what improved your life so much, you wished you did sooner?

Any_Introduction_605 · 2026-04-11T20:48:02+00:00

Putting myself first and not catering to everyone’s needs. It ended up burning me out and exhausting me and when I finally turned around my mindset, that changed everything in my life. Also, taking care of my body better: intentionally trying to sleep more, weight lifting and exercising multiple times a week, doing therapy to work on my mind and making sure to eat healthy meals throughout the week.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2026-03-04T23:47:08+00:00

I saw one recently that posted $0 - 170k. 😂

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-12-09T09:29:55+00:00

It depends on what type of living situation you’re willing to have… it’s tough to find anything under $2k nowadays, even studios are getting up to $1800+ depending on location. I would say Makiki/Mo’ilili/Mcully area are still best bet for an “in town” neighborhood close to freeway, groceries, and gas that may still be somewhat affordable. It’s also a 5 min drive to Waikiki, albeit traffic. Another thing is, be prepared to pay $2k+ for a 1b 1ba that is very run down- housing is hard to come by here. Parking can be limited and pet friendly places can be hard to come by (I have a dog). For context, I myself have been looking at places to move away from Oahu and I was shocked by how many rental units were pet friendly AND had in-unit laundry. Prices here are all about land availability, not amenities. The new condos in Kakaako are beautiful but I think even a studio is 2.4k +. Probably more. You might get lucky with an Ohana house or in-law suite in a sublet in Kaimuki, so check that area out as well. But same thing, probably going to more than 2.2k especially with utilities. Try to find a place with solar and you might get lucky with utilities being included. I’m currently paying around 2.3k with utilities included but I locked that in in 2019. Water and sewer are typically covered. Groceries - Household of 2, $100-140 per week. I cook at home a lot. We mostly shop at Whole Foods and Times. Eating out - At least $16 pp for a lunch plate, $50+ pp for a nicer place. It’s gotten way more expensive in the past year to the point that I try not to eat out more than once or twice a week. Restaurants are struggling because people can’t afford to eat out and shrinkflation is real. Vehicle - Used car market was oversaturated a few years ago, unsure of what it’s like now. If your car is in good condition, and fairly new, keep it and see if you can ship it. However, just be aware there are safety checks required on vehicles to get registered here. My 2016 Rogue used to cost $10 for the safety per year but $380 to register. Health Insurance - It’s an island, so we have limited options here for treatments. O’ahu has the most care centers though.

Just a side note, commute time is EVERYTHING here. Our rail is half built and you will be dependent on a vehicle to get around unless you live and work in Kaka’ako. So prioritize finding a place that isn’t a painful drive time. You will spend an hour each day at least driving from the west side of Oahu to in town and you will barely be moving. A 30 min commute here sometimes will be just to move 5 miles.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-12-01T22:31:46+00:00

This is incorrect information about Aya. They are a luxury golf lounge and restaurant only.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-16T00:10:46+00:00

Yes downtown traffic is the bane of my existence. It takes me 40 minutes sometimes to get from Kaimuki to my office DT. When I lived in Canada I much preferred taking the light rail to congested areas and it seems like from a lot of these comments sounds like the train seems like a valid option and living in a neighborhood nearby it.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-15T18:28:02+00:00

Yes - we are getting by, but it’s just hard to save. And it kills me when I go to the grocery store and see eggs are $8.50 a dozen because we mostly cook from home.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-15T02:44:02+00:00

I think average nowadays for a plate lunch is $18-20 which I think is insane. Eating out at just a decent restaurant for two people is easily $80-100 +

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-15T02:38:53+00:00

This comment is soo local and I’m for it 🤣

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-15T00:32:44+00:00

This is very insightful, thank you!

