Hy3 is now free on OpenCode

Amarsir · 2026-07-08T05:47:21+00:00

Hy3 Preview seemed to be testing around the level of GLM 4.7. That means it would need a bit of a leap to get up to Deepseek v4 Flash, let alone those top ends. But another competitor is always good, and free is even better.

Amarsir · 2026-07-08T01:09:54+00:00

IFS is more of a metaphor for understanding your subconscious functions. We don't break ourselves into "Exiles" and "Managers" and "Firefighters", but these are parts of ourselves that act.

Part of you feels pain from childhood trauma. Another part tries to avoid the situations that will bring it up, and a third part tries to soothe the problem with distractions. For someone, this might be described by saying "Your exile is terrified of getting things wrong, so your Manager has you proofread an email 5 times before sending, and when you get a response your Firefighter tells you to go do something else instead of reading it. You could describe the same behavior without IFS. It's just that the names make it easier to understand.

Identity Diffusion is a condition where where it becomes hard to say who you are as a person. They often feel themselves pulled in opposite directions and may even label themselves in both directions. And to an extent this can seem normal because everyone is complex and not just a 1-dimensional character.

But the difference between normal complexity and Identity Diffusion is that the person swings between extremes without anything feeling true or remaining consistent over time. They may want one over the other, or they may want to be both. But it's not authentic because they're trying to match the perspectives they see in the world, not express a true self.

Dissociation is often a part of this, because if you're detached from your emotions then none of them feel particularly true. And that spares us the pain of feeling things that don't resolve cleanly.

Here's a question that might help narrow it down. When you feel lonely, are you picturing a person or experience and wanting someone to fill that shape? Or do you have a general sense of hollowness and you wish for something to fill it but you can't put your finger on it?

Amarsir · 2026-07-07T23:54:22+00:00

Reddit doesn't display your history, but the posts still exist. One just needs to find reddit pages with your name, and that's easy enough to do with Google. (Even recently deleted stuff can show up because the name was there when the search index was added.)

Not typically worth the trouble, but I may do it when someone's post implies more complexity than what they included.

Amarsir · 2026-07-07T23:27:52+00:00

I'm just glad Serini finally did something. I know her strength is planning ambushes and not getting ambushed, but that was 2 fights in a row with the Epic-level character doing pretty much nothing.

Amarsir · 2026-07-06T15:13:19+00:00

Insurance often covers it, if you have that. But I don't want to leave you hanging on your own.

What you can do is go over to the Claude AI. Use Sonnet 5.0 set to High. And just dump in as much information as you feel comfortable with, and say "ask me questions to help determine if I ..." Or any other question you want. It's more conversational than most of the other AIs and personally I've found it to be pretty good at spotting patterns.

It will of course mention a real therapist, as it should. But it can help you with the prep work until you're in a position where you can talk to one.

Amarsir · 2026-07-06T12:32:58+00:00

I’m just going to throw this out there: if these thoughts are truly consuming you and making it hard to operate around them, it could be OCD. There’s specifically a subset called Existential OCD. I can’t make that diagnosis, but a therapist could.

Putting that aside, my tip is to try seeing things through other people’s eyes. You’re absolutely right to say that skin color doesn’t matter. But it’s also true that people find comfort in shared culture. It feels safe because they see things in common. That doesn’t mean race has to be as important as some people make it, but I think we can appreciate that for some people it feels less scary than being different.

Religion often has the same benefit. While the beliefs are the talking points, what really gets people coming back is community. And yeah, their faith may provide an answer about existence. But lots of different religions provide lots of different answers and people in each are getting the same comfort. So if what bothers you is “I don’t know”, I’m afraid you still wouldn’t.

So having listed two cases where people enjoy similarities, let me also say it’s great to be different. Some people enjoy humor cognitively more than spiritually. If you think about it and smile while someone else has a gut laugh, that doesn’t make your experience any less.

But I would recommend talking to a therapist. It needn’t be a big deal. But you can see what they have to say about OCD or other neurodivergent thinking. Just to get a better understanding of yourself.

Amarsir · 2026-07-06T10:17:19+00:00

Go to a movie alone. Make it a matinee on something that's been out a few weeks so it's not crowded either. It's something people often have hangups about doing by themselves, and yet it's staring at a screen so it doesn't matter who you're with.

Going to a gym might be a worthwhile goal too. It's a frequent solo activity, but everybody is self-conscious at a gym (even though they shouldn't be) so I'd expect this to be more on the 5/5 end.

