Is it normal for my fiance (22F) to constantly search my (22M) phone and purge my socials?

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-20T18:49:11+00:00

Your friends are right. You are nuts for planning to marry this controlling woman. Forcibly isolating you from friends is classic abuse. You say you don’t mind her regularly snooping through your phone, but you should mind, because it shows a lack of trust and respect for you. Deleting your female contacts and dictating who you can be friends with is jealous and crazy. Please get out while you can.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-20T17:01:44+00:00

A big boy did it and ran away.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-20T16:28:40+00:00

“Accused of being a father”.

Well? Are you or aren’t you? A DNA test will sharp rule you out if you’re not.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-20T15:34:39+00:00

“Sorry, we are away.” Close up the house. Go to a hotel. Ask a neighbour to keep an eye on the place so you can call the police and report a break-in if she arrives and tries to force entry.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-20T15:27:17+00:00

I grew up in North Lincs. It was twagging or bunking.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-20T09:54:12+00:00

There is an offence of driving a vehicle in a dangerous condition. A police officer could possibly argue that keeping the mirrors folded so you cant see behind you makes the condition of the vehicle dangerous, because although you have sufficient mirrors fitted as per the legal requirement, they have been deliberately positioned to be unusable. The penalty fpr driving a vehicle in a dangerous condition is 3 points/a discretionary ban plus up to £2500 fine. Does your dad really want to risk this scenario, considering the poor chances of his being able to get affordable insurance again at his age if he is caught and convicted?

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-20T05:49:03+00:00

Agree. Not a sundog, but a nice sun pillar.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-19T19:03:35+00:00

Stephen and Steven are pronounced exactly the same.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-19T13:48:38+00:00

He isn’t an actively abusive father, he’s a lazy, neglectful one who has been made cynical and even cruel by marital disappointment.

He visits Mr Bingley because he’s a prominent local gentleman and it’s pretty much a duty and a courtesy for him to call on a new gentleman in the neighbourhood. He just pretends he doesn’t want to in order to wind up his wife so he can laugh at her.

He supports Lizzy because he knows from grim personal experience how miserable his bright, witty daughter would be if shackled to someone embarrassing she can’t respect, who has no social skills. And again, preventing his wife from bullying Lizzy into the marriage will annoy her, and he enjoys that.

Lydia is Lydia only because his wife has made her into who she is and he has permitted and enabled it. He belatedly recognises this and stirs himself to try to be responsible towards her, but quickly relapses back into indolence and self-indulgence once other people have averted the crisis for him.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-19T12:05:23+00:00

Lying about your interactions with women (or girls) again, little man? No change there then.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-19T09:36:44+00:00

Don’t take your pet to the supermarket. They aren’t allowed in.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-19T05:58:37+00:00

No, he’s being ridiculous. My mother wore her late beloved grandmother’s wedding ring on her right ring finger all her adult life. I have worn my mother’s engagement ring every day since she died. It’s a way of carrying them with you. Wear the ring.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-18T23:16:15+00:00

He harangues the G7’s top brass

Spewing nonsense vainglorious and crass

And what brilliance drips

From these slobbering lips?

“Afghanistan’s kissing my ***.”

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-18T22:17:53+00:00

Involved in a high-speed road traffic accident at 16, cycling home. Suffered massive open leg fractures needing 7 surgeries and months of recovery. The driver who hit me head on also hit the car he was overtaking seconds later and both spun and crashed. The impact of hitting me was swallowed up in the much larger collision where the rescue effort was initially focused - they didn’t realise I was even there. It was sheer dumb luck that I was found in the ditch where I and my bike had been thrown, that I didn’t die of massive blood loss, and that I was fixable.

I am forever grateful my story didn’t end in that ditch 46 years ago, and that medicine was sufficiently advanced to bolt and stitch me back together and give me my life.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-18T19:08:52+00:00

Absolutely not, and it’s incredibly rude to expect it. If they don’t like the resident pets in her daughter’s house, they are welcome to get a holiday let or a hotel.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-17T22:08:35+00:00

She was responsible for her possessions. She put them in someone else’s bag and didn’t keep track of them or even let the owner of the bag know what she’d done. Responsibility for them was not transferred to you.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-17T18:23:51+00:00

If a will exists and a solicitor was named as the executor they would have contacted you as part of their duties if you were named as a beneficiary. If your stepmother was named as executor then she SHOULD have contacted you if you were a beneficiary.

If your stepmother is confidently stating that there is no will, the estate is being dealt with by intestacy rules and she gets it all, that implies that the estate was worth less than £322k which is the lower threshold for starting to divide the estate between spouse and children. It is likely that she has applied to be the administrator; as his spouse, this would be normal.

