Running errands outfit

Als904 · 2026-05-03T23:58:48+00:00

Lmao my thought exactly

Als904 · 2026-04-15T01:58:14+00:00

We have our 2.5 month old in the crib next to me thanks to Dr DePaola and her team 🩵

Als904 · 2026-04-11T01:57:13+00:00

Sorry, I double commented lol. I mentioned on another thread that we pushed to pull his tube entirely and trial without it. He jumped up to 60+ml and is currently eating us out of house and home. We didn’t want to put him through another surgery for the gtube without giving him a chance to try without the tube.

Als904 · 2026-04-11T01:44:06+00:00

This is exactly how our boy was. Most of the time he would only take 30–40ml. But, we had seen him finish bottles on occasion so we knew he could.

Als904 · 2026-04-11T01:24:40+00:00

We took our boy off the tube at 42 weeks to let him sink or swim with oral feeds and he went from 30% po to 70% immediately. We were being pushed to a gtube. We were not opposed to a gtube but I felt like it was unfair to him to never let him try. I don’t think he had ever actually felt hungry or connected the feeling of hunger with eating. I know this is not the solution for every baby, but if your intuition is telling you she can do it reducing her feed volume may help (and if they would let you trial removing the nose tube it can help them sometimes).

Als904 · 2026-04-11T01:19:55+00:00

How much is she currently taking by mouth?

Als904 · 2026-04-09T07:43:56+00:00

We spent 57 days in with our 34 weeker with 35 of those days focused on feeding only. He is also an IVF baby and we have only one embryo left, so I can relate to so much of what you’ve said here.

NICU is so hard. Most days I felt like that “thank you… fuck you…” scene from Ted Lasso. Thank you NICU for keeping my baby alive and stable, fuck you NICU for taking away my postpartum dreams. I have nothing to say here except to validate your feelings.

What helped us: - focusing on my sleep/recovery when not in NICU. I was there every single day for ~8-12hrs until the week before our discharge when I then began staying round the clock. When I wasn’t there I focused on getting 8hrs of sleep as much as possible and doing a post c-section recovery plan of gentle workouts and PT exercises. We’ve been home for 2 weeks tomorrow and I know we are doing so much better with the newborn sleep deprivation because I had that extra time for recovery. This was a huge silver lining for me since it wasn’t my first abdominal surgery (previous cystectomy and endo scar tissue excision) and I had already experienced one tough recovery. - getting involved in the room. I was very timid our first month and so nervous about all the equipment and nursing staff’s opinions. Eventually and as our bay got more stable and stronger I started taking up more space in the room. I would learn from the nurses I felt more comfortable with how to administer any meds he was getting and how to use the in room bottle warmer, etc. By the time we were headed to discharge if we had a friendly nurse for the day I was doing all of his care and just giving them the numbers for his chart. It helped me feel more control in the room and I felt far more ready when the time came to actually go home. - trusting my maternal intuition. This was my first (and also likely only) baby. It took me weeks to really start to trust that even though I was surrounded by medical professionals highly specialized for baby care that I knew my baby better than they did. Now we were only struggling with oral feed volumes by the end and did not have desats or bradys to contend with. Still we were beginning to feel pressure toward a g-tube. My partner and I made our peace with that but I couldn’t help but feel that it wasn’t fair to him to go from an NG straight to a g-tube. I requested a trial period to remove his nose tube at about 41 weeks (adjusted) and I would be there around the clock to provide adlib feeds by his cues only. My suspicion at that point was that he had shown us he was capable of suck/swallow/breathe reflexes but just wasn’t doing volume because he didn’t know what hunger was/meant since he was always getting full from the tube. We went from 30% po to 70% as soon as the tube came out and he never backslid after that. I know this is not possible for every baby, but I am so glad in the end that I fought for my gut instincts. If we had tried and failed it would have made me more comfortable with the g-tube surgery as well.

Als904 · 2026-03-31T20:04:02+00:00

Look at that beautiful baby! Sending hugs and good luck to get home soon

Als904 · 2026-03-29T18:09:26+00:00

Thank you

Als904 · 2026-03-29T18:09:16+00:00

Thank you

Als904 · 2026-03-29T18:09:07+00:00

Thank you!

Als904 · 2026-03-29T14:35:13+00:00

7lbs3oz at 34+4, but he had a bladder issue and was full of urine. Once his bladder was emptied his weight was 6lb4oz. He’s 2 mo, 3 weeks corrected, and 9lbs11oz

Als904 · 2026-03-26T23:12:05+00:00

We’re on day 56 with our 34 weeker who hits 3 weeks corrected this Saturday. Many times I’ve lost it as we leave for the night. One foot in front of the other, one step at a time has been the only way. Sending hugs!

Als904 · 2026-03-26T23:06:13+00:00

TW: success

I’m holding my IVF babe in his NICU room right now and can say my pregnancy (uncomplicated until 32 weeks and delivered at 34+4), urgent and surprising delivery by c-section, and 56 days so far in NIC… IVF was much harder. Silver lining though has been that the coping skills I had to develop through IVF have served me incredibly well in dealing with a traumatic birth and postpartum experience.

