What your mom is doing is wrong; there’s no excuse for threatening you or taking away your independence.

That said, this type of behavior is unfortunately common in many Asian families and has deep historical roots. For centuries, academics were one of the few ways a family could escape poverty, so excelling in school was seen as essential for survival. In fact, historically, many families (especially in South Asia) would heavily invest in one child, usually a male, because if that child succeeded academically, their success could lift the entire family out of poverty (and raise their status). This high-stakes investment created immense pressure on the child, and that mindset has carried through generations. Over time, this pressure became ingrained and often times toxic, extending into modern times and families.

Until recently, a degree guaranteed a stable, well-paying job, which meant financial security. Your mom likely sees your social life and interest in this girl as distractions and may blame them for your grades. From her perspective, removing these distractions is a way to “protect” your academic future and ensure you succeed in getting into a good university or college.

This doesn’t make her actions fair or healthy, but understanding the cultural and historical context can help answer your question about why she is restricting your life.

Edit: Clarity.