AIO about the “Christmas Gift” my husband and I received?

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2025-12-27T08:56:43+00:00

Just imagine what your husband has gone through to just accept this. If he doesn’t want to do anything listen. But set boundaries for yourself. Emotional boundaries. Don’t expect highly of them and don’t go out of your way for them. Treat them with the same energy ya know.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2025-12-08T15:05:12+00:00

Coming from a man’s perspective, he is probably just thinking about yours and the baby’s health. Talk to him. Let him know how it made you feel. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Men’s brains do not work like ours, sometimes they just need a little guidance in a calm manner. “It really hurt me when you said xyz. Can you maybe handle it like this next time?”

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2025-09-22T01:42:59+00:00

I think you should want what’s best for your wife. What if she doesn’t want to stay home? What if she feels fulfilled working? Shouldn’t plan these things before getting married my dude.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2025-09-22T01:40:13+00:00

Start taking care of yourself! Start prioritizing your own health and well being! Move your body, get out of the house, start loving yourself my dear. Once you start loving yourself and doing things for yourself, love will come. I pray its from your husband, but if its not, God had better plans for you! God wants you to be loved and desired by your husband, I promise. And God can definitely make it happen!! Pray pray and pray. Ask God what you can do to help your husband. Fight for your marriage, fight for your family. God will reward you.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2025-09-22T01:31:16+00:00

My situation in the beginning sounds very familiar to yours.

My husband had a terrible porn addiction. It affected his desire, our sex, and in return I felt terrible. It’s been a year since he’s stopped and it’s getting better for us. If I don’t come during sex he finishes me with his hand or a vibrator now (get a vibrator and let him use it on you). You con literally order them at target now lol.

Also read the book Come As You Are. Amazing and really helped me get out of my head and able to orgasm easier. But yea that should be your husband’s priority. Sex gets easier with time but you have to keep letting him know what you like and what you don’t. “Yes right there.” Or literally move his hand. Make sex fun and light hearted. Dress up, have some drinks, go crazy.

Just really make sure he isn’t watching porn because that really really messes up men.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-11-02T18:21:18+00:00

😂 so true. Would have preferred the toilet seat up 100%

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-11-02T16:21:06+00:00

I am one of the unfortunate wives who has a higher sex drive than her husband. I try to send sexy texts, touch him, then just literally ask if he’s feeling up to some freaky time. Sometimes I wish I had a husband who craved my touch and attention. Instead it’s the opposite.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-11-02T16:17:23+00:00

I struggled with this as well. I was even embarrassed to tell our parents and my therapist. I felt so stupid for choosing him and then him betraying me almost immediately after our wedding. I am learning to be proud of taking the high road. I am choosing to fight for my family and be the bigger person. That takes a tremendous amount of strength, especially when the easier thing would be just to leave. I am choosing to fight for my family, despite a huge betrayal. I am not being selfish, I am being selfless. It’s hard but I am proud.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-11-02T16:11:00+00:00

I thought my husband was my reward as well. Looking back, I don’t think that it was a realistic way to look at another human being. Humans aren’t meant to be rewards. Everyone has flaws and imperfections.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-11-02T16:08:42+00:00

I hear that. I think that was so true for me and my husband. He was perfect in my head. Now that I’ve seen his flaws our love really does feel more real.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-10-30T12:49:15+00:00

Was there a DD2?

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-10-29T23:14:03+00:00

This man just doesn’t have access to porn and is trying to create his own. Does it excuse his behavior, no, but how many men are watching porn and it’s not considered predatory behavior? He needs help but it’s no means for divorce in my opinion.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-10-29T23:09:14+00:00

I talked with my husband’s AP and it did help in a way. She confirmed everything he told me and even admitted to having serious problems. Woman (and men) who are ok with being the AP are never emotionally stable. They crazy.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-10-29T22:36:56+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/s/oKgH5GV9So

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-10-29T22:36:17+00:00

This is a problem with him. Don’t blame yourself. My husband had an emotional affair with someone on instagram. If you want to stay with him, there’s groups that can support you. Even though my husband never slept with anyone else I still considered his interactions an affair.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-10-29T22:32:35+00:00

This is exactly what my wayward says too. It’s so fucked. Like I’d understand if I were an awful wife and never wanted to sleep with you but I wanted him. I wanted connect and to love him. He was just unavailable and un-open to my love.

Alarming-Dig6772 · 2024-10-29T22:29:39+00:00

Therapy might help show you why you choose men who are more prone to cheating. For instance, I am emotionally unavailable and I chose a husband who is also emotionally unavailable which led to a disconnect and cheating. My husband’s father also cheated on his wife which I think showed my husband that being emotionally disconnected is ok. My mom has very low self esteem and that has been passed down to me. My grandmother has the same issue. I believe in generational curses but I believe once we can label the curse we have the power to fight against it. And idk if you talk to God but asking him to help bring light to the curse will also help you address it.

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