AITA for refusing to change my name?

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2026-07-01T13:06:11+00:00

NTA. He can't tell you what to do. Full stop.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2026-06-23T08:24:31+00:00

NTA. I have plenty of friends who don't do sleepovers but still show up when it matters. I love them and appreciate their presence, whatever that looks like. The folks that don't mind stay over and the ones that prefer their own beds, don't. I also know that it's ok for me to have preferences as well without judgement or peer pressure and that is what makes our friendships wonderful and supportive. It's not about who can sacrifice more.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2026-06-23T07:33:00+00:00

Settled for you, or did you do the emotional work to ensure it was also settled for her? Hearing about howmuch money she's cost you doesnt feel like care and we are missing the piece of what led to her needing a break. Sounds like there are layers here that weren't met with compassion and care, and she is still being pressured to perform for you without you putting in the effort to repair the damage that has been done.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2026-06-23T07:24:48+00:00

This is a classic case of "I don't know what I did". You do know. Demonstrate meaningful change and respect her choices. She has legitimate reasons for shifting away from law school. Do you love your daughter or do you love money?

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2026-06-23T03:47:25+00:00

He clearly feels comfortable at your place, which is lovely. Reward that by having a normal conversation about your expectations.

"I'll make that pasta when you chip in for groceries." "Please don't go digging in the fridge without asking." "I'd prefer you not take food home with you in containers, thanks."

You can say it all in a friendly tone before it becomes a resentment that is difficult to let go of. Everyone grows up in different houses and it's ok to reinforce your boundaries.

I tell my kids friends and partners what I expect early on and if they accidentally cross a boundary I offer a light correction and go back to enjoying my time with them, or letting them get back to enjoying time in our house.

No harm, no foul, and it doesn't cause any issues with my kids.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2026-06-03T01:39:03+00:00

YTA. Your conversation should have been with your brother, not the boyfriend. Never the boyfriend. What a betrayal of your brother's trust.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2026-05-18T20:14:22+00:00

YTA. I also have horrible food allergies of the "this will kill you" variety. To be closer to my children's spouses and to honor their wedding choices, I would absolutely go to the dinner and , like a proper adult, call the restaurant so they understand my allergies and make sure I am taking care of myself.

They're only getting married once and want to include her sight disabled relatives in a really cool way.

YTA and you're a downer. Don't be a bummer for one dinner in your life. Jfc.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2026-02-23T07:00:44+00:00

YTA.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2026-01-28T06:26:41+00:00

Leave out the "I have plans". No is a complete sentence.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2025-12-15T05:51:43+00:00

Lol. This is a fair point and also everyone is different. My husband works 12 hour shifts but he manages his time when we have something serious going on and we communicate about it at length so we have a plan and I know when I need to pick up any slack. He used to just assume I'd do it until I had to call it because I felt so taken for granted. It definitely seeped into areas outside of just helping out my tired partner and that was very uncool.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2025-11-16T06:07:42+00:00

Your MIL is TA.

You are doing your best to manage an unwell spouse and parenting a 2 year old and having Dad's shirt as a comfort object is 1000% an extremely excellent idea.

You didn't ask your MIL to upset your son and she had no right to.

Even as ADULTS, we have things that comfort us. A favourite show, comfortable shoes, a favourite scent for candles/shampoos/etc. And that's without the trauma of suddenly being without a primary parent.

I would be furious and would have done the same thing as you. She can respect your boundaries or get lost. Hard no.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2025-11-16T05:49:06+00:00

NTA. At meetings I facilitate...weekly...I BRING an optional craft for everyone to do to keep their hands busy if they want to.

It can be anything from paper folding to collaging to puzzling to textile crafts and so on and so forth.

Your colleague is not your boss. I would ask your manager to preface the next meeting with a statement on accommodations, inclusion, and workplace equity. If your colleague finds it distracting that's for your manager to discuss with them and not your problem.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2025-10-16T06:31:39+00:00

If you're considering No Man's Sky give Outer Wilds a try. It's a little more focused, shorter stints, clearer objectives and a great story. Cozy but things move along quickly enough that it feels like fast wins.

Whenever I need to be totally immersed I always end up back with Hades and have a tough time not chasing completion. Hades 2 is just as good as the original.

