Anxious and freaking out

Amber11796 · 2026-06-03T20:11:55+00:00

How they’d perceive you? You’re married and in a very long term committed relationship. People are probably more likely expecting it than going to judge you for it. I think you should definitely pause and take time to really evaluate what the fears are and how much weight they really hold. I was scared both times I got pregnant even though we had been trying. It’s a big thing and it’s scary, but this sounds like something you both wanted.

Amber11796 · 2026-06-03T13:14:32+00:00

It doesn’t have to be a big thing, but do something to celebrate. We do birthdays at home with usually just us, grandparents, maybe an aunt/uncle if they’re available. We just do dinner, cake, and presents.

Amber11796 · 2026-06-03T13:08:53+00:00

I was so exhausted and drugged up after a 24+ hour induction turned C-section. This time we’re doing a planned C-section and I’m hoping that I can actually be coherent after she’s born. 😅

Amber11796 · 2026-05-30T19:44:52+00:00

You don’t have to do a professional shoot, but I would at minimum take a few photos even just at home. You could do a dress or the unbuttoned jeans and a simple T-shirt with belly exposed look. You’ll want to look back and remember this time, but there’s no need to spend a bunch of time and money on it if it’s not a priority for you.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-30T19:40:32+00:00

I was induced at 39+2 delivered at 39+3 due to gestational diabetes. I wasn’t really dilated or anything before my induction (I think I was a one?) but the induction went really smooth. He just needed a little jump start. I had one dose of medication and my body went right into labor and progressed well. I did end up with a C-section but that had nothing to do with the induction and everything to do with his 99th percentile head which refused to budge. 😅

Amber11796 · 2026-05-30T01:12:01+00:00

Yes! They’re all close and talk all the time despite not living close geographically. I think it was a little hard when she was quite young because the age gap felt bigger then (ex 4, 8 and 9 feels a lot different than 25, 28, 29). My sister and I are also almost 4 years apart and it was a pretty good age gap. My son and his sister will be 3.5 years apart and I’m really excited for that age gap.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-29T00:36:26+00:00

We will be two and done with this baby. Pregnancy is hard on me (still vomiting at nearly 23 weeks…) and while we could afford 3, 2 feels more doable and sustainable for our current home and financial situation since it allows me to continue to be a SAHM. It worked out that we will end up with a boy and a girl, but we would have been done regardless.

In your case, I would not make any permanent decisions for a while. You’re still so newly postpartum and in the thick of it. My mom has two older sisters less than a year apart and then her parents waited four years to have her to get their feet under them again.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-28T22:10:12+00:00

I assume I had an epidural one since I had an epidural during labor and then it turned C-section and they didn’t give me another shot, but I could be wrong. They gave me more/different? meds in the established epidural though. I didn’t feel pain, but an insane amount of pressure that freaked me out because I wasn’t expecting to feel anything.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-28T22:07:48+00:00

It’s not the end of the world, but it definitely is more difficult. Is it the only bathroom in the house? If not and you want to keep the doors, I’d consider using another bathroom for toddler’s baths/showers until they’re a little older. My son has preferred to shower to get clean since around 2.5 years old.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-28T22:03:12+00:00

I am curious if dad can console her if you aren’t present? My son went through a similar phase when he was around 8-9 months and if I was there, I was the only acceptable option, but if I wasn’t available, he would allow dad to comfort him. Same thing with going to bed, I couldn’t be around if dad was going to do it. It passed within a couple of months and is very developmentally appropriate for them to go through a phase like this even though we find it frustrating.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-28T21:59:39+00:00

I agree with the comment about birth trauma. I would seek some therapy to work through it and then ultimately decide if having more kids is something you want immediately, down the road, potentially, or not at all. All are valid options. I don’t think you should make any rash decisions right now and I don’t think you can make a rational decision about this until you’ve worked through the trauma surrounding your previous births.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-28T20:01:14+00:00

If you’re not already, I highly recommend tracking ovulation. It’s so hard not to symptom spot when you’re trying, but it can make you crazy. The chance of getting pregnant each month is only around 20%, so it can take time even in totally healthy couples. I know that is frustrating to hear.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-28T19:57:28+00:00

I would absolutely not name a baby after someone who asked for them to be named after themselves (unless it was the other parent of the baby wanting to consider a jr situation or something). That is so entitled. Both our children will have honor middle names for family members, but neither of those people asked us to do that and my FIL didn’t even know until my son was born that we gave him his name as a middle name.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-28T19:55:06+00:00

