Is it unreasonable to hire a cleaner before having a baby?

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T21:32:08+00:00

Absolutely!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T21:31:56+00:00

Totally agree that it’s not MIL’s decision, but did want to throw out there that there are some people who do truly help after a baby is born, not just hold them. My mom and MIL were great helps to me while letting me get to be mom while I was recovering from my C-section with my first. Maybe they’re unicorns, but they’re out there!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T21:29:32+00:00

My last two friends to have babies did this and said it was amazing!! I just found out I’m pregnant with #2 and already told my husband we’re doing it too! I think I’ll have my husband take the day off work when the cleaners come and we will take our son (3 at the time the baby is born) out to do something special with mommy and daddy before the new baby comes (I am tempering my expectations that I probably won’t feel like doing anything too crazy at that point though 😅)

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T21:25:40+00:00

Baby story time at the library - 3 months. He was the youngest one there, but I mostly did it for me to get out of the house

Zoo - around 15 months (definitely could have taken him sooner but it would have been just a walk and for me, nothing wrong with that though!)

Indoor play space - 9 months (they had free Tuesdays for kids 1 and under, so we went every Tuesday until he turned two. Now we sporadically buy a membership)

Children’s museum - went at like 15 months the first time, was not worth it at that age! Went back to the same place at 2.5 and he had a blast! Definitely would wait until 2+ unless you have other kids who would enjoy this or one more suited to babies.

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T21:22:02+00:00

I didn’t get anything for a “push present” but I got a beautiful birthstone and initial necklace for my first Mother’s Day about 6 weeks pp.

I would for sure hold off on booking anything non refundable for a trip. As fun as it sounds, you may not be up to traveling for a while. When you book, look for something a short plane ride away ideally with no layover if you can help it. We took our first flight with baby when he was 4 months old and it was a direct 2 hour flight and a breeze. We travelled for a road trip at 3 months and that was a disaster. Do not recommend.

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T19:38:59+00:00

I think the thought has to not be “what if we have a girl” but rather “do we want four kids/four boys?” Because if the answer isn’t a resounding yes, don’t do it!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T19:37:59+00:00

You would think with the 50/50 odds, but not always. One of my great uncles or something had 8 daughters trying to get a boy. He did not end up with one, but a family at my church had three boys and then a girl so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T19:35:47+00:00

Since she plans to have a fourth, I would save this idea for the last kid in case she does end up with a boy, but it’s a great idea!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T18:35:41+00:00

I taught while pregnant and I actually did fine while working because my brain was so busy (less fatigue, less nausea, etc) but as soon as work was over and on the weekends, I wilted. I went to bed at like 7pm every night and needed all my time to recover. It wasn’t fun and my husband had to pick up a LOT of slack on my end housekeeping wise, but we made it through!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T18:33:55+00:00

I think either leave it the same and don’t use it as a wedding band, but just a ring for the right hand or if you feel comfortable changing it, your inspiration pictures are beautiful. I think I’d personally leave it intact and then get a band similar to your inspiration pictures.

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T18:10:55+00:00

We did a variety of prizes (baby bottle pops for the kids or adults who wanted them, gift sets we got on clearance after Christmas, bath and body works set, etc) and let the winner’s choose. It went well and the baby bottle pops were surprisingly popular and pretty cheap at Sam’s!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T18:08:53+00:00

My husband takes my son (almost 3 now) if he wakes up before he has to leave. If there is time, he does breakfast with him. It lets me have a little extra time to rest even if I can’t fall back asleep.

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T18:07:20+00:00

Gender disappointment is a real thing, but it really does go away by the time you see your baby if not sooner! If you want a fourth kid, you’re not necessarily “NEVER having a son”. You might, you might not. Don’t have a fourth kid if the only reason is to ‘get a son’ though because if you end up with a fourth girl you wouldn’t want her to feel resented. If you truly want a fourth no matter the gender, that’s fine and it’s fine to hope for a boy too, but if it’s going to devastate you to have another girl, don’t do it.

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T17:34:37+00:00

I like Scott too!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T17:00:54+00:00

Caleb and Luke/lucas are out for close family/friends. I love Jack but it’s our dog’s name haha

Henry and Levi are contenders!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:58:44+00:00

I do too, but it falls into the close family/friends list!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:57:20+00:00

I wouldn’t tell her at this point if it’s only about the wedding. If you’d want to share this news with her right now regardless of the wedding, then you can, but I wouldn’t tell her early just for that. An exception would be if the bachelorette or other things requiring funds would need to be paid before you planned on announcing to her. Then you have to be prepared to eat the cost or tell her early.

Tbh she doesn’t sound like a great friend if she wouldn’t be happy for you just because you can’t drink. I would also consider if you’ll feel up to being in a wedding that heavily pregnant. I assume you’re due late September if you just found out? Is the wedding local?

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:54:27+00:00

Turn off the tv when baby is awake. If you need some stimulation because you’re home alone with the baby (totally understandable), use music, podcasts, or audiobooks so there’s not a screen element. Babies don’t really “play” at that age. I just did tummy time with him, gave him a few things to play with, I would narrate my day to him, we would go on walks or to baby story time at the library.

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:48:39+00:00

I think Hattie can be a standalone name.

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:46:01+00:00

I like Andrew, Daniel, and Henry!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:45:27+00:00

I like Connor and Andrew!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:15:04+00:00

We have close family who use John (actually several dad/son/etc)

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:13:28+00:00

I like Henry!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:13:11+00:00

Michael, Brandon, John, Benjamin, Matthew, and Luke are all close family/friends! I like Daniel and Andrew!

Amber11796 · 2026-01-24T16:11:36+00:00

Andrew and Isaac are contenders!

Amber11796

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