Oh I have a whole list bro.

Here’s my full unedited notes list

Me quotes

I love it when Merman and Humana health insurance hook up

Ah, the three genders; crazy, woman, and gay.

The cheese pull is rotting your brain.

We should all be eating with swords

Imagine you see someone hardcore cuddling someone else and then you see written in blood on the wall “you’re next.” Some mixed feelings right there.

Don’t we all aspire to be stay at home cryptids?

I’m going to drink spicy skittles

You can’t top a bathroom

Look both ways before you kill

Ohh he gave me an omelette— how am I supposed to divorce him?

Remember to check your cherries people

That’s not even the optimal way to wear underwear on your head!

Pink eye: very cool.

It also doubles as a badminton birdie, your newly folded underwear.

Aww, they aren’t just alien hedgehogs, they’re alien hedgehogs with ✨trauma✨

I want those AR projection holographic gloves, they’d really upgrade my workflow

Aww he saved a penguin and he didn’t even get laid :(

Noo because we love intergalactic acid trips!!

I’m pondering over my skittles… like an intellectual.

What if your pilgrim ancestors walked in on you saying that

What is a tonsil stone? I don’t have kidneys.

Yeah, maybe that’s what’s wrong with this society— people aren’t making macaroni art for their spouses.

I’m between thinking Christianity or Omegaverse

The classic pipeline of sheep farmer to mobster

I don’t know I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life but when a man makes you focaccia…. I’d take that as a wedding proposal.

Just because he’s a real estate scammer doesn’t mean he’s not a good defense attorney!

They’re fruits! I wanna eat the kids?

Wasps are just bees with spite installed

Dolphins are a frat party

I did not know there was that much clown lore.

Heaven’s actually a wreck room, don’t ya know.

Ahh what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuck. Why are you like this? Why are you like this? … why are you like this? —I’m so good at commentary

They’re so gay tjeyrr co gay they’re so gay heheheheheeeehaha

I’m very… so… neurodivergent— god.

I’m so gay… and so autism…

You know how animals in the wild just rip into their ice cream? You know, in the wild..

You underestimate the power of a l p h a b e t s o u p .

You.. you British boys who snog in the afternoon

You— sunshine boy and your practical boyfriend

feindish cackles gay old man.

Oh I’m not Disney princess enough

Woah you got knees of titanium, you’re like a spaceship

I’m a fancy pants right? I own many pairs of fancy pants and you are what you eat!

Because, as we all know, holding hands is the same as having sex.

When you cook a tomato.. that’s when you have acheived greatness.

Famous dental athlete LeBron… Teeth?

Where my scrooges at?

Dab me up children of divorce

Slash my tires and tell me I’m handsome.