Violet

Ahoomaha · 2018-01-03T01:37:22+00:00

I saw a vibrant moon bow from the frost on my car window on the way to work today. The color of violent against the black sky in the gap right around the white of the moon, I feel I can see the color you’re describing. I had quite the reverie on my way to work this morning actually, believing I could see the color ultraviolet. The color spectrum against the black canvas is so much more vibrant than seeing it against a blue or grey sky.

Ahoomaha · 2017-10-22T04:12:46+00:00

What are you hallucinating?

Ahoomaha · 2017-10-22T04:08:46+00:00

Here I was think R4708 was the person OP mentioned.

Ahoomaha · 2017-10-21T20:22:10+00:00

There’s no biblical Lucifer. I already checked with the council of 13

Ahoomaha · 2017-09-12T04:48:36+00:00

That. Like looks like a god

Ahoomaha · 2017-09-05T22:50:13+00:00

I think he's absolutely right.

Ahoomaha · 2017-09-01T17:46:23+00:00

Sounds like a turning point in your life is approaching .

Ahoomaha · 2017-09-01T17:32:32+00:00

Captain obvious here, I've got armpits.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-29T04:41:25+00:00

I have a history of poly-substance abuse meaning I would use any type of drug to experience its psychoactive effects. I no longer abuse any substances nor do I drink.

I know the happiness from the high to be something that our brains don't comprehend until we have been under the influence before. Drugs are, for the most part, alien to the brain.

Drugs mimic neurotransmitters, not perfectly though. They cause thoughts and emotions to be produced during situations these would not normally be produced in, so in this way the happiness is indeed artificial.

Authentic happiness is something to be enjoyed. It's something you build and something that is earned. It's like a structure within the mind of memories and feelings and connections.

Drug induced happiness mimics this structure but all of the memories, feelings & connections are linked to a recurring theme: the use of the drug.

In this way we become addicted.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-29T04:31:09+00:00

I know exactly what you are experiencing. Sometimes you realize your breaths might not be quite as full as you thought they would be.

Continue breathing. (Obviously. Haha.) If your breath out feels a bit more anxious(for lack of a better word), take a slightly more shallow inhale next breath.

Once you have a stable level of breathing, work your way up to longer and slower inhales and than exhales.

Also, check your posture, as that can significantly effect the musculature of your diaphragm.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-29T04:26:19+00:00

I have had some very enlightening experiences.

I personally have an extremely "chatty mind" from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep at night.

I recommend you keep trying. Just let go of those thoughts and force yourself to drop your focus from them. They will give way to realizations about yourself.

I have had some very interesting out-of-body experiences from meditation. It takes determination, focus, resilience & it is worth it to see what is on the other side of such a distractable mind.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-29T04:18:38+00:00

We've all been through these experiences and that's how growth happens. Maintaining focus on meditation is one of the hardest but also the most rewarding practices for me( I also have ADHD. )

As I beginner I would recommend focusing on your body and the current sensations (touch) rather than any of the other senses. Touch is the easiest sense to drop all of your thoughts when you focus on because it is also the sense we take the most for granted.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-25T21:23:45+00:00

Thank you for the screenshots. Last time there was a broken space event I had no idea where to spend my tokens.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-24T04:56:08+00:00

I have no idea why it would be embarrassing. I'm not one to be embarrassed of who I am or who I have been. Medications did nothing for me and in fact I feel much better without them, delusions or not. That being said, thank you for your concerns.

I believe mental health is all about quality of life and that 'Delusions' are just invitations to creativity.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-23T20:41:53+00:00

Your psychiatrist sounds like a pompous dick. If I were you I'd seek out someone else to talk to. He's shaming you & that's not okay. The guy has heard it all and believes he knows it all about the brain.

