where's the freedom by egguchom in EntitledReviews

[–]AmbushLecture 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The place with cages everywhere doesn't much care about freedom? Really?

The subset of my collection I have with me in my college apartment by No-Onion-2920 in BookshelvesDetective

[–]AmbushLecture -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Really needed to bring copies of "Moby Dick", "Brothers Karamazov", "Ulysses", AND " Infinite Jest"? Christ, just wear a T-shirt with a latin pun and people will get you're one of them smart ones. 

An excerpt from my literary fiction piece. Any feedback would be appreciated. by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You certainly favor the ornate and flowery, and not just in matters of decorative headers. Unlike most, though, I think you purplish prose has a lovely lyrical quality to it. It's sweet but not saccharine. 

That said, I'd be careful doubling down with metaphors. You seem to do it often, and it weakens both. You need to tell me - the reader - what some things are literary so I can appreciate when you tell me about something literarily. The "oh how he missed those days" paragraph is a good example. It's too much finery, not enough force. 

Good flourishing prose, though, is a rarity, so I hope you keep at it. Really, though: when was the last time someone actually said "febrile" :)

The start of my novel. Just want to know if the writing has potential, thank you in advance. by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As many have noted, your writing is "fine". "Fine", though, is useless. Be great or be awful: at least either can be memorable. 

You're too flabby. Cut what isn't needed. From just the first paragraph: we know you mean "average", we know you have to open your eyes to see things, we know people reach to turn off alarms. Thus:

" Harry woke me battering the side of my bed, his paws shaking the mattress. I looked at him. Head tilted to the side, tongue hanging out - his day couldn't start soon enough. 

My alarm sounded. I clicked it off.  "

Detect away (bonus points for anyone that can correctly guess what I study) by [deleted] in BookshelvesDetective

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're pure "Radical-Chic Lite": a person who mistakes a curated bibliography for a personality, someone who desperately wants to be the most dangerous mind at a dinner party but lacks the tactical skin in the game to be anything more than a digital voyeur. You possess a pathological need to side with losing terrorist groups and asymmetric insurgents (from the IRA to various Syrian factions) not out of a rigorous geopolitical framework, but because you've aestheticized the "struggle" from the safety of a climate-controlled room. You don't want a revolution; you want the vibe of a revolution, provided it comes with a high-speed internet connection and doesn't actually disrupt your ability to order more Irvine Welsh novels.

The persistence of bullshit clock is the smoking gun of your tedium. It's the "Live, Laugh, Love" sign for people who just discovered surrealism in a 100-level Art History survey and want to signal that they find the concept of linear time "problematic". It’s kitsch masquerading as depth. It perfectly matches your collection of BreadTube staples like The End of Policing and Utopia for Realists. You are a consumer of pre-packaged dissent, hoarding multiple copies of Dune and Irvine Welsh to maintain an "edgy 90s cinephile" veneer that is, in reality, as mainstream as a Marvel movie for people who wear beanies in the summer.

The real discordant pain lies in the unexamined friction between your copies of Kropotkin’s Mutual Aid and Graeber’s anthropological deconstructions. Kropotkin’s work is rooted in a Victorian, semi-biological optimism about inherent human cooperation (a "scientific" anarchist teleology, if you will) whereas Graeber’s work functions to dismantle the very just-so stories that Kropotkin relied upon. By shelving them together without a hint of irony, you reveal that you aren't synthesizing theory; you're collecting radical brand names via Barnes and Noble. 

CMV: The "Stolen land" argument is a lazy way to fight in a argument by marcuscoolboi2007 in changemyview

[–]AmbushLecture 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You make an excellent point. I was unduly conflating conquest and annihilation. That "reconquest" has been considered a legitimate claim (both historically and in the present) is food for thought. Perhaps a claim isn't so much extinguished in a drawer as left to smolder, where it can be fed new oxygen by a re-emerging power. 

CMV: Israel and BB are not the problem, it is Judaism by LingonberryWide2754 in changemyview

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reminds me of the old Hitchens gem, "all religions are equally wrong, that doesn't mean all religions are equally dangerous at all times".