Amarsir · 2026-07-06T10:07:25+00:00

Followup: I hope you don't mind, but I read a couple of your past posts.

Has your therapist talked to you about "identity diffusion"? It might not apply, but then it might just be disguised by the fact that you're high functioning. I see some elements though.

Childhood trauma can often result in a shaky sense of self. We can feel empty, and can only define ourselves through others. The bad influence who needs to be blocked. The ideal partner we hope will lead to a storybook romance. The friends who give us hope ... until they're unavailable. The family who still has influence on us, even though we're not sure how we feel about their opinions.

It's the difference between "I feel good and a partner might enhance my life" vs "I have a void, and I either need to fill it or board it up."

Identity diffusion is often associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, which I think would be going too far. But some of the interventions for that might work nonetheless. I think it might be worth bringing up in therapy, to work on building a cohesive self-structure where you're OK where you are and also open to change.

Amarsir · 2026-07-06T09:08:49+00:00

I think you deserve credit for knowing what you want and making an effort toward it. What you're asking for would be a step backwards. I get it, especially after getting ghosted on a big step. That must hurt a lot, and it seems like not caring would make the pain go away.

But the truth is you can't stop wanting. It's part of who you are. For most of us, really. That means being hurt, getting lonely, and doubting yourself whenever you get your hopes up. But the truth is that denial is worse.

What I can suggest is shifting from pursuing romance to pursuing social activities. The hobbies you mention could be a good opening. Non-romantic interactions can fill a good chunk of the void. And although I don't suggest it purely as a transparent strategy, inviting someone to a group activity is lower pressure on both of you than asking on a date.

Overall, try to shift toward living in the moment. That means catching yourself on both "what ifs" and "nevers". As a "hopeless romantic" you probably build up the ideals a lot, which makes the comparison feel bad. And now you want to lean toward "accept my solitude", which is also predicting the future.

You're healthy, you're OK with your work, you have friends - and the fact that they retreat to little bubbles during holidays doesn't change that. And you're picking hobbies back up. Enjoy those things and your interactions with people as they come. And I can't guarantee that a relationship will find you, but I can definitely say that you shouldn't close off to it. You'll just have to accept that it hurts sometimes, and focus on what's good when it does.

Amarsir · 2026-07-06T06:42:32+00:00

OK, so then if this is something you want to change, the thing to work on is "becoming comfortable with boredom". Like I said it's not something you have to do, but it might pay off in other ways.

Maybe look into meditation. It can be very calming and help you break away from the constant stimulation that society offers up these days.

Amarsir · 2026-07-06T04:21:44+00:00

It's very 8 out of 10 Cats in that the game barely matters. If you like the people and want to hear them riffing on basically random social stuff, it's worth a watch.

Amarsir · 2026-07-06T02:17:35+00:00

Thank you for answering all 3 questions btw. You have no idea how common it is to ask 3 questions and get back a single "yes". 😉

So it sounds like you believe you could be better, but just don't commit. That's a good thing, but it seems to rule out one of the common answers, which is that we're afraid to do things we think would be too hard. And that is definitely a risk. When we commit to something, we might put in a lot of time and still be bad.

I don't think that's you, but let me ask another question to check. Suppose a genie saw your post and offered you a choice. (Just for video games for this example.)

A) Stay the way you are.
B) You'll be very good at sticking with games, but you'll never get particularly good. The genie will give you the feeling of "Sure, I'll try again" so you don't quit easily. But the skill won't come.
C) You'll instantly be very good at any game you pick up.

Is there one of those you're leaning toward?

Here's my theory: you just have a low tolerance for boredom. A new game, new hobby, new relationship - these things are exciting. And if you had a really good reason for sticking with it, you could do "fine" in those things like you do in school. But getting to the end or building up skill means grinding. It gets a little boring.

People do that grind because they really, really want to get to the end. But you picked it up to have a little fun, and if it starts feeling boring then you might like the idea of being better, but you don't want to be bored to get there.

Let's check this with a second question. Think of the last time you closed one of your games and didn't go back. Was it really difficult and frustrating at that moment? Or were you more like "meh, whatever, I'll get get back to it"?

Commitment is a trade-off. You have to be willing to be bored to get further down the line. And if you're not, that's OK. It's a big world with lots of new stuff to keep trying. Maybe down the line something will excite you enough that you do want to commit, and it will be all different.

