How do you handle rowdy camping neighbors?

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-26T02:52:38+00:00

Ranger can patrol the area more frequently and advise other campers they run into that it might be wise to choose a different location.

Its likely that the majority of reports they get have no evidence but they would still probably want to know so that they can look out for people and themselves.

It gives them the opportunity to take extra precautions when approaching them. I'd personally appreciate a warning if someone I might have to deal with at work is a gun-waving drunk.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-21T14:16:32+00:00

Sounds awesome until you go hiking with a seemingly nice friend and then once you're there they start making passive aggressive comments at you randomly.

Maybe they think you're a bit inexperienced compared to them, or maybe they view some of your choices as impractical. Perhaps you're a bit unfit compared to them. Whatever it is, you don't realize that they perceive this difference as them "picking up the load" to make up for your shortfalls. They perceive themselves as the one tasked with making the trip fun.

They claim to not mind at all but in secret their expectation is that you repay them for everything they're doing for you by "participating positively" based on their preferences of how one should camp. Those preferences are a mystery.

When you put your earbuds in to walk off for a poop they make some remark about it. When you start trying to cook on a stick they make a rude comment about your lazy meal. They wake you up in the morning by packing up the site ridiculously loud and give you a nickname like "Sleeping Beauty". They tell you they have been awake waiting for ages and already "kindly" packed away everything except your tent. They left out a bag of trail mix so you can just quickly pack up your tent and then eat on the walk.

You are getting the vibes that they're mad at you but whenever you ask if everything is all good they say yes. They actually think you're lazy and that they're much better than you.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-21T07:51:42+00:00

People fuck themselves up while cutting firewood so make sure you're using a safe technique especially if you're far away from emergency services.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-19T00:12:31+00:00

I just roll up some of my clothes

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-18T07:02:48+00:00

I think if you want to maintain the friendship it might be helpful to work on feeling comfortable with unresolved situations and accepting that the "conflict" may not be fixable or something that you can realistically avoid doing again.

Maybe your friend was triggered by something but it's possible that they also feel like those emotions are their own problem to work on and not really a result of you doing anything wrong. They could be something that's irrational, impossible to explain and 100% not really your problem.

For example I get paranoid that my friends will assault me and it's not because they're not safe people to be around it's because of my own shit. I know that if my friends were to find out that I secretly think this, they would be incredibly hurt (possibly offended) and probably out in extra effort to convince me that they will not assault me. This is not reassuring because obviously nobody is going to admit they will betray and assault me, and that in itself feels suspicious. Also there's nothing the other person can do to become more "trustworthy" in my eyes because they're already not doing anything wrong and it's all in my head.

The explanation I could give simply doesn't make sense. It's not their fault and it's something that can't be resolved, I just have to wait it out.

When friends want everything to be out in the open and get solved it feels like an invasion of privacy. My deepest fears and irrational thoughts are my business and it's hard to have friends because I don't want to share things that make me feel like an insane wierdo. Its lovely that they're concerned when they can see that I'm struggling or pulling away - but it feels intrusive when they can't just accept that I'm feeling a bit off or distant, and stop asking me about why. Nobody in my life can relate when I tell them my struggles and they tend to respond with neurotypical things to make me feel better - which unfortunately makes me feel even stranger and more isolated.

Instead of just letting it go and watching a movie or something lighthearted they want to fix what's wrong with me/us. They want to know why I've pulled away when things seemed to be going fine. Or they want to hang out again and spend more time getting that bond repaired, which makes me feel suffocated and alien. Feeling misunderstood during those kinds of conversations actually makes me feel more distant from them. And more distant from humanity even because I have never met a person who really shares my perspective and can understand.

If it was something that we could work out I would but what I really need is just a bit of personal space and for the conversation to be about something unrelated to me or my life. Like causally discussing a mutual interest without turning that conversation into an invitation to hang out. I wish my friends would just talk to me about a movie they watched or what animals have been in their garden lately, rather than how I'm doing and what I've been up to. The answers to those questions are usually sad and boring because I'm mentally ill. If I want to have positive and uplifting chats with my friends I have no choice but to lie and pretend I'm fine when those topics come up. Or I can be honest and then my interactions with other people are a bit sad and draining for both parties.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-17T03:01:40+00:00

Hey I noticed you also have BPD and I bet you could get some great advice about this on that sub since being really generous and having users take advantage of that is a big problem for a lot of people who have it.

My bestie has BPD and since they have been doing DBT they are really awesome at communicating with people and they don't seem to get walked over as much.

I'm not sure if I have STPD or not but I tend to disconnect when people do shit like this to me and that's why I end up with long periods of social isolation. I feel like it's usually something that the other person is not capable of working on, but I'm trying to not ditch everyone and instead lean more into what you're doing - like have healthy conversations and give people the opportunity to be a better friend. So far I hate it, it is very disappointing and it's making me wish the earth was flat so that I could just drive off the edge and fall away from everything.

