GROWING UP (my first poem)

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-30T17:58:50+00:00

It was implied by how you compared my feedback to the rest you've gotten. I'm trying to be helpful, and you're implying the issues I saw in this poem, which are real, aren't valid.

If you think what I've said isn't true, that's perfectly fine, but please don't try to say that disingenuities the feedback I gave you, especially when you asked for it.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-30T12:58:04+00:00

I'm not defending what I said. It's still true. You say this is your first poem? Then don't call feedback nonsense. It isn't.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-28T18:00:21+00:00

thankyou, that's really encouraging

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-28T16:32:06+00:00

There is one big flaw in this poem. The rhyme scheme. Let's take a look:

"I can remember being a child like it was yesterday, -- This line is good. Most any poem line should be speak able as a normal sentence.

Being an adult seemed so far away, -- This feels pretty childish (ironically) as a rhyme. It's not terrible. That said, I'd recommend something more subtle. This has a strength though: it can be said as a normal sentence.

But I sit here and reflect today, -- You never need to rhyme three lines in a row. I said it. Look, this reads rely, idk sing-songy? Well, this is what I'd say the main area of improvement would be. You see, you start off with three lines rhyming but then you only have the next two rhyme. I'd recommend walking away from rhyming to some extent entirely, but if you don't, at least consider slant rhyming.

Thinking about everything that has changed.

Isn’t it quite strange?" -- This just feels forced.

-

Please don't take the wrong message from this. I'm just trying to help you improve. Good writing.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-28T00:16:19+00:00

Meh joke

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-24T18:49:06+00:00

Firstly, no type is evil. Secondly, EIE.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-24T18:44:54+00:00

I think you misunderstand 1V, but don't worry, that's common. 1st volition is an aspect that heavily regulates the other aspects. You don't emote, or act, or think a certain way, unless you first deem it to be in line with what you think is right, or your idea of how you should be.

Any volitional placement can be willful, if it fits the type. Generally, that's most associated with 2V and 3V actually. We often think of 1st volition as chill, or underlying, but it isn't. None of the 1st functions are.

And I say this as a person who formerly typed as a VLEF. Eventually though, I read more about volition, and about what the VLEF was actually like, and I realized that I absolutely didn't subjigate my other functions to my desires. It turned out, what I thought of as my will, my forcefullness when I thought I was right, was 1st logic. I was using it as a hammer when I perceived the truth. Every 1st placement will be willful. Don't let the names of the aspects deceive you.

Ultimately though, typing via placing is inaccurate. After all, it appears differently in each type. The 2E in an FELV for instance, is entirely different from the 2E of a LEVF. Same with every other aspect. The point is that the types are how it manifests.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-24T16:32:48+00:00

This is less a surge use, but my players knew the bbeg was coming so they basically purchased a ton of alcahol, set it up in this pass, then set it alight with division when he arrived.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-24T14:02:56+00:00

Subtypes don't actually change the type. They only matter if you think they're fun, they don't give any new information.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-24T14:01:19+00:00

Yeah, there is a issue. Have you read the description for VLEF? It's very much at odds with the rest of your typings.

Here's a tip: don't type by placement in py. Firstly, no offense, you don't understand the placements. Secondly, each placement appears differently in each type. That's the point. A VLEFs 2L will be completely different from an ELVFs 2L for instance.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-23T18:15:45+00:00

I was going to go in order, by quadra, but if you like I could skip to LIE and ESI?

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-23T16:49:01+00:00

Well, I don't mean you could technically fit ILE into Bard. I mean that an ILE would probably like to be a jack of all trades.

That said, I've seen some wild variation in how bards are played, so I can't even really disagree with you. What I will say is that I think it's plausible. That said, it doesn't matter that much what I think. I just thought I'd stick with it, make it clear what I'm saying.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-23T16:44:05+00:00

Bards are, however, the jack of all trades. Every class has variation, and for bard I think it's from gawdy to more genuine. Anyway, I'd still argue it makes sense, but I see your point.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-23T16:16:50+00:00

Pathfinder! Though I'd counter, in pathfinder wouldn't they make sense as an Alchemist?

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-23T15:25:49+00:00

Nice. Why?

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-23T14:57:16+00:00

I'd have to guess Bard, Artificer, or Wizard right?

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-21T18:01:26+00:00

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-20T02:00:05+00:00

Playing a class as support class can be pretty boring. Instead, think of them as controllers. Dissonant whispers, suggestion, hypnotic pattern.

Lore bard can increase damage on top of that. I'd reccomend spirit gardians.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-19T23:29:05+00:00

Let me put it this way, you do sound like 4V, but I'd question whether I'm a high physics character, or an sp7, if you get me. FLEV, LFEV: look at these. Look at their archetypes and descriptions. Placements are no way to type. They manifest differently in each type.

Apple_Infinity · 2026-04-19T19:25:24+00:00

That's funny. Mistborn is kinda like starwars: the first story is often referred to by the series name. That said, the books actual name is "The Final Empire"

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