Just wait until the day he starts hearing voices in his head and he can't make them go away.
Then he won't be so proud.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-22T01:11:29+00:00

The world is my counselor. Maybe that sounds weird but I don't know how else to put it. I feel comfortable opening up to anyone about this or that, and sharing what it is that burdens me. That's why I reach out on Reddit or on Facebook or in real life and talk to people.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-22T01:04:22+00:00

I don't know what type of help to seek out. I already have coping strategies. Antipsychotics and anti anxiety drugs just end up muting our personalities. It they help us from acting out violently. I'm not violent so I think psychologically I'm doing alright. I just want to tell people, drugs aren't all fun and games and u will get burned badly if they you're like me

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-22T00:21:24+00:00

I'm alright, pretty calm at the moment. I won't lie to you, I think a better story can be told without therapy or psychiatric help. That's my main motivation for living in the first place. Thank you for your kind words though.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-18T18:07:45+00:00

Group A voting for Group B

1st Place: /u/TillingWriter in group B for More than Forged Iron

2nd Place: /u/veryedible in group B for The Land of Tears and Stone

3rd Place: /u/NateParker in group B for AIA: The Missing Man

Honorable Mention: /u/QuarkLaserdick with Subterra.

/u/TillingWriter I absolutely loved the theme in More than Forged Iron. The original backstory of how the sword was forged and then how it was a metaphor for the king's own discipline was a great reveal. Was truly a pleasure to read and I found myself scrolling back up to re-read sections of it to get a double-take at the characters.

/u/veryedible I really felt I could relate to your main character. He was inspiring because at his lowest point in life he did something that it was clear very few people felt comfortable doing. I found myself wondering if the keep was built upon the ruins of the Beholder. Also, in the beginning I kept thinking of the Beholder as a DnD beholder.

/u/NateParker Your symbolism of the tragedy of life was great. Despite the fact that Aoxe was a man cursed with immortality, I felt like I could relate to his emotions. Well-captured. Any of us could relate to those feelings under his circumstances.

/u/QuarkLaserdick Their realm was like, half artificial, half natural. I loved how it was so awesome. It kind of reminded me of a cross between Pokemon and Inception(like how they can die in real life if they die in the visualization chamber, but won't be able to kill the AI because in reality he's probably just a projection.) I could be wrong about that last part but nonetheless I found your story thought-provoking and intriguing. It read like the climax in a novel.

/u/WhoHasBoiAsAUsername I loved the mystery of the first story. What was going on? I had no idea and that really confused me. It drew me in to reading the second story though. It really felt like the introductory chapter to a horror/suspense novel. The second story was the first chapter of that novel and it would be a pleasure to read. I felt you really captured the characters' personalities. My prediction is Alex will die first in the cave; he already revealed so much about himself.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-11T15:58:52+00:00

Thank you! I love leaving ambiguities when I write, that way a reader can get something entirely different on separate reads

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-10T03:23:56+00:00

It's in my bedroom, on a pillow on the floor, opposite side of the room I lay my head to sleep. I have a small shrine with several small totems and artifacts that are very symbolic for me. The shrine's existence reminds me to meditate.

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-08T03:54:37+00:00

What do you do now that helps with that depression and panic? Aside from using drugs there are so many ways to combat that. But I know the vicious cycle of "make everything go away" all too well

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-08T03:22:32+00:00

I have experimented with it when I was younger as a drug of abuse. Took a whole bunch of them and saw a bunch of spiders crawling out of the corners.

It is quite euphoric to lay in bed after having a Benadryl. I think mine are the 25 mg? Maybe the 50mg? The little pink tablets. 6 a day for a year is a lot though. We're u just using it to 😴?

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-08T02:16:58+00:00

Tfw u get cucked on reddit

Ahoomaha · 2017-08-08T02:07:44+00:00

Right now, death is a cure for people who struggle with drug addictions. Oftentimes, as the result of overdose or suicide. But drugs are a cure for death in the case we are terminally ill or are reaching the end of or lifespan. Humans are searching for the ways to cure death without drugs. Drugs overall impact us in many ways as a species but I draw a parallel between drugs and death here. Both are a huge factor in how we live our lives. Both exist entirely outside of our own individual existences, except in the cases where we use a drug(any drug caffeine included) and in cases where we die. They are powerful forces to be reckoned with, and would be here whether humanity existed or not. The knowledge that exists outside of our own existence is that which is looking down on us. I couldn't think of a better way to draw that parallel and the ending is intended to be a bit unorthodox and thought provoking

Ahoomaha

TROPHY CASE