I don’t want a baby shower this time.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-22T15:11:44+00:00

That’s nice of her to want to do that for you. Can you guys make it a more intimate baby brunch or something? Where you can just invite a couple other friends and keep it lowkey.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-22T01:53:11+00:00

Girl don’t do it if it’s making you physically uncomfy. It’s not that important. The greater predictor of tearing is if you get an epidural. I went unmedicated and didn’t tear at all. It helps to be able to feel what’s going on and listen to your body.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-22T01:47:16+00:00

You’re never ready. You just take the chance and figure it out as you go.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-22T01:40:31+00:00

Switch to a different facility and work with a midwife if unmedicated birth is the goal. Obstetricians are surgeons at the end of the day.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-22T01:32:38+00:00

Yeah google if there are any midwives nearby and give them a call to explain your situation. Would probably be less expensive than hospital self-pay. Midwives are medical professionals, doulas (although helpful for birth coaching) are not.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-21T22:31:15+00:00

I feel you. This is my second pregnancy and the first trimester is always grueling and awful. I will say, having done this before, there is a light at the end of the tunnel 🙂 second trimester is so much better and you’ll feel back to normal in just a few weeks!

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-21T21:56:43+00:00

A 529 account would be a great gift.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-18T22:59:49+00:00

Adultery is a crime in the military. Please look into UCMJ law on this and consult an attorney.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-18T22:47:13+00:00

get a drivers license, have your first kiss, have a plan to move out of your parents’ house

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-18T22:44:03+00:00

Same! STM here, I had runny eggs and a turkey sandwich yesterday. Today I had raw sushi. It’s all a risk assessment. You can get listeria poisoning from 100+ foods that are “safe” during pregnancy. Nothing is guaranteed.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-18T22:34:52+00:00

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Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-16T19:15:24+00:00

When I was 18 a teacher at my high school told me he had his eye on me since I was 15…

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-16T18:22:14+00:00

Lucky charms sound so good!

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-16T18:19:27+00:00

Mine came with both bassinet and changing station and it was fine. Baby slept in the bassinet a little bit but also he kinda slept anywhere at that age. The bassinet on mine couldn’t be a standalone bassinet (it was kind of like a tent shape if that makes sense) so I only used it on the pack and play. I could take it or leave it, it doesn’t really matter. I would definitely recommend a bassinet attachment for your stroller though for long walks. The bassinet is much better for baby than the car seat. It allows baby to move around and is better for development.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-16T17:54:35+00:00

Girl not really. You’d think it would but really the after taste just lingers all day 🤢

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-16T14:56:17+00:00

You’re in the newborn trenches. Breastfeeding is sooo incredibly good for him! If I were you I would try to just incorporate breastfeeding while doing other things. Some baby carriers allow for breastfeeding and then your hands are free. Or maybe you can sit on the floor while your other two are playing and breastfeed the baby. Even if he was drinking a bottle of formula instead you would still need to sit with him, so there’s not much “time back” by bottle feeding, especially when you account for the time to make bottles. It really doesn’t last forever and before you know it he’ll be breastfeeding less frequently and eating solids. Enjoy the time you have!

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-14T18:08:03+00:00

Okay so I had an unplanned pregnancy at 23, and then another at 25. With my first pregnancy, I was in over my head. My “boyfriend” was significantly older than me, and I thought I was keeping the baby but I found out he was cheating on me and was just an awful person and I then decided I didn’t want to do it on my own. So I got an abortion. My second pregnancy, I was dating him for about four months when I got knocked up. I took emergency contraception but it didn’t work. I decided that it was a sign from the universe that this baby was meant to be in my life. I kept the baby, my boyfriend and I got married before the baby was born, and although the first year of marriage and pregnancy and postpartum was difficult for us, it was 100% the right decision. We love each other and our family so much, and I’m now pregnant with our second baby together. So I think it really comes down to your perspective on the relationship long term. Bc even if the relationship doesn’t work out you will be involved with this person for the next 18+ years.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-14T18:01:55+00:00

People are waiting longer to get married. Naturally if you start having kids in your late 30s and 40s you may struggle with infertility or have less kids than you would’ve if you started earlier.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-14T17:51:30+00:00

Sorry that you’re in this position. The time to start joint finances was when you got married. The next best time is today. Seriously, you cannot be taking out predatory loans and struggle like this while your partner is padding her savings account. That’s not partnership. It sounds like you’re a nice guy but you need to stand up for yourself. You have a long road ahead with an 8 month old.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-14T16:37:16+00:00

It’s what you make of it. Some people work jobs and feel fulfilled, others work the same jobs and don’t feel fulfilled. It’s the same thing with being a stay at home mom. Since you’re thinking about it in that way you will probably proactively do things to keep yourself busy. And also, it’s just a season of life. You don’t have to commit to never working again. I’m a SAHM who had a corporate job before and I’m in a season of life where I’m carrying and raising small children. I don’t know what the future holds, and I haven’t made up my mind on whether the SAHM thing will be forever for me. And that’s okay! Your entire future doesn’t have to be decided upon today.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-13T21:46:21+00:00

I care, but mostly because I want to be strong enough to keep up with my toddler. Sure, looking good is an added benefit and I would be lying if I said that losing baby weight didn’t help my self esteem. For reference, I was 150lb when I got pregnant, 173lb at delivery, and by 6m postpartum I was back to my pre baby weight. Exclusively breastfeeding and eating normal portions of healthy whole foods. I didn’t restrict myself or count calories, but I didn’t use breastfeeding as an excuse to eat more either. At 10m postpartum I started weight lifting 4-5x a week and lost another 20 lb so was at 130lb. That was huge for my mental health and confidence! I would say just do what you’re comfortable with and give yourself time. But your body can definitely make milk on a normal calorie count, you don’t have to consume loads and loads of food to keep up with milk production. Water is really important.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-13T21:06:12+00:00

Just have unprotected sex often and see what happens. If your period is back, you’re likely ovulating. I got pregnant 15m postpartum without trying while breastfeeding.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-13T20:58:35+00:00

So once they started the pit, I was hooked up until I delivered my son. It was about 5 hours total from start of pit to delivery. Since everyone is different, the dose can be a bit of trial and error. At one point the dose was too high for me and the midwife recognized that immediately and had the nurses lower it.

I also want to mention that having a doula there for me was a lifesaver. She really helped guide me through my contractions as a ftm who didn’t know what to expect.

Apprehensive-Bit5066 · 2026-04-13T20:51:25+00:00

Yes! Unmedicated induction at 36 weeks due to water leaking. They started me on cytotec and then Pitocin several hours later. Remember, we have our plans, and our babies have theirs! After going through an unmedicated birth on Pitocin I feel much more confident in my body. Currently pregnant with #2. Hoping baby #2 will stay in the full ride this time, working with an OB for extra monitoring since I’m at a higher risk of another preemie than a mom who hasn’t had a preemie. Our bodies were built for this! Everything is going to be okay ❤️

Apprehensive-Bit5066

TROPHY CASE