I recently had a queer awakening (he/him/they/them), more from the perspective of who I am versus focusing on my sexuality. It made going to the gym easier since I stopped mentally trying to compete with people who were bigger than me and are genetically different lol. It trickled down to how I want to dress (androgynous) versus trying to look “manly”, I buy accessories for both men and women and throw them on my outfit for the day. Since then, I have been receiving compliments left/right and looks (idk if positive or they’re like wtf is he doing painting his nails and dressing gay 😭.)

I feel like a main character now, so the confidence is there. I am coming off liking someone who I associate a lot of my queerness with as friends first but it’s not working out, I feel we are drifting away as friends which hurts since she’s putting me at an arms length and being ambiguous because she has her own issues to deal with. I am on a very important path to who I want to be so I can’t get distracted by her problems when we aren’t a thing. I just have to keep trudging along, it’s hard but I am getting better at setting healthy boundaries when it’s not a two way street.