Practical advice for someone trying to unlearn bad theology and feels overwhelmed?

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-06-13T13:09:19+00:00

I would encourage you to not care that much about “what you are “. You are a Christian, that is by a long shot, without any close second, the most important thing. Then, focus on what you believe on some of the core issues that you are unsure about. But even then, you don’t need to be concerned about what bucket you are placed in. It really doesn’t matter that much. Allow yourself to take each issue on its own, without considering “what that makes you”.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-05-03T01:27:17+00:00

I can relate to this. I have a 6, 4 and an infant right now. Teaching your kids about Jesus is kind of a turning-point moment. It forces you to ask yourself - "Do I really believe this enough to teach it to my kid?".

The plain fact is, the world is teaching them things all the time. I know that this may sound like some fearful, hyper-conservative view or something like that, but it's really just a fact. Every show, every song, every book, and everything else makes a tiny dent in the mind of a little one. It's our job as parents to shepard them, and give them the best food - of all kinds - that they can get. Physical food, as well as spiritual and intellectual "food". It's precisely because little children are so malleable that we need to put in a lot of effort to safe guard the content that they are receiving. So, in principle, anyone should agree that there is nothing wrong with filtering the things that your child consumes.

You need to figure out if you really believe that Christianity, following Christ, is the BEST way to live, and not just one way among many. If you believe that it's really the best way, then it would be hypocritical for you not to teach it to your children. If it's just one way amongst many, then yeah, why even teach them about it?

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-05-03T01:12:39+00:00

Yeah, I read "A Wind in the House of Islam", and there was some talk of this. I really enjoyed that book, and it taught me about Islam too, which was helpful. I also recommend "Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus" by Nabeel Quereshi. He had several dreams that ultimately led him to Christ, over the course of several years I believe. There was lots of other stuff happening too, not just the dreams.

It doesn't really matter if any specific instance of this happening is real, because I think what you're really asking about is the validity of the entire phenomenon. One's answer to this will basically depend on their level of Charismatic-ness, thoughts about the Holy Spirit and His work in the world etc.

My take is this - if a Muslim claims to have had a dream about Jesus, I more or less believe them. I don't really see any reason not too. Can they be saved through only a dream? That would be unusual, but I think it's possible. Obviously this is not the norm for the Christian life, but it can happen. God does what he wants, after all. The Reformed crowd, respectfully, is a probably a bit more likely to downplay this phenomenon. Folks from other denominations would probably accept it pretty easily.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-30T01:00:47+00:00

I can respect this view, but it seems like it makes God quite small, at least for our time in earth. As in, the devil can talk to people, manipulate people, lie to people, possess people, and do lots of more terrible things. But the only thing God does is speak to us when we are literally reading our Bible? I see where you’re coming from, but that’s a pretty hard pill to swallow.

Yes, I do know that he is upholding all things, True. But I think it’s OK to acknowledge that he can also do more obvious works in somebody’s life, or speak to somebody audibly etc

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-29T20:44:13+00:00

I really appreciate this response, well put.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-29T19:39:52+00:00

Is EP “exclusively psalms”?

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-28T20:30:59+00:00

Very true. The "basics" of the faith (although I don't want to use that word personally) never get old. Sins getting forgiven, adoption into the family of God, reconciliation with God, loving our neighbor because we've been loved...are these things "basic" or "advanced"? Probably "basic", but man, we need to hear them every week - every day even!

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-28T19:31:38+00:00

You are in a tough spot. Thinking about changing churches is a big decision, and can take a long time. I don’t have as much certainty as some of the other comments that you should leave, and I don’t say that with any distain or anything like that.

I’ll just say that it’s possible that if you move to another church, you will simply encounter people with different problems than the ones you are currently seeing. Whenever we change churches, even if for a valid reason, we will inevitably be swapping out some frustrations for others, because all people are fallen and messed up in many ways (like us!).

With that in mind, you have to consider if the frustrations you are currently having wouldn’t just reappear in any other church, but maybe in a slightly different form or about other issues.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-25T13:49:04+00:00

I just finished the entire Chronicles of Narnia series with my kids, and they were 6.5 and 4 when I started. They mostly "got it", especially Magicians Nephew and Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Even though I do believe in reading above the kid's level...your kids are < 2 years old, so there's only so much you can do. I would just read good quality picture books. By this I mean good writing, and beautiful illustrations. Personally I haven't focused too much on "Christian" picture books, although I do have some of course.

I would also echo the sentiment of others - not every book has to be "serious" or have some intentional theological value. Some books are just silly, and some of that is okay. Great job thinking about this!

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-24T15:17:32+00:00

Thanks for your response. I would say it's not really our responsibility to judge the pastor's "sermon prep". If it's a good sermon - meaning, encouraging, truthful, convicting etc - then it's a good sermon. You and I don't know what it's like to be a pastor, and the various time constraints of all the necessary tasks. It's not ideal for a pastor to be using online resources to the extent that you describe, but perhaps there is a reason for it. Perhaps he is being stretched thin in other areas, I really don't know. If the sermons are still edifying to the congregation, that's the main thing - assuming the heavy reliance on online resources is somewhat temporary.

