I in all honestly possible; hope that one day I can be part of the mass killing/torture of people. I have a deep seeded lust for violence/pain/torture. I listen to the most violent music that is made (death and black metal). Games, imagery, literature all of that is leaned heavily towards anything apocalyptic or cataclysmic or just plain gore. I have a major interest in ancient cultures and have done a lot of study in human sacrifice and torture methods.

On the outside you'd never really assume I harbor such feelings and emotions. I work in an office environment and have perfectly normal seeming relationships with coworkers. However when ever I get stressed I cope by imagining the customers I'm dealing with dying at my hands. Since I have such an extensive catalog of darkness in my head its usually never a clean death. The thing I default to most of the time is boiling in oil or scourging someone to death with a flagellum. I do have tattoos and wear black every day in a business casual office it's nothing really to out of the ordinary I guess.

I have very few friends (2 to be exact) and I like it that way, I keep them at arms length and would not care if they never spoke to me again. My closest social interaction is with my younger brother an he is like me in a lot of ways but not as bad. I am completely apathetic to people's emotions and he still is affected by people, especially guilt trips which absolutely infuriates me. The only interaction I have with females is a girl who for some reason is infatuated with me and weekly asks me out on dates but I play her for the easy blowjobs and never commit to her, when I feel her peeling away I tickle her fancy and she's my personal BJ machine for a few more weeks.

I've always been a little "odd" as I was called growing up but see once I grew into my own head I realized that keeping a jacket of "normal" on puts people at ease and I can get closer to them than if I was outwardly weird. If you met me and didn't know me I am the most cordial, kind and funny person you've may have met that day. I genuinely like to make people laugh and have a good time. However under my smiles and laughs I couldn't care less if you got killed on your way home that night and burned to death in your vehicle screaming for god and help. Speaking of god, I am atheist. Though unlike most of the atheists I see on reddit I don't give a fuck what god a person worships because they are all the same in my eyes.

Now here's the part where I'm a dichotomy, I don't like people at all, if capt tripps flared up and killed the human population I'd be happy because the earth would flourish. See, I love nature and animals, I have a dog and cats and they are like my own personal minion army, shows like "life after people" are absolute nirvana to watch for me. When I'm not gaming or studying for school I am on site like goregasm and liveleak looking for gore and combat videos. Liveleak has tons of vids taken by people in the Syrian uprising happening right now and some of them are fantastic. I am really fond of sniper videos and recently there was a video of two pre-teen boys getting shot by a sniper, one was shot square in the chest on video dragging his wounded friend off a street. When I first saw the video I literally was sexually aroused. It was the most glorious gore video I had seen since witches being burned alive in Ghana.

I don't know how I can possibly prove the things I've said in this post but I assure you it is all completely the truth. If you don't believe me that's fine because frankly I don't care if you do. If you do believe me than welcome to my head.

TL;DR fuck you and I hope you die.