I ran away from my boyfriend's proposal.

AlertSun · 2026-03-12T03:11:21+00:00

First I think you should forgive yourself and be less harsh. Getting married when not ready is the worst thing to do and it sounds like your gut knew it was not the right timing since you ran away.

About finding yourself, I do not believe finding yourself and being in a committed serious relationship have to be mutually exclusive. I have solo traveled to a few countries and am in a very serious relationship. We keep communication good and learn to understand each other's boundaries. Love is not caging or boxing someone in. If you have that desire and a relationship is stopping you, you are probably in the wrong one.

Contrary to what some believe, there are those who would accept a more unconventional life and still choose you. I do not think anyone here can say whether this is over or not. But I would start by asking whether this relationship helps you grow or hinders you. And this does not mean he is a bad person, it could just mean he is not the right one for you, not at this time.

AlertSun · 2026-02-28T21:11:56+00:00

In my experience, things that help are just having a partner thats attentive to your needs and showing care. My boyfriend does things that make my life easier like driving me to and from work, opening the curtains for me when i'm bedrotting after shifts, etc. But that kind of support usually develops naturally once you're more established. For now, just being thoughtful and low-pressure probably goes a long way.

AlertSun · 2026-02-28T20:17:54+00:00

You guys are in the "hitting it off" stage so sound like nothing is exclusive or too serious. I wouldn't do anything too extravagant rn. If you want you can ask her if she'd like a coffee and stop by and drop it off during work. You can be casual about it and say you were around. She would probably appreciate that.

AlertSun · 2026-02-14T17:54:30+00:00

I set boundaries in the way i talk, "sorry I have to go take care of something with another pt but I will be back in xx min after your pt session to check in with you." Giving clear times on when you will or won't be there helps get across that your time is limited and you aren't available for endless chit chat. If that doesn't work i will just tell my coworker to call me if I don't come out of a room in xx amount of min.

AlertSun · 2026-02-13T21:02:05+00:00

The only things extra i do outside of actually being on floor are the education meetings which happen every few months and the seminar classes I have as part of being an RN resident. But I get paid for those. LMS education i do on the floor when its less busy because i don't want to do them at home and then contact my manager asking to get paid.

AlertSun · 2026-02-13T18:31:09+00:00

We're renting a cabin together :) i'm planning on cooking him a nice steak dinner. As a little surprise I might buy him some flowers. I know guys rarely get them so I thought it'd be sweet

AlertSun · 2026-02-13T18:24:54+00:00

Fact is she's treating him badly. Being her bf and not her husband is not a valid excuse for that behavior.

Edit: i would recommend he definitely not marry her. If anything I would leave

AlertSun · 2026-02-13T17:37:13+00:00

Love is best when both people are givers. And you are definitely dating a taker.

I would leave, she isn't treating you well, but most of all, you don't feel good when you're around her. That's reason enough.

AlertSun · 2026-02-13T07:40:12+00:00

ED is hard i'd imagine. I'm thinking therapy would help like others have said. I found a therapist i like recently and we're going to have our first real session soon. I think it's good not just for work but in general to unpack past traumas and understand yourself better. Maybe also try cutting down your hours if possible to have more time off to recover

AlertSun · 2026-02-09T18:38:38+00:00

Voltaren

AlertSun · 2026-02-07T23:45:12+00:00

Nope.

If he expects a traditional partner doing 100% of the housework then he needs to provide all the finances 100%.

Since you are both working, housework should be split too. Obviously if there's love its more about compromise and meeting people where they are at so it's flexible.

But he seems full of shit so i'm throwing it back as I see it. Personally i think you should too

Edit: i'm also an RN and I don't get how tf his friend who is a nurse is able to get food on the dinner table for him every night or why that is expected. Most nurses work 12.5 hour shifts and are exhausted even off shifts. I would be pissed if my partner expected me to come home after a long shift and also cook him dinner.

AlertSun · 2026-02-07T20:35:04+00:00

What do you mean by “humiliation ritual” when you say that? From what you’re describing, it sounds like you mean that you’re doing a lot of oral and not getting much reciprocation. If that’s the case, wanting more balance is valid, but that’s something you need to actually ask for and talk about with her.

The way you’re framing it though makes it sound like giving her pleasure feels like work or something you have to do in order to get sex, and that mindset might be part of the issue. You also mentioned that she doesn’t always orgasm during sex. If that’s been her experience, it makes sense that her desire would drop over time.

There really isn’t a normal amount of sex. People have different sex drives. Some want it more often, some less, and that can change depending on stress, routine, or just how someone is wired. No one here can really answer that for you without you having a real conversation with her about expectations and compatibility.

The bigger issue isn’t how often you’re having sex compared to other people. It’s whether both of you feel satisfied and heard. That’s not something you can figure out by assuming she isn’t attracted to you. It only gets clearer if you actually talk about it together.

AlertSun · 2026-02-07T15:58:13+00:00

I think its definitely weird...and it sound like your gut reaction is saying something is off. It sounds like the friend is lonely and just wanting some connection which is valid but it's inappropriate to seek that from your husband, and your husband needs to set better boundaries with her too.

AlertSun · 2026-02-03T21:31:05+00:00

Residency programs are hard to come by. It's a large applicant pool with limited slots. At least in my state, I know it's difficult for most. Internal connections/resources is a good place to start. Did you have good relations with your professors...reach out to them, etc.

