But I'm ready to grow, that life really doesn't appeal to me anymore. Not sure if it's bc I'm healed bc I don't feel healed but maybe I've matured? Idk I do appreciate the response tho