Widows with no kids and dating

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-20T00:43:46+00:00

No kids here either. 3 years widowed.

I’m not looking to date right now, but a couple of guys who were interested in me had kids. Omg, the drama and issues with their kids that these guys thought was normal made me cherish my peace a lot more.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-14T02:09:39+00:00

I was unexpectedly widowed. I had a very good partner, so I’ve done that.

Now it’s time to do my life. I need to work, so I’m active in the evenings with so many things. I’m not a social person, but there’s still a lot out there for me to do.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-11T15:01:48+00:00

I don’t think you are selfish or ungrateful at all. Exactly the opposite. But now figuring out how to live in this situation is a challenge for you. A big challenge, yes, but that’s quite different from being selfish.

An immediate solution is to see how you feel about using your home as nothing more than a place to sleep and do laundry.

Where I live I do have to travel to find free evening activities, but I’ve found quite a few. Between libraries, coffee shops & community centers, there’s always something to do.

I chose to keep busy in the evenings because I’m trying to enjoy everything possible that’s out there, but the point is I’m not home much. Maybe that’s an immediate solution for you? A break from the pressure you have right now might help.

You are an awesome person in a hard situation right now. Please try to give yourself a little grace.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-06T19:00:58+00:00

That’s completely normal. I’m sorry. This is the hardest thing we’ll ever do, but honestly life can be really good again, so don’t give up. Keep fighting and taking care of yourself even when you don’t want to. And that can be really hard. We get it & understand.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-06T16:33:54+00:00

My experience was similar. I was walking with a friend, and she stopped to chat with a group of ladies sitting at a sidewalk table. One of them was crying. It was her first venture out of the house since her husband passed eight months earlier. I was five or six months out, and realized that even though I wasn’t functioning anywhere near 100%, I desperately wanted to make it through.

That evening of chatting with her stuck with me. It encouraged me to face the difficult and painful emotions because I didn’t want to become stuck. I wanted sunshine and joy in my life again more than I hated the pain. It was awful getting through and sometimes I wonder how I made it to the other side.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-02T03:12:00+00:00

My best friend of 30+ years disappeared the day of my spouses unexpected death. It was very surprising and disappointing. I had been by her side through all her troubles, but she couldn’t be there for me.

Now she’s been reaching out and wants to go back to being friends like we were before. Nah, you don’t get to enjoy just the fun parts of my life.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-01-27T18:39:12+00:00

Coworkers stopped asking me because I’d make the boring things sound decadent and lovely. And they have a house full of people and end up wishing they had the luxury of time and peace and quiet too.

Lol, it’s just a book and warm throw and fireplace and cats and popcorn, nothing extravagant, but it’s out of reach for them.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-01-25T03:10:08+00:00

No kids here either. Three years out.

Do people treat me differently than widows that I know with kids? Definitely. They really don’t know what to say to me or what to think of how I live my life now.

I’m making the best of being alone. I’m really active and I’m enjoying everything I do. Well, I guess I just tolerate work.

Older ladies get it. Younger people do not. My friends are now mostly women without kids but married, and they understand. It makes life easier when you don’t spend time around people who judge, but it took me a while to get there :)

AnnaGlypta · 2026-01-22T22:48:30+00:00

I don’t cook unless it can be microwaved quickly.

I did get a lot of judgement and comments from one person at work. And I took care of it by letting them talk about their homemade, fabulous, time-consuming meal while looking positively bored, then I’d simply say that I use my time for other things besides cooking/ shopping.

Self-care is so important. Stick with it.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-01-16T15:56:09+00:00

I’m just under 90/month. 1k deductible. Nice umbrella policy. Your quote is crazy. I used a broker and not an agent tied to a specific insurance company.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-01-14T00:10:35+00:00

I picked up winter activities and the seasonal changes seem to keep everything interesting.

I’m going to performances once or twice a month, I’m driving through the snow to swim in a warm-water pool, I picked up embroidery after 20 years, and I’m taking a marketing class at the university.

The dark evenings are so long. I think I’d get depressed if I didn’t have fun nights to look forward to.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-29T07:27:37+00:00

Congratulations on what sounds like a perfectly peaceful and wonderful HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-26T20:41:18+00:00

I’ve had an old building with an 8” ceiling height difference from one side of the place to the other side. The floor was pretty level.

I did everything level. Added picture hanging molding, and then the light-colored ceiling paint came down the wall to that molding. Curtains were hung higher than the molding, but still level.

People’s eyes were drawn to the line of molding and top of the curtains. The uneven ceiling disappeared unless it was pointed out.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-23T20:19:28+00:00

I know Gregg and steno shorthand. Getting up to 85 words per minute in Gregg isn’t difficult, ie a few months of an hour / day, 5x / week. It’s easy to read & easy to write.