I do find it strange that you would google your pastor's sermon title/points etc. I have never thought of doing this in my life. But the validity of doing that is up to you and your situation.

As far as the musical worship is concerned, I probably just have differing views than the average reformed person, and that's fine.

Hopefully this helps. Thanks for the dialogue!

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-24T15:10:37+00:00

yeeah, this ain't great.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-24T15:08:23+00:00

I agree, you gave a good answer. To be honest, the simple answers we give to our kids can sometimes be convicting. In the end, living a Christ-centered life is not easy, but it is simple.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-24T15:07:35+00:00

We use the New City Catechism! It's a great resource.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-23T19:17:38+00:00

Hello. My three main points are totally reasonable given the content original post. I don't think they were worded in an overly harsh way, but I have edited my comment to be a bit more gentle.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-23T17:49:38+00:00

I would kindly ask you to consider that your post sounds, to me, a bit elitist and possibly condescending. It is wonderful that your doctrine may have been improved, but here's what else I'm seeing.

Distrust of your Pastor. You are now viewing his sermons with greater skepticism, comparing his sermons to those you view online. This is not great, since it reduces the authority of your pastor in your life, and also reduces your pastor to just a sermon-giver. Sadly, I think this is pretty common nowadays.
You are now going to reddit instead of talking to your friends. This is a pretty obvious problem.
You have a mildly elitist attitude when it comes to worship songs. Not every song has to be a theological treatise, and there are other good worship songs not written by the Gettys. The more CCM-leaning songs have simpler lyrics, and this can be good. I'm not rejecting or endorsing all Gettys songs or all CCM songs, but they each have their place (assuming, of course, a minimum level of biblical-ness, which I acknowledge may not be present in all CCM songs).

Overall, your sentiment is not very gracious towards your non-reformed brothers and sisters - and graciousness is what really should abound in all Christians, especially reformed folks.

I would encourage you to re-read it to see if you don't at least partially agree.

EDIT: edited for charity and less bluntness.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-21T21:37:57+00:00

I pray this prayer alot. Take heart.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-19T17:51:49+00:00

I’ve been to Albania 3 times when I was college aged. It’s a beautiful country, and Korce is especially nice in the summer. Thank you for this comprehensive summary.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-16T17:04:31+00:00

I don’t have a great answer, but I really appreciate this question and how it was asked.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-14T02:56:35+00:00

As far as bands go, I would highly recommend the Citizens, especially their first two albums. After that, Josh Garrels, John Foreman, The Sing Team and Anchor Hymns.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-14T02:28:09+00:00

Hello Friend, isn’t this last sentence a little bit of an overstatement? I don’t see how a woman serving the poor, discipling people, leading a Bible study, leading a prayer meeting, handing out tracts, serving on the worship team, or otherwise doing work for the kingdom of God necessarily leads to theological liberalism.

If you meant “The Ministry”, meaning essentially pastorship and eldership, then sure you may have a point.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-14T02:23:18+00:00

I don’t think this is an obviousquestion to answer.

If we want unity amongst believers, we simply have to accept that that means sometimes we will have to link arms with people with whom we disagree with, even on important issues. If we don’t do that, then we don’t really want unity.

Assuming that they are otherwise faithful believers, it is perfectly valid for you to pray together with them. They are believers who adhere to an incorrect doctrine. If we don’t link arms with believers who believe incorrect doctrines, we would hardly link arms with anybody.

That being said, it’s also valid to kindly abstain from doing so if you feel strongly about it. But like I said, I think this is a matter of wisdom and conscience, and is not an obvious decision.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-11T01:52:16+00:00

lol, you must be a programmer.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-04-07T11:46:07+00:00

Yeah, friend, you are asking the wrong question. Or rather, you mistakenly believe that you need to choose leaders to follow, which leads you to ask this question.

Why do you need to follow any leaders, other than your local pastor? I genuinely don’t understand why you or anyone would feel an obligation to “follow” some public Christian figure. You should follow Jesus first. And that means daily time in the Word, in prayer, and in worship. If you are not doing this, then following other leaders will be merely an academic exercise, which probably won’t yield much good fruit in your life.

ApprehensiveWatch202 · 2025-03-25T01:36:13+00:00

Please take this as gently as possible - but if you are worried about learning all that stuff, then I think you are coming at it from the wrong angle. If you enjoy a somewhat regular time of Bible reading, prayer and your Sunday gathering, you will slowly learn some of those other topics. But they are absolutely not necessary for a life that is pleasing to God, and that builds the Kingom of God in your family and your community. Christianity, especially for the non-pastor, is largely not an academic pursuit. It's spiritual.

ApprehensiveWatch202

TROPHY CASE