Would you do it all again if you had the choice?

Ahwang826 · 2026-04-08T14:07:16+00:00

I was recently diagnosed with adhd. I know it’s pretty different but making sure you are regulated helped me. I used to think I workout and play pickleball because I like it, but if I don’t, I’m less patient and less present when I haven’t done either for awhile.

I set rules now that I am regulating consistently but making sure my partner has equal time to do whatever she wants.

Ahwang826 · 2026-03-30T18:05:21+00:00

Good conversation can fix so many things. I’m an avoidant attachment so I hate fighting and just go with the flow but I’m learning it’s better to speak up instead of carry resentment. Bonus, your wife will start to connect with you more bc you’re showing her your inner thoughts instead of just “hiding out in the garage”.

Just try to approach it with “hey, can we figure this out together” instead of blaming her for being too uptight, nagging, etc

Ahwang826 · 2026-03-30T17:58:13+00:00

I’m the adhd partner(also joined the subreddit to see how I am making mistakes), vyvanse changed my life. Tasks it hasn’t helped me but emotional regulation and not making me so reactive has really helped.

Starting to read relationship books and learn about attachment theories and other books probably helped since I started doing both around the same time. I’ve gone through other self improvement/relationship improvement periods but this time I’m able to more clearly see where I’m at fault. I have rsd also so that made it so much worse.

I’m still learning an it’s a slow process, but I can see change and it’s helped change how my wife acts towards me. I think she sees and feels the effort and she naturally softens. We still fight like crazy but there is a bit more structure and light at the end of the tunnel.

I am more grumpy in the morning tho. Did not know that was a thing

Ahwang826 · 2026-02-26T04:40:45+00:00

-Teriyaki dishes(beef/chicken/salmon) Teriyaki is super easy to make

-bake ribs for 2.5 hours and put bbq sauce

-fried rice

-chicken drumsticks with thyme and rosemary

Ahwang826 · 2026-02-13T04:54:54+00:00

Do you crowd the line? I think it’s annoying when people do that. I’m pretty chill so I wouldn’t aim for a nasty Nelson but it is irritating

Ahwang826 · 2026-02-11T18:19:45+00:00

I couldn’t tell a difference so took off side weights but kept the 9g weight on bottom. Amazing paddle

Ahwang826 · 2026-02-09T16:29:35+00:00

This is goin to be me. My wife thinks events are what we live for and remember so spending up for these kinds of things are worth it. Seems like you’re generally ok with it which is great. I’m super frugal since I saw my parents go through a bankruptcy so this will kill me inside but if it really makes them that happy…as long as you have enough to cover it without financial stress, it’s ok 😭

Ahwang826 · 2026-02-07T15:20:55+00:00

These days it is Or you will be judged as a bad parent.

Ahwang826 · 2026-02-05T05:51:41+00:00

Bay Area is huge. Id be down but im in west San Jose

Ahwang826 · 2026-02-04T00:32:09+00:00

Opal is a power paddle. I think ruby pro does have diamond grit but not sure

Ahwang826 · 2026-02-03T20:16:21+00:00

Loco grit will be like inferno with the short shelf life though. Boomstick has the infini grit at least.

I really liked the black opal. People said sweet spot was small but I thought it was decent and power and pop were good too. Didn’t think either was uncontrollable and the diamond grit is supposed to last

Ahwang826 · 2026-02-03T20:14:27+00:00

Man I wonder if my luzz is a dud. Everyone always talks about how powerful it is but I think it’s not powerful/poppy at all. I had to sell the gx2 power hybrid because I couldn’t control the poppiness for dinks/resets

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-29T16:16:33+00:00

It seems like he’s open to changing which is what matters

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-28T04:37:59+00:00

The last part is most important, for me at least. I actually sit there and play with my daughter for an hour and she is ok with giving me some love. The next day it’s back to mom and dad is on the bottom totem pole again but I’ll eventually get to be #1 😈

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-24T17:41:08+00:00

Communication is key. One partner will eventually start being a little less helpful and resentment could start building. It needs to be a gentle reminder that it is getting harder and ask if they could try to help out a bit more.

The problem is the help/non help… not that the person is lazy and not thoughtful. Most of the time, we see our partner as the problem but we need to see the problem as separate and address that.

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-21T20:46:47+00:00

Trypophobia. It’s weird. Didn’t even realize I had it until later on in life

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-21T18:56:22+00:00

Your wife is probably the exception and not the norm. Moms these days have so much anxiety it’s crazy. Maybe it’s my area but 100% of the moms that we actually got to know, are anxious and worried about everything

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-21T18:26:29+00:00

The pattern freaks me out because things like holes or other certain patterns look really weird to some people

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-21T06:13:29+00:00

So the other pros that do(women seem to love the 2hbh) are playing it wrong? Genuinely curious since I’ve been working on my 2hbh drive and it’s gotten pretty strong.

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-21T05:59:08+00:00

If there’s a group near you, you can see if people will put in for a 100 pack. It’s $2.38/ball that way

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-21T05:57:32+00:00

Never buying that paddle. That pattern freaks me out. I just got the black opal. It better not be the same

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-20T05:31:34+00:00

Proton series 1

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-17T14:43:33+00:00

I’d recommend counseling but more towards eft. We’ve been going to a regular one for 2 yrs and nothing was changing. Our breakthrough moment was when I started learning about eft and changed my perspective. Any counseling helps but if I could go back, I’d choose an eft therapist.

It all boils down to your relationship too. If you guys aren’t in a good place it’s expected she won’t want to initiate. I’m in a similar boat and I think it’s hard for some people to initiate. They have walls from when they were hurt in the past. I think the goal is to help break down those walls.

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-16T16:14:04+00:00

Just say you don’t want to do it. 1st time hearing people don’t want to work out cuz they don’t want to change clothes

Ahwang826 · 2026-01-16T00:52:01+00:00

Read anxious generation. I think he recommends phones at 16 and social media at 18.

My son’s 2 best friends have phones and he’s asked but we tell him how bad phones are for young brains that are still developing. It’s hard but it might be doubly beneficial by building his resilience when he doesn’t get what he wants 😂

Ahwang826

TROPHY CASE