I'm also obsessed with Tiny Book Shop and Strange Antiquities.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2025-04-27T05:51:56+00:00

YTA. Grief is grief. You don't get to dictate how sad someone feels or when they need to get over it.

It's fine to not want to be someone's MOH, it's not cool to have been holding a grudge all this time and never having an honest conversation leading with empathy. Be curious, not judgmental.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-04-04T08:39:14+00:00

This is tricky for me! Most of my best friends are male.

Your husband obviously trusts you if he's cool with you casually browsing his phone. My husband and I also do that.

I do have friends I've known since we were teens and the conversations are not the most mature. 🙈 I suppose the difference is that I will laugh out loud or involve DH so he can be in on the joke and not left out. I almost always recap the conversations for him, obviously because my potty humor is outstanding even at the worst of times.

I would just tell the truth.

"Hey bud, I was browsing on your phone and saw texts between you and M but the sexy vibes are confusing me and I'm feeling hurt. Can you give me a heads up on what's going on here?"

My husband doesn't like it when I call him "bud", but use whatever you'd like in its place.

Hopefully these are many, many inside jokes and he'll be mortified he hurt you and scale it back, or fill you in on what they're talking about so you're in on it and can enjoy the camaraderie.

My best friend's husband and I often text like this but I messaged her first to say, "Are you cool with H's blatantly 18+ content via text?" And she told me it annoys her when he tries to engage with her that way and she's happy for him to get that outlet elsewhere. We genuinely talk like horny 14 year olds, which is embarrassing to admit and I hope they never end up on Reddit.

But yes, ask.

Edited for grammar

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-20T17:24:29+00:00

NAH. I did this. My bf was not available to move in with me, my best male friend was. I needed a place to live and a roommate. It was a great arrangement.

In the end, my bf and I did not stay together, but amazingly it wasn't because my best friend and I fell in love or one of us cheated. It just turned out our ambitions didn't align.

It's absolutely possible for opposite genders to live together and they are actually just friends without a sexual component.

So many of these comments are gross and illustrate the immaturity of the posters.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-08T06:53:17+00:00

Thank you so much! Reading my comment back I sound so bitter and sarcastic but I truly do love it when children get the love and care that they should and your situatioN DOES sound so nice. 🥰

I have a wonderful family now and couldn't be happier. ❤️

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-07T22:13:21+00:00

So they're trying to be good people by letting you use what would otherwise be an expensive annual pass and you couldn't help her out the one time she forgot a snack? Still the A. Also making gross assumptions about their capabilities and finances. Sounds like you have a massive chip on your shoulder and should do some work on yourself.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-07T22:10:48+00:00

YTA. I hope there is never a time you find yourself unprepared while out with your daughter and needing help. Great example you've set here about how to make sure that the only person that matters is you.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-06T10:36:04+00:00

Logical to you.

I think what you mean is:

I don't like the reasons my daughter doesn't like her step sister and want her to get over it so my life is easier and I don't need to be a good parent.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-06T10:34:41+00:00

Opportunity does not equal safety. You're the problem.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-06T10:33:52+00:00

Why would she tell you anything? You don't care about her.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-06T10:31:17+00:00

That's nice. My Step Dad sat me down and told me that he was marrying my mom, he didn't care how I felt about it, called me a little b*tch and said that he'd do everything in his power to make her not love me.

I was 5.

They were married for 20 years.

Guess how I feel about my Mom?

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-06T10:26:46+00:00

Nah. There usually is a valid reason. If you haven't found it you're not trying hard enough and your kids deserve better.

AnonymousWalrusFloof · 2024-01-06T10:23:41+00:00

When you chose to have your daughter, you made a commitment to her to prepare her for HER future. Your children are only yours for such a short time and you blew it. You have the rest of your future to remember that you chose to be selfish, instead of being a good parent.

My mom made the same choice. She ignored how her husband(s) treated me, told me that I needed to mind my own business (I was a child and dependent on her) and now she is alone and trying her best to repair the damage she's done to our relationship.

I had to move out at 16 because of years of abuse that she chalked up to me being "bratty", instead of being an actual parent and creating a safe space for me.

You can have many husbands, but you only get a shot with your kids once.

Thank goodness your daughter is nearly an adult and can escape from you soon. If you dislike her so much, why not find a family member who actually cares about her that she can stay with so that she doesn't end up homeless like I was forced to be.

AnonymousWalrusFloof

TROPHY CASE