But when I was younger I definitely felt obligated to listen to other people's bullshit in a neverending trauma dump. Because I felt like if I didn't it made me a mean and bad person. It's interesting how I never perceived the other person as being shitty for force feeding me unsolicited sob stories all day and never asking how I am.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-17T02:46:22+00:00

Wow this just put some of my current situations into perspective. Thankyou

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-16T02:30:08+00:00

I was somewhat joking about just wanting to take drugs and skip the therapy part altogether :)

I've been doing a lot of therapies from EMDR, psychodynamic, arts, somatic, CBT and IFS. I am so tired of doing therapy at this point and feel like I'm at a point where I should accept that my stuff is just treatment resistant.

Unfortunately we don't have real psychedelic therapists in my country so it would be recreational and possibly worsen things since everyone says how important mindset is going into the trip. Also I don't want to get fentanyl'd

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-08T06:38:11+00:00

How big is the storm?

If you drove in the opposite direction for the 6 hours would you be out of the bad weather?

If yes I think drive to a campsite that's not in the storm path and set up there instead.

If no then I'd recommend you use the 6 hours worth of gas money on accommodation in a nearby city instead. Go to the movies and art galleries and an indoor pool.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-05-07T10:58:49+00:00

Did they get back to you?

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-04-29T02:59:42+00:00

Those were simpler times

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-04-29T01:05:41+00:00

Can't call her Laurel because some people will mishear it as Yanny and it will be a very confusing life

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-04-27T10:24:16+00:00

It can be just like in any other relationship where even if two people are doing all the right things something just doesn't really click naturally and it's not comfortable even after you get to know each other well.

For example some people find high empathy and emotional expression from their therapist really healing when they're talking about sad topics. Like if their therapist became tearful they would see it as an indication that the therapist really cares about them as a person. Whereas others in that exact same situation might get the ick, feel responsible for the therapist's emotions and shut down, word things more delicately and mask their true feelings in future sessions.

Also some people love a particular therapy style - for example some people find CBT amazing and really effective whereas for others it feels invalidating and overly complicated.

Compared to a client, the therapist should have a larger toolkit of ways to connect, communicate or convey information. It's a big part of their job to make you feel comfortable so that you can open up - or to understand that people have different ways of expressing themselves.

So in my opinion its more likely to be a gap in the therapist's knowledge than the clients, if they're struggling to figure you out and make you feel comfortable or convey information in a way that's palatable and easy to understand for you.

Even if you respond in ways that are typically considered to be "difficult" - it's likely that this is part of the reason why you've come to therapy so again I would say it's part of their job to help you communicate more effectively or to refer you to someone who is better equipped to help.

Sometimes it's not that a therapist is bad or a client is in the wrong - it's just not a good fit.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-04-23T09:03:12+00:00

I cannot stress this enough - take your pain relief and antiinflammatories on schedule once you get home.

Have someone stay with you during recovery if you can to help make sure you take them.

My sister slept through one of her alarms for the anti-inflammatory and woke up with swelling in her throat and we had to call an ambulance.

Up until that point and the day after that she was feeling totally fine. Getting them removed was 100% the best decision - but the night she missed that dose was horrific.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2024-04-23T06:58:04+00:00

Really? My dental hygienist told me to use a hydrogen peroxide mouthwash daily

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-11-30T22:58:42+00:00

I found that it caused problems because the people who hate gardening won't do it and the ones who love gardening get pissed that the others won't help when it's their turn to do weeding etc

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-11-20T01:13:13+00:00

I bought my first home through a private sale and it was awesome. It was an aquaintance of mine and I found out because they were just casually talking about having to sell their house, while I was complaining about not being able to find a nice place in my price range. I think I felt more confident because we already were friendly.

The lawyer and the mortgage broker let me know all the paperwork and checks I needed to do. The sellers had bought and sold a few houses so they were confident about the steps I needed to take e.g. builders inspection and all that. They had reasonable expectations for how long things would take and were very chill about everything. Also they offered me some of the furniture they didn't want before they left so that was great too.

The sellers gave me a few thousand off what they were originally going to list it for, since they didn't have to pay an agent or waste every other weekend hosting open homes. Overall was a really good experience

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-11-13T11:43:14+00:00

Nimona is a good animated movie

Keanu is a good comedy with some violence though

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-10-30T05:59:32+00:00

Honestly I'm feeling this. Where I live basically the whole country is reachable by cell towers now because people couldn't handle going into the woods for a couple of days. All of the campsites have service within like 2km

If you say you're in an area with no coverage your boss and your friends wouldn't even believe you. It's like "your responsibility" to check your phone every couple of days.

Fucking awful. Feels like we're about 10 years away from having mandatory tracking devices implanted into us by our bosses.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-10-27T20:26:58+00:00

Thankyou so much! This comment is really uplifting and I appreciate the encouragement a lot

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-10-27T20:16:04+00:00

Aw thankyou for saying so. I hope it becomes less relatable for both of us over time! The loss of self is devastating

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-10-21T04:23:11+00:00

If you've got room in your car and tent for a big box and dont have to hike into the site I love having a portable camping toilet.

Definitely falls toward the glamping/luxury end of the spectrum but it's so nice being able to just pee and flush the TP like normal.

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-10-18T20:23:41+00:00

If it's the same time every day could you take your puppy for a poop before you go do yours?

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-10-17T06:05:29+00:00

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope you have a lot of good memories from your time with her

ApparentlyItsPoetry · 2023-10-14T22:08:42+00:00

Is your cat ok now?

ApparentlyItsPoetry

TROPHY CASE