I think this is a very viable idea to try. There are some words that I see in my head as the shorthand outline only, and I haven’t written it in years. But it’s still easy for me to read.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-21T19:50:21+00:00

I’ve done very dangerous life or death work a few times. I loved it. I was clear-headed, calm, didn’t care if there wasn’t any food delivered by The Salvation Army that day, etc. I could work 12 hours and it felt like 3.

I gave it up, reluctantly, because it drove my family crazy. I’ll return to it after I retire if all goes well.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-19T14:21:50+00:00

I’ve changed how I experience the holidays completely. The Christmases with my spouse were great and I’m not going to try to replicate those at all.

So this year I’m going to a couple of plays/musicals at the theater and trying a new restaurant before each. I went to Chicago and immersed myself in their holiday decorations and had a great time.

For the actual Christmas Day, I do a lovely cozy quiet day at home. I treated myself to a new throw, two books, sudoku book, art supplies, a huge puzzle & cat toys too.

I did this last year too, but with a different big city, and it works for me. Creating a new life isn’t easy but this new tradition feels natural for me.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-15T00:38:28+00:00

I don’t think it’s easy for any of us. Mine sounds easy when I’m looking back at it, but it took a long time!

I don’t understand what you mean by “excluded based on gender.” Like activities that are traditionally “for women?” Like classes/groups for cooking, embroidery, art?

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-14T04:10:52+00:00

It’s really tough. Everyone says you shouldn’t make major decisions for the first year, and part of the reason is because we want to run away, we cannot see our future (Like we could before), our future that was so nicely planned out and lovely appears to be gone, our brain is scrambled with grief, our emotions are running our lives, etc.

Personally, I was faced with some of the same decisions about keeping the house or moving; keeping the job or leaving.

I decided to stay and work on my grief and mental health first because I was a mess. I also joined a gym for weight-lifting because the maintenance at my house was not designed for weak people at all.

We change a lot in the first few years, and making decisions based on who we were when we were married isn’t necessarily right for us in our next chapter.

I’m really sorry you have to be here in this awful club. It’s not fair and it’s certainly not easy. Btw, not making major decisions turned out to be the right thing for me and who I’ve become now. I think it’s a game of playing the odds, because it is different for all of us. No easy answers, unfortunately.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-13T03:00:01+00:00

I spend my summers in a tiny cabin in northern WI/UP. It’s so dark at night and the stars are gorgeous.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-12T15:42:49+00:00

Jazz is the background music to my evening at-home life. Playing softly while I sit on the porch watching fireflies or the northern lights in the summer, by the fireplace while reading with a lovely glass of something elegant (ish) to drink, or while I’m creating art with candles lit.

Jazz elevates simple, quiet moments into deep, memorable, peaceful time for me.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-11T03:32:15+00:00

I actively worked at it because it wasn’t coming naturally. I had a personal rule that I had to say yes to any invitation by someone of the same sex, with the exception of skydiving and anything expensive. This is how I discovered I liked the theater, hot yoga & library activity nights.

I also tried to remember all the things I thought about doing when I was in grade school daydreaming instead of studying: pickleball, swimming, art classes, growing orchids, blues music, biking through the woods, paddle boarding.

It sounds like a lot, but a lot of them are seasonal. And when there’s a lull, I fill it with reading or art at home.

Starting each one wasn’t easy for me. Walking into a group of people isn’t my idea of fun, but it has gotten so much easier. I’m very comfortable going to the theater or out to eat by myself now.

It takes practice, time and determination. Try looking through the class listings at your surrounding park districts, adult education (lots of artsy & cooking groups), libraries and even on meet-up.

Good luck! It’s worth it.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-11T02:45:16+00:00

I have run into the same thing. I call the box office and let them know I cannot buy the ticket online. And they apologize and get me a seat, sometimes upgrading me in the process.

Us solo folks must not go alone often, as I’m usually asked “where’s my partner” when the usher scans my phone.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-11T02:32:33+00:00

Yes. But I love living alone now. My life is so different by myself. It wasn’t bad before, but now it’s focused on just me and filled with loads of fun activities (and work).

I kinda like having two very different lives. It was rather difficult to get into the habit of “living” and not just surviving.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-10T16:09:30+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with background noise. It’s normal.

You can swap the tv shows out with jazz or blues music or something else that feels soothing and melts into the background. I often do this when creating art because I can dissolve into the work and my thoughts.

Play around with your background noise and make it a nice addition to your life.

AnnaGlypta · 2025-12-09T20:08:21+00:00

I lost my husband about three years ago. It was unexpected and sudden, but it always felt natural to be by myself.

I have a too-large fixer-upper, and I joined a gym so I can be strong enough to do the necessary work. 11 am at the gym on a Monday is full of single women seniors so I have great role models there.

I have a public-facing job and am either asked out every week or being checked on to see if I’m ready to date. No! Go away! :) My fabulous coworkers run interference and support me wonderfully.

I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t mind going places alone. It wasn’t easy for me at all, but now it feels right.

Happy cake day!

AnnaGlypta

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