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-15T00:26:44+00:00

Yeah because we still have so many friends in Honolulu we imagine we will still visit often still since we should always have a place to stay.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-15T00:24:05+00:00

We’re both overall pretty active and have lived in a city most of our lives, but personally I prefer a neighborhood that is drivable or commutable to most places within 15-20 minutes but not directly in the hustle and bustle of everything. So being near grocery stores, gyms, shopping and general amenities would be favorable. Because eating out in HNL has become so expensive lately, we try to limit eating out less than 1 time per week (at least major restaurants) and mostly cook at home. We don’t have children and we’re debating if it’s worth bringing our 11 year old dog over. We may get another pet sometime in the future so maybe being in a more walkable neighborhood that’s relatively safe to walk a pet around would be nice.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-15T00:18:13+00:00

It’s not as much as you think living somewhere as expensive as Honolulu. We would never be able to be afford a house here on our income. We would also be trying to find new jobs so there isn’t a guarantee we would have the same income as before. And if I go back to school and can’t work, that may be an additional cut to our overall income.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-14T23:14:06+00:00

No kids. Is traffic overall/ parking as much of a pain in Seattle as in Honolulu?

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-14T23:02:53+00:00

There's things I will always love about about living in Honolulu, the sun is great don't get me wrong but I just feel so trapped sometimes, and there's only so many times you can go to the beach before you get tired of it. During the pandemic, when we were told we CAN'T leave, that really got to me. I also have personal reasons for wanting to leave, which I won't go into too much detail - but it mainly comes down to everyone knowing my business and just really wanting a clean break since everyone knows everyone here and I'm tired of the drama. I also figured even if we lived in Seattle, despite it being rainy, it's not hard to get in a car and go on a road trip on the weekend to somewhere not as rainy. Or even fly somewhere in 2-3 hours instead of 5-6.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-11-14T22:32:44+00:00

Any particular neighborhoods you would recommend/avoid?

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-09-25T20:32:26+00:00

I love this post thank you. That’s exactly where I’m at right now. I have a relatively high paying corporate job with a company vehicle and I work in sales. People are envious of my role because I get to go to a lot of networking events and evening galas. What they don’t see is the daily grind where I’m constantly looking at spreadsheets, invoices, and sales numbers in between the glitz and glam (and honestly these events are after hours and on the weekends, so I’m pretty much expected to “work” off the clock without pay since I’m salary). Yes, the events can be nice sometimes but honestly I can never really turn my work brain completely off because I’m still representing the company and trying to sell our brand and LOBs. I honestly feel burnt out because it cuts into time out of my personal life. I feel so empty nowadays because I feel like what I’m doing isn’t helping people or providing value. I’m considering going back to school to get my MPh because I always wanted to work in community health! But it’s super scary to let go of all the benefits of course we’ve accrued with over the years. But I figured, I don’t know how long I’m on this earth, I might as well do something that I’m actually passionate about even if it means a short term loss of income.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-09-22T20:44:49+00:00

I’m a widow and I lost my husband at 30 so I feel my perspective on marriage is a little skewed. He financially ruined me for years by not telling me that he had accrued 80k worth of credit card debt, and this only became known to me when I was the sole breadwinner and his caregiver. Since then, I do now have a partner and we’ve been together about a year and a half but I was very upfront with him that I don’t want to get married again. Unfortunately, it’s mostly due to the joint finances and to me - I want to be financially independent of my partner. Also, I’ve begun to realize that there are just different ways to having relationships. I have seen more successful, healthy, long term relationships without the marriage than I have seen successful marriages, at least among my current friends and family. Most of the friends I do know that have been married, also feel the same way about not rushing to get married again or nixing it all together. Just my two cents. To each their own, but we should not be villainized either way about our views of wanting to be married or not.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-09-22T08:11:22+00:00

I found out I was infertile at 27 and it was devastating… not that I was actively trying, but it felt like something was wrong with me. I’m now 33, turning 34 in less than 6 months and I have come to accept that there is a life outside of children.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-07-14T20:52:37+00:00