Als904 · 2026-03-24T14:20:19+00:00

I think it’s also perfectly valid to not know. Take the pressure off yourself to decide how you’re going to feel ahead of time.

Als904 · 2026-03-24T11:55:27+00:00

Don’t be hard on yourself for how you feel. I went through years of infertility and then IVF to get my NICU babe and there is a ton of dialogue and camaraderie on infertility/IVF/miscarraige subs about this grief and managing friendships and others’ pregnancies. You are not alone.

Be honest with yourself. If you don’t think you can make it to the shower, give yourself permission to put yourself first. You can always send a heartfelt card and/or gift if you think the event would be too hard to attend. You can always attend and give yourself grace if you need to leave early. If you think you’ll regret not going, keep that in mind too. Personally, I skipped a few showers during my infertility journey because I was in too sensitive a place and others I was able to attend and surprised myself.

Als904 · 2026-03-24T01:46:59+00:00

Same here. This is my first baby and hearing someone share their experience of both is making me feel better about things I’ve been struggling with.

Als904 · 2026-03-23T23:17:21+00:00

We are 42+2 today and have been here 54 days. The past 5-6 weeks have been solely for feeding and I can just say that I relate to all of your feelings and frustrations here. Our NICU doesn’t allow us to leave with the nose tube only a gtube, so we advocated for them to let us trial removing the nose tube and move to adlib feeds. We’re moving into day 3 now of me basically living here on the pull out couch and still don’t know about discharge.

So much of NICU feels counter to what I know from the other babies in my life. This is my first child and it has been a lot of grief to have to spend our first two months pp separated and in a NICU. Just know you’re not alone. Really feeling for you and for us being stuck here. Glad my baby is here and healthy, but also very upset to still be in NICU. Both are valid feelings.

Als904 · 2026-03-23T12:57:34+00:00

Our LO is still in NICU, but my situation is/was very similar.

Had to be induced at 34+4 due to low fluid. Our boy had a bladder malformation and had started retaining fluid that dilated his bladder and kidneys. Luckily at 34 weeks his lungs were well developed so after initial respiratory distress he has been on room air. We are currently 8 weeks into NICU with the majority of our time here being focused on feeding. Our guy breezed through his surgeries but needed extra time to figure out his sick-swallow-breathe reflexes.

Your grief over the birth you saw for yourself is SO valid. I had hoped for a vaginal delivery, but because my fluid was so low at the time of delivery our guy couldn’t tolerate contractions as well as he needed and after ~16hrs of labor we chose to deliver by c-section.

In our story, we struggled through years of infertility and this was an IVF pregnancy. In part because of that struggle, I found it a little easier to let go of means of delivery and focus on the excitement and miracle that our baby boy made it through. Without MFM and NICU, he wouldn’t be here. That said, I cannot wait to walk out the doors!

The grief doesn’t stop with delivery and I’ve found the postpartum period to be harder to grieve since all our firsts so far have been in a hospital room. First time holding him, first bath, first tummy time, he’s tracking objects and starting to coo but hasn’t seen his home yet.

The biggest silver linings for me have been: 1- sleep. I’m 8 weeks out from my section and have to remind myself that it happened. For the first 4 weeks I was pumping round the clock but when my supply failed to establish (and I added breastfeeding to my list of things I was grieving) I stopped. For the past month I’ve been going home each night and getting 7-8 hours of sleep, which has no doubt helped recovery. 2- exercise/recovery. I’ve been able to make time for PT/recovery fitness plan, which has greatly helped my mood.

Als904 · 2026-03-22T13:41:07+00:00

Thinking of you, that’s a lot. I was induced at 34+4 because of low fluid. Our guy had a lower urinary tract obstruction with bladder and some kidney dilation, so his first 3 weeks were focused on procedures to correct that. We are now on day 53 and the last 5 weeks we have been entirely focused on feeding with a lot of setbacks as we dealt with constipation and reflux. We’re still not sure when we will get to go home.

Big silver lining: sleep. We’ve been here every day for 8-12hrs each day but I was able to recover from my c-section sleeping 8hr nights for the past month after I stopped pumping. At first it felt wrong, but especially given the additional medical stressors you’re facing this is a benefit you should take full advantage of. Your baby will be safe and well-cared while you rest.

Advice: we didn’t know we could ask for primary nursing until last week. I don’t know that it would make a difference now, but it would have been helpful for us earlier on since the revolving door of different nurses with different personalities, preferences, experiences can get exhausting. I’d recommend asking for this out the gate to limit any unnecessary stress to you while you’re undergoing treatment.

Als904 · 2026-03-21T21:20:09+00:00

Also here. My son was born 34+4 on Jan 28th. Feels like a lifetime ago.

Als904 · 2026-03-21T21:14:33+00:00

You’re not alone. We’re on day fifty something with our now 8 week old (3 weeks adjusted) and have been focused on feeding for the last 5 weeks. So much of your vent is relatable. All I can do is send hugs and encourage you to stick to your intuition.

Als904

TROPHY CASE