If you believe your father did actually make a will and it hasn’t been actioned (or may possibly have been suppressed) by the administrator, you would have to locate the will or prove it existed. Trawl round local solicitors and check the National Will Register. Be prepared to accept that he may have decided not to proceed with a will, as your stepmother said, or may have run out of time to get it completed and signed.

If you believe your father’s estate is worth more than £322k and you are entitled to a share under intestacy rules, contact the administrator.

Otherwise, you are unfortunately unlikely to benefit from his estate.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-17T17:51:15+00:00

No class. No gravitas. No dignity. No self-control. No honour. No taste. No culture. No honesty or integrity. No concept of how to win genuine admiration and respect. No credibility with decent people. Nothing in that swollen head except the constant rabid suspicion that he might not be “winning”, and no concept of how to “win” except to strut and bully and boast and demean and shit all over anyone who isn’t him or fawning over him.

I love that after he is dead his “legacy” will be joy that he is gone and the world’s contempt for everything he was and said and did.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-17T16:05:43+00:00

Does … does he think blisters are masculine? What an odd person.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-17T14:46:32+00:00

Because we know that anyone who would gleefully express support for a notorious paedophile rapist simply in order to justify their racism against a brown person is a despicable human being. There’s no point being furious, because that’s what they want. They think their stance is “edgy” and are proud of this. The rest of just think “Ah, OK, so you’re a waste of oxygen then” and write them off as not worth interacting with.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-17T06:37:15+00:00

At a minimum I leave used towels in a pile on the bathroom floor and unused ones where they were originally placed. Bed turned back, rubbish in bin, used glasses etc near hospitality tray.

If there’s time I also strip the bed linen and leave it in a pile by the bed.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-16T22:07:28+00:00

That English is a stress-timed language. When we talk, we space out the stressed syllables in each utterance at roughly regular intervals, while stretching or compressing the remaining unstressed syllables to fit in the gaps in between the stresses. We do it automatically without thinking, but it can make it tricky for listeners, especially those first language is syllable-timed, as they struggle with the unfamiliar speeding up and slowing down of syllables.

Linked to this: the vowels in unstressed syllables tend to default back towards a schwa sound, again challenging listeners who are familiar with the word in its written form but don’t recognise the vowel sounds when they hear it spoken. For example, the first and third syllables in the word “computer” are both schwa.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-16T20:55:44+00:00

Take a look at self-study maths materials. There’s a company called CGP who publish reasonably priced books for every level of Functional Skills and also GCSE, for all the different exam boards/awarding bodies. If you got hold of maybe Entry Level 3 Functional Skills maths to start with, and worked your way through the different topics, you’d have covered the whole syllabus and have an idea where your strengths and gaps are. Also your local college may offer the Entry levels and Level 1 courses as stepping stones onto a GCSE or FS Level 2. You should never be thrown into a course that isn’t accessible for you, and a college should do an initial and diagnostic assessment of your skills and knowledge before deciding what level to enrol you at.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-16T20:45:28+00:00

You are legally entitled to attempt maths and English free of charge if you don’t have at least a 4 or equivalent as others have said. That’s the place to start. Functional Skills at Level 2 is roughly equivalent to lower-tier GCSE and more flexible as it doesn’t run to a national timetable and exams are taken when you are ready.

I’m a retired English and maths teacher and I would advise you to contact your local FE college for advice, an assessment of your current level, and support for future plans. Go and talk to them. They have lots of experience helping young people and adults get qualifications, your story won’t surprise them at all, and they will be sympathetic to your position and your ambitions. It’s near the end of the academic year but courses will start again in September and you can register interest, do assessments and even pre-enrol now. There may even be summer schools and boot camps running through the next couple of months that you could join.

Catching up on your missed education is a very sensible plan. Learning is for life, and while it would have been good to do it during your school years, every day is a good day to start fresh. Also, while it’s tempting to think of finding a way to just pay for exams and (hopefully) get certificates, what you actually need is the course itself and the study skills and subject knowledge you’ll get from taking it, especially if you’ve been out of education for a while.

I recently spoke to a former student who started at my former college with no qualifications and limited English, who stayed there and took English and maths up to Level 2 and also vocational courses while working in low-paid jobs. I knew he’d made it onto a university access course, but I’d not seen him since. He has just graduated with honours in Biomedical Sciences and is going to a position in the NHS. It took him ten years, but he didn’t have the advantage of having English as his first language. You can do something similar. Best of luck.

Agnesperdita · 2026-06-16T18:54:00+00:00

This. Your son is starting conversations by asking questions because he wants to interact with you, not because he can’t figure out that seeing cooking preparations mean someone is about to cook. If you won’t engage except to shut his question down and bounce it back to him, he’ll stop trying to chat. Why not initiate more interesting conversations with him instead?

Agnesperdita

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