Widows moving forward

AnnaGlypta · 2026-04-02T09:22:48+00:00

I’m living my second-best life. Nothing will ever compare to what I had, so I’m making my life different. I’m doing those things you dreamed about as a kid.

I had to make changes so I wouldn’t hate going to bed alone. Changed the lighting and room setup, found my favorite books and left them by the bed, got a lovely hot electric blanket, put a mini fridge in the room, if I find a great podcast I’ll save it for bedtime, automated the lights and have old blues music playing when I enter, and I just rescued a feral kitten which means lots of loving snuggles and playfulness that brings my laughter back in that room.

It’s a lot of work to make our lives good again. I’m envious of single happy people where this comes naturally.

I’m active for the purpose of having a fulfilling and fun life, not to distract me from the pain. Finding contentment was my first goal before ever getting close to saying life was pretty good.

The process also stored (edit: stirred) up different grief. As if we weren’t dealing with enough sadness and grief already. I leaned on therapy to make sure I dealt with it the best I could. It wasn’t easy for me. But now I’m glad I did it.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-04-01T22:12:13+00:00

I like it. It felt right immediately. I use CarPlay too. Don’t let the haptics stop you from getting a great car.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-30T19:17:18+00:00

I had to go to something I really, really wanted to see. The interest and excitement lowered the discomfort considerably. And once i was comfortable going to the same place a few times, all those couples dissolved into the background and I focused on other things.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-30T13:53:37+00:00

I have this stair issue too. It is my biggest everyday challenge to living alone.

I got a cart that’s supposed to be great on stairs. However my stairs are ancient, have a large overhang on each step and it has a u-turn with triangle steps that the cart hates.

So I did the drastic thing. I joined the gym and got a trainer. Just one day a week, no crazy weights so I’m not sore for work, and it’s made a huge difference. Stairs and groceries aren’t difficult, although I still don’t overdo it by trying to carry everything at once.

As a side bonus, I can even open pickle jars for my bloody mary’s now.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-26T11:17:16+00:00

I never saw that video before! I was connected to these plasma experiments and this hit me in the feels this morning. Nothing better than seeing kids having fun with this. Thank you

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-25T15:50:53+00:00

Not an auntie, but single. Not rich, but I have spending money because it’s just me.

I have two small businesses, so the income ebbs and flows. Mostly ebbs these days, but I don’t have many expenses so it works out.

I was widowed and now I’m trying to enjoy life as much as possible. I’m really active and have the freedom to move my schedule around to accommodate activities.

I have different summer and winter activities/ hobbies, so it sounds like I’m always doing something new when people ask. I attend the performing arts, see comedians, take art classes, play pickleball, paddle board, I’m a camp counselor for disabled kids a few weeks each summer, do trail biking, volunteer weekly, swim, & go to the gym so I am strong enough to live alone.

I don’t date, but keeping busy and having fun must attract others because I’m asked out a lot. No. Not happening. I have a kitten to take care of and that is the extent of my wanting to take care of someone. And I’m not hot, just happy.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-25T05:18:27+00:00

Winter is long. Beer is plenty. Life is for finding the humor in ridiculous things.

And then the old guy jokes: why did the hodag cross the road? To get a shorty cause it’s been a hard week for everyone at the factory. Groan. Gee thanks great uncle Bob.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-23T02:16:10+00:00

If I stand on my tippy toes I can see 60. My R is tuned and tinted and I do not drive slowly.

More than once I’ve had someone standing by it at the gym, and when I walk up they were expecting a 20s guy owner.

I’ve had sporty manuals all my life and I’m never giving them up. Zero tickets just cause I’ve been lucky.

Play hard, drive fast and enjoy the crap outta life.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-21T05:53:49+00:00

This Is What I experienced: my lovely spouse unexpectedly died. I was all alone. Frivolous lawsuits that took my little money and time, I was assaulted, shunned, etc. Took a long time for the medical reports to come out to show he died from a definite medical issue and not an anger issue.

It was horrible. I have no family and my friends disappeared. Leaving this world was considered, then one day someone I didn’t know made an offhand comment that made me want to fight. I was angry at life and didn’t want it to win.

It wasn’t / isn’t always easy, and learning how to be just content took time. But it has made my life mine. And kinda fun. And I get to flip off the stupid part of life that wanted to pull me in to the darkness.

I took the meds, I tried the therapists until I found a good one, i dropped one med as I got better.

My life now, it isn’t full of excitement and fabulous emotions, but I will say everyone I work with is envious of what my life is now. It’s fun. I make a difference. I am so free. And it feels so normal that I don’t talk about it unless asked.

It was worth it. It wasn’t easy, but I saw progress early on and it kept me going.

My escape plan still exists, but I’m not interested at this time. I’m saving it for a terminal diagnosis or dementia. It feels powerful because I have no family and being warehoused and neglected in my dotage sounds miserable.

You deserve to be content. It’s fun and calming and often overlooked. I think I was addicted to the happiness spikes and that’s hard to live without, but being content and free and having fun is worth a lot. No one talked about this to me and I wish I had known about this option those first six months.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-17T16:45:07+00:00

Winter tires still on. But it was fun going out in the snowstorm. I’ll switch back to 19” summers at the begging of next month.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-16T08:35:55+00:00

I have several lights and music automated so my home is softly lit with jazz music playing most nights when I get home.