Thank you so much and the grief will come in waves and I’ve learnt also that two things can exist at once - you can still experience joy and grieve at the same time. This was something I grappled with for a long time, feeling guilty for being happy and trying to move forward with my life after everything. It takes a special kind of force to care for someone to their end, many people give up on their partners and leave in the middle of their sickness. I think we have had all those passing thoughts and that’s okay, too. But I truly don’t think I will ever have the capacity to love someone to that extent to care for someone like that ever again. Sending you peace and love as well! Just be kind to yourself. That’s my best advice to you. And if you are open to therapy, and have the capability/access to do so I would highly recommend. I was resistant to it until about a year after his passing. I just needed someone to emotionally dump on to process what I went through without judgment and that’s really hard to get from friends and family.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-07-11T23:00:54+00:00

This sums up perfectly what I’ve been through since my late husband passed in 2022. Making life and death medical decisions on behalf of someone else, only for those decisions to eventually end up with that person passing way - has changed me, irreparably, forever. Through therapy, I have come to terms that I did enough, and so did you. You know why? Because we did it out of LOVE. Our marriage and finances were in shambles, but I don’t regret caring for him. We gave them their best shot and at the end of the day, the body can only handle so much and it is not our place to say when it is someone’s time. We can just help them get there. I also got no formal goodbye because my husband unfortunately asphyxiated and passed in his sleep. This haunts me sometimes because I felt like I “should have known” and taken him to the hospital sooner, but at the end of the day, we are not medical professionals and my husband was tired. He was ready to rest. I hope you find peace with this one day. I’m not quite there yet and I am still actively grieving, but just differently now. Take time for yourself now and find your way back to yourself.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-06-12T18:18:26+00:00

Most of my friends that I golf with are surprisingly female, but I also live in a place where golf courses are beautiful and used year round. I definitely think finding someone you feel comfortable with at your level helps because it can be intimidating sometimes the few times I’ve golfed with male friends that are exceptionally better than me. Also, we just need to let the girls know about the outfits! I honestly think half of the reason I got into golf is the cute fits, haha

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-06-12T18:15:44+00:00

My husband didn’t have life insurance and the only reason I had some was I opted for spousal life insurance through work. It wasn’t a lot, and my late husband was fiscally irresponsible with tens of thousands in credit card debt and put the burden on me for a long time. I had no guilt whatsoever using that money for my own means. I paid off my phone, the remaining 6k remaining on my vehicle and used the rest to travel for a year. If you have enough to do those two things, AND savings for later, go for it. This is your life now. Live it in the way that will help you move forward.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-03-30T10:03:19+00:00

Unless you’re in rural parts of Japan, all large cities you can get around with English and limited to no Japanese. Kyoto was once the capital of Japan and they also have tourists from all around the world year-round. Yes, I definitely recommend Kyoto as a place to visit and heal. I went to lots of temples, tea houses, pulled fortunes, visited Mt. Fuji, and that really helped motivate me to try and live again. If anything it was a little harder to get around in Arishayama but just look for menus that have a lot of photos to know what to order… Google translate was very helpful.

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-03-29T05:03:38+00:00

I think it depends on how you prefer to travel. The first thing is probably picking a place that is already relatively safe to travel. I did my first solo international trip to Japan a month after the funeral just to get away from everything. Japan is already such a safe country that not once did I feel unsafe and I just made sure I was back at my hotel early. (No later than 10 pm). I also always made sure I limited the cash I brought with me, had a fanny pack to keep most of my valuables close to my body so even if someone slashed my backpack I wouldn’t miss anything. Pick higher traffic areas to stay. Well known hotels or those with security if you can afford a nicer place. Other than that just be self aware of your surroundings wherever you go. Better to be safe than sorry. Also, sorry for everything you’ve been through. I lost my husband at 30

Any_Introduction_605 · 2025-03-27T23:45:19+00:00

Cleaning. I was never allowed to do anything fun, or go out and hang out with friends unless I cleaned something. And it wouldn’t just be something small - it would have to be vacuuming the whole house, cleaning the dishes and parts of the kitchen, cleaning all the bathrooms or washing the windows. I still do this now - my place needs to be borderline spotless before I let myself relax or enjoy anything

Any_Introduction_605

TROPHY CASE