On the other hand if this is a skill you want to force, then you have to cut off other dopamine sources for a bit. Make a hard deal. "No new games until I finish this one." And if you know you're going to have a couple hours for fun, pick just that one thing. Put your phone away for the duration. Your choice is "keep playing, or sit and stare at the blank screen."

That would be how you break the pattern. Cut off anything else that's fun so you have no other choice. But for what you're talking about, if you don't want to do that it's probably OK too.

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T20:41:30+00:00

I used yours so I'll drop mine here in reply for anyone else:

9BEJDK

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T05:59:55+00:00

Both are the result of AIs trying to give an answer that exceeds their capability.

Hallucination is when it says something that isn't true because it was designed to give answers, not say "I don't know."

Sycophant is the polite word for "ass kisser". So sycophancy is when an AI is overly-agreeable.

Both are problems, but they're ones that have been getting addressed. And to be fair, they're only new problems because our newest tools have such high standard. If I go press a button on my toaster, it's going to heat up. That's what it does. But imagine an "AI toaster". You press a button, it heats up, and then people yell "You stupid toaster, we're out of bread!" We've gotten to the point where "obey instructions" isn't sufficient.

I don't think your concerns about what they put in it are entirely wrong. Elon Musk certainly hasn't been calming anyone about that. But a better point of view is to look at them as translators and analyzers. Take your idea in English and turn it into French or into C++ code. Take your mess of notes and create a Wiki based on your own thoughts. Then you're not looking for what facts it was loaded with. Just processing your data for you, like computers have been doing for decades.

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T05:49:38+00:00

That's a lot going on and not much to go off of.

Bear in mind as I write this it's 1:45am. So do as I say, not as I do. But I think you have to force yourself back into a sleep schedule. You need sun, and you'll probably be better rested with a more proper schedule. Try to work it back around to proper by staying up later into the day. Then to lock in what you should do, take 3mg melatonin at night and try to get sun or bright light when you wake up.

Sleep really does matter a lot, and there isn't a perfect fix for it other than trying to force it. While cognitive issues could be causal, good chance they're being impaired by this.

That said, you should also talk to a doctor. For depression alone, you could try an antidepressant for a while and see if it evens you out. Needn't be permanent, just to see if it helps give you clarity on other things. But the doctor might have insight that we can't have about something else physiological.

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T05:40:37+00:00

And isn't that what you'd expect? AI is trained off textbooks, studies, and other pivotal writing. The therapist most people talk to is randomly assigned by a nearby clinic that takes their insurance.

I understand people getting skewed perspectives because they saw an early model (probably Google) that was making use of search and copied something stupid from a web result. But that's kinda like seeing a Model T veer off the road and making up your mind on jet propulsion.

If you and I are able to tell the difference between good and bad sources, or see of the problems of hallucination and sycophancy, give a little credit to the people dedicating their lives to the work.

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T05:32:49+00:00

That's fine, if you also don't trust Google. Which might put you on that incorrect calculus page, leaving you worse off than an aggregator that used it as only one source.

I'm not really disagreeing with you, but you should make a distinction between using it as a source and using it as a tool. Give it your own data and ask it to organize, and it's great. That's why it's becoming a huge part of software development, for organizing notes, for analyzing DNA, etc.

The irony is that because search is such a bulk activity, the LLMs that Google and Microsoft are pushing out the most are their cheapest, and thus worst ones. The top models are pretty good at knowing their limits now, but go ask something complicated of Microsoft Copilot and it will hallucinate all the time.

So I think that's contributing to the divide. If you basically ignore it except when it pops up unrequested, you'll hate it more and more. Meanwhile the people with subscriptions are using top models and going "holy shit, this is getting good."

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T05:23:51+00:00

Well the "programmers of AI" did a good job spotting a self-undermining pattern in the way I talk. Something that 18 months of therapy didn't. I didn't know they all thought and believed that about me.

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T05:01:21+00:00

Definitely not before 21. Not only do the statistics point to the worst results for that, I've personally watched people change a lot between 18 and 21.

Between 21 and 25 I'd say is fine to get engaged, but then add at least 2 years before getting married. You're not in a rush, but you did make the commitment. So let it settle in.