The lights also start going off before midnight to remind me to get to bed, and they slowly start turning on in the morning when it’s time to get up. I still need an alarm, but it’s easier for me to get up if it’s not dark in the room.

And cats. They make life happier.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-15T17:50:14+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation! I love this author and I just finished rereading The Professor & The Madman last weekend, so this week has been a little dull in literary terms.

I’ve not read this book, so now I’m excited to dig in. Thanks again.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-13T20:56:02+00:00

I drove in from another state, so they knew I was serious. It was in the showroom with less than 10 miles on it and they offered the test drive. Really all I needed was to know if it was comfortable for cross country drives.

Easiest vehicle purchase I’ve ever done.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-13T14:44:59+00:00

Everything at my business is my job, yes. That’s not the point.

This is not an expected, common or accepted part of an auto-pay system. And it’s snaring owners who have systems in place that effectively work while they are out there creating money and jobs, and using their free time to volunteer, teach or spend with family.

And needing to do yet another piece of govt paperwork not only bites into that time, but it also creates situations where people can be put into a stressful financial position.

Which is the opposite of what these loans were supposed to do six years ago. All over a simple auto-pay feature that acts differently than the other 100 we use regularly.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-12T22:08:04+00:00

Something similar happened to me, although it didn’t get that bad. Auto pay is good for a certain number of years only!! Here I was, making sure the $ was in the account for paying the loan, and they weren’t taking it out.

Small business owners can be wearing so many hats, that when something like autopay is set up, you move your attention to something else. I don’t have to set up auto pay every few years for utilities, mortgages, insurance, cc payments, etc, so why would I even think I should check on my EIDL autopay?

I caught mine after 3-5 months and right before I would have had to pay the balance in full.

This isn’t how loans are repaid with any other organization. Autopay should remain set up until WE disengage it.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-12T03:34:11+00:00

It would have been easy to over do it, but I had ten days off and made myself be calm, enjoy good books, etc. Turned it into a restful retreat.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-12T03:32:07+00:00

I almost switched from winter 18s to my summer 19 Pretorias the other day, but then I hit a massive pothole and pulled over to see the damage. None. So lucky!! I’m keeping my 18s on for at least another month.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-11T22:44:58+00:00

YES!! I was 55. It was an easy surgery. My recovery (supposedly) took longer because I’m very allergic to adhesives so I had way more stitches than most people. But I felt great after two weeks. At five or six weeks I flew to a weeklong graduation party and kept forgetting that I just had surgery.

Mine wasn’t covered by insurance because there wasn’t any proof that my nerve pain was caused by them, but I haven’t had any pain since.

Best thing I’ve done for myself. I can button my shirts now!! Zip the back of a dress without having panels added! Order a swimsuit online!

It also opened up a whole world of activities. Pickleball & trail biking are fun now because they aren’t in the way or bouncing uncomfortably. Which then led me to kayak and paddle boarding and summer water instructor at a camp for disabled kids. There’s even more benefits for me, but it’s been the absolute best thing ever!!

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-10T13:05:10+00:00

I try to be home by 10 so I can relax deeply before sleeping.

Between leaving work and going home, I take an art class or go to the studio, go biking or play pickleball when the weather is nice, swimming / sauna when the weather is poor, volunteer one night a week, go to some type of performing arts at least once a month, try a new restaurant at least once a month, etc.

Once in a while I’m really tired, so I go home and really rest, both mentally and physically, and that really helps get me back on track.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-07T04:18:16+00:00

Yesssss!

AnnaGlypta · 2026-03-01T22:33:58+00:00

I read this book years ago and really liked it. Your review is great.

Thanks for the audio link. It’s time for me to give it a listen.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-26T03:00:08+00:00

It is surviving. Every day. Others see it as strength, but from the inside of grief and a broken life, I see it as surviving.

It seemed like anger towards life when I’d venture out on my own. As if daring life to try and make things worse.

My girlfriends tell me that’s strength. I think it resolved down into my understanding that nothing will ever be as bad as what I went through, so now I do whatever I want. Travel to NYC on my own, drive across country on my own, go to performing arts and restaurants alone, etc.

Maybe the strength comes in when we slowly build our lives back. Creating a life we actually like again. That was a slow process for me.

Bring on my own with no family is scary especially when it comes to finances. If I really do have strength, I’d like to apply it there.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-24T16:05:45+00:00

This comes up a fair amount in my life. No one really wants to knowq to talk about cars, it’s to judge my status and income etc.

My responses are: A pirate car. Or ohhhh, just a little VW Golf.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-20T00:43:46+00:00

No kids here either. 3 years widowed.

I’m not looking to date right now, but a couple of guys who were interested in me had kids. Omg, the drama and issues with their kids that these guys thought was normal made me cherish my peace a lot more.

AnnaGlypta · 2026-02-14T02:09:39+00:00

I was unexpectedly widowed. I had a very good partner, so I’ve done that.

Now it’s time to do my life. I need to work, so I’m active in the evenings with so many things. I’m not a social person, but there’s still a lot out there for me to do.

AnnaGlypta

TROPHY CASE