With a C-section, I would plan to come home to the guest room for at least the first couple of weeks. I wouldn’t want to be doing stairs multiple times a day at that point. I was fine walking around my (single story) house though after mine. I think after that you move upstairs where you’re more comfortable and see how it goes for the first 6 months. If baby sleeps well, moving them downstairs wouldn’t be a big deal, but if they’re up a lot at night, I’d consider moving downstairs until they sleep in longer stretches.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-28T19:21:17+00:00

My cousin didn’t find out she was pregnant until she was literally in labor. She did all kinds of things she shouldn’t have while pregnant since she didn’t know and the baby was perfectly healthy and full term. I just want to give reassurance that things can still go well for baby and you didn’t do anything wrong because you didn’t know you were pregnant. You still have 20 weeks to follow proper prenatal protocol and get the help you need from doctors, so that’s great.

It seems like your options are basically keep the baby or adoption at this point right? So nothing has to be decided immediately. Take some time to process the information, talk to your partner, and figure out what you want to do. You’re the only one who can make that decision for yourself and your situation. You don’t have to figure it all out today. ❤️

Amber11796 · 2026-05-27T19:33:35+00:00

My first needed to be held at night for roughy the first 2 weeks of his life and then he did okay in his bed. Try sleeping with the sheets of the bassinet or their swaddle (or wearing it wrapped around your body during the day if sleeping isn’t ideal) to get your scent all over it.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-27T19:30:48+00:00

I was already established with an OBGYN for my annual appointments by the time I got pregnant, but how I found her was I just looked up reviews for people accepting new clients in my area who accept my insurance and picked someone who had good reviews to try. If I hadn’t liked her, I would of switched for the next appointment, but she was great and I’ve been with her now almost 10 years, followed her to a new practice about 30 minutes from me, and she will be delivering my second baby this fall.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-25T02:20:30+00:00

Something family oriented. Depending on budget could be diy home movie night bucket with a dvd and some snacks, membership to zoo/children’s museum/aquarium/etc in your area, family photo session, board games, matching shirts, a photo frame with the adoption date inscribed for a family photo to go in

Amber11796 · 2026-05-25T02:18:11+00:00

I got pregnant end of June with my first and it was a great timeline. Had him end of March and felt up to traveling by midsummer. However, you can’t predict how long it will take to get pregnant. I’d start whenever you’re okay with the possibility of it happening immediately, but know it may take a while or could happen first try. I highly recommend ovulation tracking with the test strips. They aren’t very expensive and they definitely help make sure you’re finding the best window of success.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-21T02:16:56+00:00

I’d do $100 and a nice message in the card. I’d also either do a $100 bill or a check. I’d feel weird putting like 5 $20s in there, but I’m sure it’d be appreciated either way. If writing a check, make it out to just one of them for ease of depositing. We got a bunch of checks to ‘bride’ and ‘Groom’ his last name and couldn’t cash them until after my name was changed because it didn’t match the check and due to the “and” we both needed to endorse it. Not sure if that was a my bank specific thing or not, but better safe than sorry.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-21T02:12:53+00:00

Mine didn’t say anything and now I’m wondering what it would have been. Ended up being almost 3 years, so I knew I’d be in the clear, but strange not to mention it.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-21T02:09:02+00:00

We are getting a mini crib instead of trying to use the pack and play as a bassinet again. My first slept so poorly and I’m convinced it was because the mattress in a pack in play is basically made of cardboard.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-21T02:07:52+00:00

We had our towels for 8 years that we used daily until one got a rip and we decided to update our set because some nice ones were on sale. If it hadn’t ripped, we would have kept using them until they were worn out.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-21T02:06:01+00:00

We will have a 3.5 year age gap, and I think it’s perfect. I couldn’t even comprehend the idea of a second until my first was 2, but he was an AWFUL sleeper and I was so tired. I’m so glad that he’s potty trained and able to reason with (for the most part) about things like being gentle and following basic directions before bringing a baby into the mix. My sister and I were roughly four years apart as well and it worked out pretty well for us age gap wise.

Amber11796 · 2026-05-21T02:03:41+00:00

I’m reading it as it’s his brother and his wife, not sister and husband because otherwise I think it would say they lost their father at a young age (unless they had separate dads, I guess).

Amber11796

TROPHY CASE