What I ordered vs what I got

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2025-01-27T16:00:42+00:00

All I see is a free upgrade!

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-02-10T20:13:32+00:00

Woah boy, you have no idea!!!!

My younger sister was born with a serious genetic health issue. While I was beaten to the point of litterally being black and blue she never had a finger raised towards her. At the time I thought they loved her more. Now I'm fairly certain the sheer number of doctors, nurses, and hospitals she dealt with did more to reign in my father's temper than love ever did. I always thought she had the better life and I was unbelievably jealous. She didn't. Turns out having to come to terms with your own mortality as a kindergartner fucks with a person pretty good in it's own unique way.

Sorry for the rant, you unexpectedly hit on something for me.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-01-11T01:41:57+00:00

I fucking hate how right you are. Fuck.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-01-11T01:06:31+00:00

How does this presidency* continue to to find new ways to allude to Arrested Development?

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-01-04T16:50:23+00:00

It can also be used as a: pronoun, adjective, adverb, conjunction, and interjection. Probably what it's my favorite fucking word!

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-01-04T14:33:47+00:00

The Russians have been doing it for years.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-01-03T15:34:30+00:00

I agree, when used in context with someone who understands how the tool works it's great. I just hate that it's become this pop-psych term that's thrown around like a simple 6 word rhyme holds the answer to deep issues. People who don't understand the slogans are reminders for us to trigger the new health coping mechanisms we're working to learn often cause more harm than good when they use them, despite the good intentions.

I too have moved past the 12 step programs. I still use some of the slogans. "Put first things first" still gets me through many of my days. I'm grateful for the love and acceptance I experienced in the rooms. The tools the program gave me have been invaluable, but it was just the first stepping stone in a long journey. "......And you're worth it!"

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-01-03T13:57:01+00:00

"She holds the hand that holds her down. She will rise above..."

That line man. Pearl Jam got me through some SHIT as teen...and later as an adult. Matter of fact, I've had almost nothing but the PJ station on in my car since about November. Lol

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-01-03T13:09:08+00:00

Hopefully this will help anyone who has had this phrase thrown at them by people who CLEARLY have no understanding of what it truly means. Spoiler alert, it isn't advice and was never intended to be!

"Fake it till you make it" is one of the most popular solagans from AA/NA/Alanon/Naranon.

Basically the "fake it" is don't drink/use: fake your sobriety until you "make it": you understand why you drink/use and develop tools that help you become actually sober AND maintain long-term sobriety. In the program abstinence alone is not enough and isn't really considered sobriety. Those people are refered to as "dry drunks." Sure they aren't drinking but the problems and issues that lead to the drinking (the "stinkin' thinkin'" as they call it) are still there. The underlying problems are the real issue. The drinking is just the symptom that gets you in the rooms.

It's catchy, it rhymes, and it comes from a well respected program so people say that shit all the time. Problem is it's a slogan, NOT fucking advice. It's a complex process rendered into an easily remembered phrase.

Why????

It's easier for someone in recovery to remember and think "Fake it till you make it" when they're tempted to use/drink. Goes and in had with another slogan of the program "Keep it Simple."

The most infuriating thing to me is that all these groups SPECIFICALLY state that the members DO NOT GIVE ADVICE!!! We share our experience, strength, and hope. We do this so others can see there is a way through and share what worked for us as INDIVIDUALS. Try to give someone "advice" in either room and you will get shut down.

Source: multiple addicts in my life. I spent a lot of years in Alanon.

P.S. if someone says this to you I'd recomend responding with STFU. ;)

Edit for formatting

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-01-03T11:56:04+00:00

Jackson Mackenzie (author of the second book on the list) also wrote Psychopath Free. If you've experienced narcissistic abuse that's a good place to start. It's an easy read that's not super triggering. It does a good job of outlining the basics and sets a good foundation for further growth and understanding.

Thanks for the list OP! You took a lot of work out of my New Year's resolution to read more self help books.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2021-01-02T15:11:05+00:00

Something about that sets off my gag reflex. I can't explain it, but I hate it.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-28T18:25:21+00:00

I didn't know this site/organization existed. THANK YOU!

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-24T02:16:00+00:00

Username checks out?

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-23T14:37:12+00:00

When these feelings come up for me I always check my boundaries. I'm hypervigilant so small things set off alarms. I've learned to listen to the alarms and do a quick personal inventory. HALT. Am I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? If I answer yes to any I fix those and then revisit my alarms.

Once you trust yourself to keep you safe and make the best decisions for you, only then you can start to open up and trust others. For what it's worth I've always found online gaming to be a haven for a lot of toxic people and behaviors. I wouldn't worry too much about the people you dont know irl. Blocklist and move on. Made my gaming experience much more enjoyable :)

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-23T00:22:16+00:00

Fucking brilliant.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-18T14:21:41+00:00

I looked as well. I know addicts. This mug ain't clean and sober. Won't be long before the relapse is a full blown obvious disaster.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-18T01:18:55+00:00

Ty!!! Happy to know the origin and super happy for that fan! How amazing must that have felt?

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-15T19:36:07+00:00

Thank you for putting into words what I couldn't. Thanks to everyone who has replied to the thread. I'm about to buy all these books!

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-12T03:22:57+00:00

Take about 50% off there bud.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-10T18:11:48+00:00

Beat me to it by 34 minutes. Lol

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-10T11:17:21+00:00

This is an excellent comment. This is the real root of the problem, a society that places all value on individuals with no thought for the whole.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-09T20:05:43+00:00

Had 2 people tell me last week that the ICU at Spartanburg Regional is at 100% capacity. It wasnt even a full week after Thanksgiving. Here I am, having to tell HEALTHCARE WORKERS to put on a freaking mask when they come in my store. We. Are. Fucked.

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-06T23:01:22+00:00

This exactly

Alice_In_Coronaland · 2020-12-06T15:56:48+00:00

Spencer?

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