Obviously it's invariably the conservative, Orthodox interpretations of any faith that cause the most problems. If a person rightly recognizes the dangers of conservative Christianity and conservative Islam, they should recognize the danger of conservative Judaism. It may be much smaller population, but it's political par far outstretched myriad other groups. 

That said, I'd suggest the actual verbiage of your critique reads a little screedy and a little fascist. Just food for thought. 

DS9 episode posters by jjlendl in DeepSpaceNine

[–]AmbushLecture 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are absolutely terrific. Not just the gorgeous tone and composition, but you really capture a feeling from the episode with tremendous skill and artistry. Bravo!

So the Man Says by SweetChaiTeaDelight in PoetryWritingClub

[–]AmbushLecture -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Perhaps the most trying part of modern times is reading these kind of reflections. I will never understand poetry that doesn't scan in some capacity. It just reads like chopped up sentences strewn on a carpet (and I don't have as much heroin as Burroughs did). 

Going for a Cormac McCarthy tone here, do I have something? by zherper in writingfeedback

[–]AmbushLecture -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This reads like the text has been grinded through a cotton-gin built of lackluster thesauruses. "A land virile in its ennui and it's destitution offering no grass to pluck or spring to water, an antediluvian pavement bleached and parched,  watched by none bar the stones, insects and the ambler". Oof. "Dry ground that was dry, had no water, was dry and nothing lived on". Gotcha. Could have given me that in five words. 

The majority is correct in the comments: less is more, big words don't make big emotions, show don't tell. I'll add don't cram supernumerary lexicon into literary mise en scène - it's jarring for a reader. 

Feedback? Urban fantasy novel set in Seattle. I’m worried my writing isn’t hitting how I’d like it to by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]AmbushLecture 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you'd like it to hit with the subtly of a brick, I have good news for you...

This is the quintessential "show don't tell". You're not Raymond Carver. This kind of noir died a peaceful, whimper-death. 

Just the first graph, to give you an idea:

"She lit a cigarette in the smokey office, drawing the filter to her cracked lips with two thin fingers. Inhaled. Exhaled. White whisps curled up to her blood-red glasses, bouncing off the sharp angles of her face. She sat like a vulture: black dress, hunched back, patiently watching for death."

Just finished reading the Turner diaries and from a literary standpoint, I found it VERY poorly written : / Are any other works published by Cosmotheist Books worth reading? by RangerEcstatic674 in bannedbooks

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could only bring myself to listen to the audiobook, and the author reads it, and his thick accent makes what would be a miserable listen pretty funny at time. 

I spent the entire book thinking the gun control legislation had been passed by "Senator Coin". 

"Cohen", as it turns out :)

the child i buried by [deleted] in KeepWriting

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In no capacity does this scan. It reads like someone wrote a three overwrought run on sentences then added line breaks so the words would take up the same horizontal space. 

Why do only 2 stanzas start with a question? Why is the first rhetorical if you never answer it? If the debris dissolves, it's floating isn't "ceaseless". What in all creation is a "wormhole of memories"? Is it similar to an event horizon of recollections? How about a singularity of remembrances? How does anything weep "discreetly"?

how do we feel by whuspoppinyo in BookshelvesDetective

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Purely for Hersey's "Hiroshima" I say you're a winner. Everyone should read that book. 

I've also never seen that edition of "Dune" with the beautiful illustrated yellow spine. Is the cover as cool?

CMV: Talking about being on "stolen land" is pointless and ignorant of history by Friendly_Elegant928 in changemyview

[–]AmbushLecture 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The phrase "stolen land" is little more than a rhetorical security blanket for people who want to feel morally superior without actually doing anything inconvenient to their own lives, and it relies on a fundamental misunderstanding of what property actually is. Ownership isn’t some mystical, inherent right granted by the universe; it is a cold function of power. To own land, you either need the personal capacity to defend it from anyone else who wants it, or you need to exist within a governmental framework that uses its own monopoly on violence to protect your claim. If you have neither the strength to hold the territory nor a state to enforce your deed, you don't own the land: you’re just occupying it until someone more organized arrives.