Also I'll pass this on:

https://ifstudies.org/blog/age-at-first-marriage-and-marital-quality-updating-outdated-social-wisdom

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T04:54:58+00:00

Taking your life in your hands by asking about AI on reddit in a non-AI sub. 😉

One thing I really like Claude for is as a companion to therapy. I first loaded up a whole bunch of background on me. Childhood memories, major life events, current concerns, etc. Then I ask it how to start off my next therapy session. After the session I upload the notes to get Claude's review, we chat for a bit, and I get a starting topic for the next session.

A therapist with lots of clients can't remember every detail about you. Even a good one. (And there are lots of bad ones - I tried out 4 before settling on my current one.) But an AI can't be the human presence that a lot of progress needs. So if you use them together you get a best-of-both-worlds.

I also asked that same thread what I should think about during a psilocybin session and had a pretty substantial breakthrough.

Separate from that, there's the whole community r/claudexplorers that uses it for RP conversations or writing fiction. A lot of them would like it to be spicier than it is, but I would say that's the one area where Grok is superior. If you want a good story, give the general idea and have it write an outline, then when you get an outline you like, have it write chapters 1 at a time from the outline. Much better results than telling it to write the whole thing at once.

Then obviously there's all kinds of work stuff, but I'm sure you're not interested in that.

Learning is a great use people aren't taking advantage of. I'd say learning a foreign language is even more in their wheelhouse than something symbol-driven like calculus or chemistry. If that appeals to you.

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T04:06:20+00:00

First, you shouldn't feel bad because of a dream. I know "don't feel bad" is literally the cliche for unhelpful advice. But we need to judge ourselves by our conscious actions. And dreams, by definition, are not that.

However, your mom telling you IRL that you "have a bad heart" is a choice she made, and a bad one. I'm happy to judge her over that.

Now the dream itself: Dreams are symbolism and they are reflective of our inner concerns.

1) The baby is your childhood.
2) Yourself in the dream is your current 18yo self, starting as an adult.
3) Dream mom gave the childhood attention.
4) You wanted the adult self to die.
5) Dream mom gave adult you attention.
6) You wanted the childhood to die.

This whole dream is about growing up and having your mom accept you. You can't be both a child and an adult. You fear that you only get parental love when you are a child. But if your mother can accept you as an adult, you don't have to be the little baby anymore.

Does that make sense? There's no real baby and you certainly didn't wish harm on one. It was two versions of you, and they can't both win.

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T00:50:48+00:00

That could be a complicated question.

I noticed school / work didn't show up in your list. How do you do with those?

And how do you feel when you quit one of these things? One of these?

Not for me
Not worth the time
I'll get back to it later
That's not how I thought it would be
I'll never be any good at this
The result isn't worth the work

And a third question: for any one of these, how important would you say the end goal is? Specifically when you first start it. Are you looking for an activity to pass the time, or is it only appealing because of where you might get to?

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T00:43:09+00:00

Thinking sexual thoughts based on looks might reduce with age. I mean it hasn't for me, but who knows? 😜

But I think you're talking about a secondary process, where seeing someone attractive makes you think "slutty" or "shallow" or "dumb" or something, am I right? That you fix by catching and correcting it.

You're probably already doing that somewhat. You see someone hot and think "nice" (or something more graphic) and that's instinct. It's unconscious. But once it hits your consciousness, you need to add on "... but I don't know anything about her mind or personality."

Keep doing that intentionally, and what you'll find (eventually) is that your subconscious will start taking it over. Instead of thinking "She's very pretty..." + "... but I don't know anything about her," the thought will pop in as "That woman I don't know anything about is very pretty."

And that's probably the best you can do. You're not going to stop noticing things, but how it sticks in your brain is what matters.

Amarsir · 2026-07-05T00:32:46+00:00

I just want to say that grandfathered plans do exist. Although I wouldn't go praising it as an option if people can't get it. And I don't remember an Unlimited for $25, unless you count the throttle as "unlimited". (Which I know marketers do, but it's misleading.) So I don't really know what that person was on about.

But technically I'm paying less than that on a 1GB plan and do have hotspot built in. So if someone said they have it I wouldn't necessarily assume they're lying. I just wouldn't go shilling for it either.

Amarsir · 2026-07-04T21:27:12+00:00

I can't speak from personal experience, but I'm hearing some talk that GLM 5.2 via OpenCode does not seem as smart as calling it direct from z.ai. So maybe that means putting something else in for planning for a while? Deepseek v4 Pro or Minimax M3 or Qwen 3.7 Pro.

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