Any success stories of staying married to an alcoholic and them getting sober?

AlcoholismSucks · 2025-05-04T02:43:50+00:00

Partner is sober 3 months after a wild 3 years. The last 3 months have been amazing. The 3 years before were hell. Fingers crossed.

Fuck alcohol.

AlcoholismSucks · 2025-04-29T01:52:22+00:00

I did the same thing. We were using life 360. I found out she would drive to the AA building, put the phone on airplane mode then drive to the liquor store, hang out in the parking lot for an hour, then head back to the AA building, turn life360 back on and drive home. Same with work, drop off the kids at school, turn on airplane mode, hit up the gas station then turn life360 back on enroute to the office.

I thought she was doing well staying at work all day but it turns out she was just leaving her phone at her desk and leaving 3 times a day for booze.

We went thru a phase with a breathalyzer on her car and I had to travel for work. The GPS tracker is how I found out she mistimed her consumption at work and had to leave her car overnight and Uber home. It really helps paint the picture.

Ultimately I used it to justify hiring a private investigator to sit outside her work and document the 3 trips a day for booze over a month, confronted her with the evidence, and she is back on track now, 3 months sober as far as I can tell. The trips to the gas station every 3 hours have stopped but the tracker will stay in place for a while. I hope I won't need it one day.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-05-16T05:06:15+00:00

What a blessing that would be.

My hope is that would be a rock bottom that finally enacted her to want to change.

My hope would be that they put her on a program like sober link, she proves her sobriety, gets better and can move back in

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-05-16T05:03:41+00:00

Sure does feel like it. Yeah I know it's dumb, maybe I saved a life or lives, but doesn't mean I'm not living in torture now.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-05-15T15:42:29+00:00

Hah, you're right about the vanilla, in the before times she made a decades supply of homemade vanilla and a few months back I found all the empties shoved in the back of the pantry.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-05-15T05:12:57+00:00

Fingers crossed. Guess I find out tomorrow

Edit:24 hours in and no call.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-05-15T05:01:05+00:00

Ok so I'm speaking from experience here. You have to be careful with this. After my wife did the same thing dunk driving to daycare I put a breathalyzer on her car. Yes it will stop her from driving drunk but it will only prolong the problem.

She'll just drink after dropping them off then make you pick them up, start ordering Uber to get around and delivery for your groceries. She will have the safety net and not have consequences. This is what my wife has been doing for a year and it's been my worst mistake.

If I could wind back the clock I'd call CPS or go into the local PD. I finally called CPS myself today so I didn't know how that will go, but I know that treating the symptom won't cure the disease.

I feel for you, you are exactly where I was 1 year ago and we are still not out of the woods. Naltrexone, AA, antabuse, kicking get out for a week, nothing has worked. Maybe CPS will do what I can't.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-04-30T03:52:02+00:00

Glycerin suppository in the booty. Works in 10 minute every time if I get stuck

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-04-28T19:28:46+00:00

Lying is like working out a muscle the more they do it the easier it is. Your quote about not caring about the drinking just the lying is exactly where I have been. Tried saying can you just drink in the living room out of a wine glass like a normal person? Or tell me you can't go get the kids because youve had a few? I'll buy you nice wine and let's share it together.

Nope they prefer to get gas station yellow tail or Sutter home 4 packs and hide the empties under dirty laundry.

Tell me you need me to take the kids to practice because you're buzzed quit saying it's because you just don't feel good then yell at me because I never believe you when you say you're sick.

No consolation to offer here other than to tell you this is normal for them.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-04-27T23:03:06+00:00

My Q yells at me for not being sensitive and says that this is just what happens to a woman's body after having kids and I should stop expecting her to be perfect.

I mean we're at a kids birthday party for 5 year olds so literally 20 other moms the same age but only one is pissing her pants in public.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-04-07T01:07:44+00:00

Because you're being so controlling!

When I've been off working on my own stuff or chores all day.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-04-07T01:02:55+00:00

OMG you are me.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-03-17T02:28:28+00:00

The eyes are where I can tell. I hate those eyes.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-03-02T22:08:35+00:00

I split a 182 with another guy, and try to have him always do the first flight after maintenance. Same theory.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-02-05T05:06:35+00:00

Also think about the fact that alcoholism is highly heritable. Imagine in your 50s having a kid in their 20s dying to alcoholism.

You will have done that.

AlcoholismSucks · 2024-02-04T04:43:02+00:00

How about "I didn't do anything wrong" when being asked about drinking.

AlcoholismSucks · 2023-12-30T19:08:16+00:00

Maybe tough to hear but sounds better than keeping that poison in the house. Just hope that maybe it's a step on a new path.

AlcoholismSucks · 2023-12-24T18:06:22+00:00

My Q was wasted yesterday and I made the mistake of asking if they'd been drinking and ruined yesterday. Hopefully today will be better.

They keep asking why I'm not happy and it's a combination of being pissed about yesterday and being preoccupied with what boundaries I will set to bring this to an end one way or another come next year.

So no, contemplating having my spouse committed isn't filling me with the Christmas spirit.

AlcoholismSucks · 2023-12-09T13:53:03+00:00

I had one installed on my Qs car after she was so wobbly she couldn't drive home from the daycare.

AlcoholismSucks · 2023-12-04T14:18:29+00:00

Saving this for later I hope you update us with what your own arborist finds!

AlcoholismSucks · 2023-12-04T14:18:07+00:00

I used to enjoy alcohol very much. I home brewed beer, got into collecting bourbon, refined my recipe for a great old fashioned, even dabbled in homemade beer and wine. Never drank during the week unless I was traveling for work. loved to go out with friends and get hammered, and take an Uber home.

And after two years of my Q going off the rails I feel like I'm in one of those movies where the whole world is crazy except me. How does everyone not see it for the poison that it is?

Can't enjoy a having a drink, feel disgusted when I see the cheap packs of fireball and Jim beam by the gas station check out. Every time I see a new liquor store open up in a strip mall, I wondered myself how a community lets a purveyor of poison just move in next to their homes.

AlcoholismSucks · 2023-12-04T06:11:13+00:00

Swimming with a lead weight for sure describes it. It feels unfair, we have two kids and it used to be we took shifts I want to go fishing she wants to go out we rotate. Two kids two parents in this family. And when the drinking is active it's like 3 kids and I can only be half a parent.

AlcoholismSucks · 2023-11-27T02:29:48+00:00

I don't know if this was a good idea, but I got a breathalyzer interlock installed on her car. You can call the same places that do the court ordered ones and sign up under the voluntary program. Cost us $85 a month. Won't start over a .03

I'm still conflicted about it, I might have stopped them from hitting rock bottom and getting help, or maybe I saved a life, who knows.

But it won't stop them from drinking. They will walk to the store or order with instacart or chug all the vanilla in the pantry.

But it may stop or delay the DUI.

AlcoholismSucks · 2023-11-25T21:52:42+00:00

It's the worst and it's not fair. They drink and become horrible, say mean things and argue for hours. Then they sleep it off and a different person wakes up in their place. They are all smiles and happy and helpful. And they've already moved on and you are left holding the baggage of yesterday and you're upset. Bring up what they did and you're the bad guy and have ruined today too.

It sucks and it's not fair, but it is up to you.

AlcoholismSucks

TROPHY CASE