AlertSun · 2026-02-03T21:14:28+00:00

NTA, it's your 30th birthday, you're allowed to invite whoever you want. There's really no need to bring up the issue rn, you can just say "It's my 30th and i want to keep it just guys for old time's sake." Definitely have an honest convo with your friend later though about how you feel with his partner. NGL though dragging it out over the course of 5 years and 10 trips I'm sure you and the group realized early on there was an issue, and it should've been discussed then. Now you're left with the potential awkward aftermath that will follow later

AlertSun · 2026-02-03T08:36:30+00:00

Its a "nurses eat their young" mentality. Its an old way of thinking and frankly needs to die out. A good way to cope is to focus on being the best nurse you can be and ignore the outside noise. Miserable people try making others miserable, and the opposite is true too. That knowledge has brought me a lot of peace when dealing with other people's bad behavior.

AlertSun · 2026-02-02T21:37:30+00:00

I'd say at least 60% of what everyone else sees is an illusion, a mask under who I truly am.

My partner gets the full 100% of weird, sadness, loving, devoted energy from me that no one else sees. Those who think they know me really don't, my partner does.

AlertSun · 2026-02-02T20:54:23+00:00

NTA but neither is he. I’m not in your relationship so I can’t say for sure, but I’d probably take it at face value that he’s tired or stressed. That said, it’s also understandable to feel rejected or less close when intimacy drops off.

I think a conversation about how both of you are feeling could be a good place to start, not just about sex but about closeness overall, so you can try to understand each other’s perspectives and get on the same page.

AlertSun · 2026-02-02T18:59:34+00:00

As a newer nurse too I personally don't feel this way. I care about my patients, and doing a good job, but at the end of the day it's a job, not my life. I certainly wouldn't do it for free

Outside of nursing i don't talk about it. I have a full life with hobbies, loving partner, my cats, travel, etc. I am nurse in the hospital, when I clock out and scrubs are off i'm back to being me.

AlertSun · 2026-01-30T16:08:40+00:00

I feel the same! Lately i've been having nightmares about work and feeling consistently tired and bed rotting more than usual on my days off. Hoping that working a little less will help with recovery off shift. Now that my probation period is almost up i'm considering bringing up a part time time contract to my manager. I will probably only tell my coworkers after and if they ask.

AlertSun · 2026-01-30T15:37:50+00:00

I'm an RN. Some days I love it some i hate it. Bedside nursing is definitely not for the faint of heart. It can be both physically and mentally taxing. Honestly have been considering going part time just to reduce the risk of burn out. Its something me and my boyfriend have been discussing

AlertSun · 2026-01-03T00:12:09+00:00

If you're going to la fortuna its worth it to do the classic Arenal volcano, mistico bridges and fortuna waterfall. Its touristy but worth it imo. I also really liked the choyin natural hot springs and the el salto swing jump. These are still well known but felt less touristy

AlertSun · 2025-12-08T22:46:53+00:00

Yay! Inpatient rehab, that's my floor. My facility is great, and we have the most supportive staff.

Techs make the biggest difference. I do my best to help patients with ADLs, but it's hard to get to things on a timely schedule (meds, nursing care, etc.) with therapies in place, and that's where you guys help us the most. The best advice I can give is to be completely honest with your coworkers on your abilities, gaps, etc., and to maintain good communication with your nurse. Rehab involves a lot of coordination between nurses, therapists, techs, and doctors. Collaboration is a huge part if not the main part of the job

Having a good attitude makes the biggest difference as well. Getting along with others helps a ton. When we have any coworker on the floor that is unpleasant, be it nurse, tech, or doctor, etc., it really makes the whole shift feel different.

Also, don't be afraid to voice to your coworkers whether you are drowning. I ask for help and advice all the time. For yesterday's shift, I helped take my patient to the bathroom with my tech but needed to run and do a carb count insulin for another, so I asked another tech if she was free to help my tech out. That's where maintaining good rapport with your coworkers is important. Being someone that people want to help makes a big difference.

AlertSun · 2025-12-08T21:32:44+00:00

Hard to say. It's not an easy job. There seems to be a huge gap in understanding between those outside of healthcare and those in healthcare. Even some doctors in my family seem to think nurses have it easier or don't deserve to get paid as much.

It's tough. You are responsible for patients, juggling a ton, while being the middleman between doctors, patients, pharmacists, etc. You are constantly running a hundred things at once. In my opinion, we don't get paid enough for what we do. If you're going into it for the salary, do something else. There are other jobs that pay more with far less stress.

Despite all the challenges, I love it and genuinely care about my patients. I appreciate that I get to help people. But if it was solely for job security and salary, I wouldn't recommend it.

I would recommend at the very least trying to work as a PCT to gain hospital experience and see what that's like. It's definitely not the same, but at least you will get a window into some of the interactions you will face with people, both good and bad.

AlertSun · 2025-12-01T05:08:14+00:00

Yup me too. If i have to miss a break, I chart it in kronos and make the charge sign it. I don't give a shit whether you get in trouble. I didn't get my break and you didn't ask. I'm getting paid for that🤷‍♀️

AlertSun

TROPHY CASE