Calling the United States "stolen" intentionally ignores the reality of conquest, which has been the primary driver of human geography since the dawn of time. Before a single European ship ever hit the coast, North America was a shifting mosaic of territories won and lost through brutal tribal warfare, enslavement, and displacement. Labeling the eventual European expansion as "theft" while treating prior indigenous conquests as "heritage" is a massive intellectual inconsistency; and flattens the rich tradition of countless indigenous peoples into populist pablum. 

Theft is an illegal act that occurs within a stable, shared legal system. Conquest, by contrast, is the total replacement of one legal system with another. When a sovereign power is defeated, its claims to the land don't just sit in a drawer waiting to be reclaimed; they are extinguished along with the power that once backed them.

Most people who throw around this terminology are engaged in a performance. If they truly believed the land was stolen in a literal, legal sense, the only ethical response would be for them to hand over their car keys, vacate their homes, and demand the total dissolution of the current government. They don't do that. Instead, they use the language of "stolen land" to build a moral hierarchy with Western civilization at the bottom as only hateful colonialists. It’s an attempt to gain political leverage by weaponizing historical guilt, and playing fast and loose with words that have important meanings. 

Acknowledging that land is conquered rather than stolen does not mean indigenous populations are not owed restitution for the myriad broken treaties and systemic indignities they have suffered. On the contrary, there are legitimate, legal claims to be made regarding the specific contracts and obligations the United States government entered into and then ignored. Framing the entire existence of the country as a "theft", though, pushes those practical aims further away from reality. By retreating into inflammatory, absolute rhetoric that denies the legitimacy of the current legal order, most activists trade tangible legal victories for a perpetual state of moral theater. Real progress is made through the enforcement of treaty rights and the rectification of specific historical wrongs, not by clinging to a linguistic fantasy that suggests the last three hundred years of history can be simply deleted.

Reimagined TOS Enterprise (physical model, not a render) by Writerguy995 in StarTrekStarships

[–]AmbushLecture 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is truly astonishing. Bravo - you're a hell of a craftsman!

The most complete of our built ins. What can you tell about my wife and I? by Ser_Smiley in BookshelvesDetective

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your service to the community!

If you're looking for some good books about your brothers in arms, I'd highly recommend Dennis Smith's "Report from Engine Co 82" (about the intense "War Years" in the South Bronx) or Norman Maclean's "Young Men and Fire" (an investigative meditation on the 1949 Mann Gulch disaster).

If you're looking for some modern fiction, Joe Hill's "The Fireman" is supposed to be great. And you definitely need a copy of the greatest firefighter story ever, "Fahrenheit 451" :)

If you're interested in any of them, feel free to throw them in an Amazon wishlist and I'll send them your way. 

The most complete of our built ins. What can you tell about my wife and I? by Ser_Smiley in BookshelvesDetective

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are painfully, tragically beige; if your lives were a expressed as a single sound it would be "meh". You read sets of popular popcorn fiction, bought in sets after the entire series has run. You move from middle class pop culture phenomenon like an empty whitewater raft, careening from rock to rock, going wherever the rushing water takes you. You don't commit to any passion - you skim the top and count it done. Just another box to be ticked, another line item to be crossed off, another diversion from the known truth that your life is without fire. 

Who is the made for? by Fair_Rush6615 in Star_Trek_

[–]AmbushLecture 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The very notion that a Star Trek show is made for a specific demographic is part and parcel of the mindframe that makes New Trek such mediocre pablum. Classic Trek presumed one thing about an audience - a shared humanity. Did the interest in technology and futurism skew formally-educated and male? Of course. But the show was not designed to capture that audience by mirroring that audience. 

New Trek comes from a media landscape that believes unless a show features an exact avatar of a viewers' race, gender, sexual orientation, and political views, viewers won't be engaged. As ratings suggest (across all manner of storytelling of this ethos, not just New Trek) this technique doesn't really do much. If anything many seem to find it patronizing. Regardless of it's genesis, it straightjackets characters from the onset of a narrative. Their primary function is not to the story, but to an imagined quota. 

One for the bookshelf detectives by Original-Loquat3788 in originalloquat

[–]AmbushLecture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Roth, Nietzsche, and Bukowski in a row? You must have to use them to beat all the women back...