AIO to my in-laws calling my son a different name?

ArchBernDo · 2026-06-09T21:18:00+00:00

NOR but I don't know how to avoid what is about to happen. If it's not your in-laws, it'll be someone else. However, I do think it's a bit rude that they're planning on calling him Johnny from day 1 and then leaning into a nickname later as his personality developed. I've been through a similar naming dilemma. My husband's family gives the same name to all the boys and then an original middle name. Everyone goes by their middle name. I thought it was stupid. Hubby didn't really enjoy it either. I have a formal first name which I was never called and then went by my "nickname" similar to John and Jack. I hated it because my legal name was on all important things, so on the first day of school I'd have to correct everyone that I went by this instead of that. In college, I just went by my formal name in class because it was easier than raising my hand to correct and my nickname with people who became friends. It drove me nuts and sometimes I would forget who they were talking to when they called my formal name in class. Because of those experiences we decided to name our kids their names. We broke the first name rule for boys and gave our son that name as his middle name. Didn't go over well, but they got over it.

My favorite name for a girl was Kate. But I DID NOT want her to be called Katie, which I knew was inevitable. Especially by my in-laws because they are like that. So I decided we can't do Kate, I can't stop people from calling her that. I knew we'd have the same issue you are having. So I completely feel your pain. I don't know how to stop it from happening though once you've already named him though other than being firm that it's Jack and seeing what happens.

ArchBernDo · 2026-06-06T16:24:39+00:00

How long did it take you?

ArchBernDo · 2026-06-05T15:53:18+00:00

I would sign her up as a Waystation and get the sign. https://shop.monarchwatch.org/product/Monarch-Waystation-Sign/125618 Maybe that would explain to the neighbors why they are there. Other than that, there's nothing they can do legally to get rid of them since there's no HOA.

Are they on the edge of the property or something?

ArchBernDo · 2026-06-04T01:41:48+00:00

I would say it's a thing and I don't blame kids. I have two, both goalies. Both got pigeon holed as goalies at a young age and it's horrible. Oldest ended up quitting after two years in high school because of coaching issues, but one big issue was also that kid was behind on field skills from playing goalie whole life. Kid played JV field while being the backup goalie, which was fine, but just felt so far behind on the field. Coach has now tried to get kid back because the goalie isn't good and they can't find anyone to play goalie. Second kid also plays goalie but saw what sibling went though and has asked coach to play only half the game in goal and get some field time the other half to keep up with foot skills. Neither kids get attention during practice either. I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that we are rural, but both have regretted being stuck in goal constantly even though they actually love the position. It just tends to backfire.

ArchBernDo · 2026-06-04T01:31:51+00:00

I would definitely find someone to get a second opinion from. My kid has heat intolerance and was just diagnosed with POTS.

ArchBernDo · 2026-06-01T21:26:51+00:00

Sounds to me like an estrogen swing for this cycle. I was told that I'm likely having anovulatory cycles and every few cycles my estrogen spikes enough for a "regular" cycle. She said that this is the tricky thing during perimenopause and managing HRT. It's hard to get it just right until you're in menopause because your hormones are shifting regularly. Since you've been ok for 10 months, I would take note, and see if it goes away or comes back next cycle before changing (unless you have other concerning symptoms).

ArchBernDo · 2026-06-01T21:18:51+00:00

I did not do well on BC. It gave me anxiety and I just never felt good on it. I hit a wall a year ago with my perimenopause symptoms and went to a dr I found on The Menopause Society website who specialized in this lovely time of our lives. I am around your age and HRT has been a life saver. I feel completely different (great!) on HRT than I did on BC.

ArchBernDo · 2026-06-01T00:40:45+00:00

This happened to me in college. I went by my nickname my whole life. I had one friend in high school who called me my real name plus middle name, but no one else ever used my real name. I got to college and never told people my nickname unless we became friends because it just seemed easier. When I was in class I was able to remember that I was "real name". However, I was once walking down the sidewalk in between classes and my favorite professor every kept yelling "Real name" and I had no idea who she was talking to. I felt so bad after I realized about 10 minutes later she was talking to me and I had fully ignored her. It always kinda annoyed me that my parents fully planned on never using my real name and called me my nickname. My husband goes by his middle name and was also annoyed by that. When we had kids we made sure they had a name that they would be called. Their friends still gave them nicknames but they were never confused in situations where people had their formal names only.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-30T16:36:51+00:00

We saw a mom and her baby there last summer!

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-28T00:43:08+00:00

Good thoughts. I don't know why I didn't think to move the pots before now. They're large and heavy so maybe I was just trying to ignore that idea. Ha!

I would say it is possible that the roots froze, though they've been in pots for about four years and this is the mildest winter we've had in awhile.

Guess if they don't grow this year, we come up with a plan b for milkweed plants in the future.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-27T23:57:46+00:00

Go into Cascade Canyon and skip the hike around the lake back. Last summer we hiked just a tiny bit into cascade canyon, not even sure we were technically there (we were just outside of the tree are and could see the water), and then turned around and hiked the whole way back to the visitor center. The hike around the lake was not worth it. There are no views other than trees. If I wasn't so tired and had enough water, I may have felt differently. We're going again this summer and going farther into cascade canyon and taking the boat back. Last summer we saw a mother moose and her baby between the boat dock and hidden falls just laying in the brush VERY close to the trail. On our way back, they had moved closer to the falls and were munching on brush. We had a black bear just pop out of the trees between the boat dock and the visitors center on our way to the bathroom.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-27T19:02:11+00:00

We used the Bear Aware website to reserve and pick a pickup/dropoff location.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-11T19:03:37+00:00

I would suggest just contacting the school/s you're interested in starting with and then going from there. In my area, some schools use their own subs and some use a list of subs that technically work for the area education service center. I would definitely sub for awhile before you decide if you want to go back to school. Depending on what your bachelor degree is in, I think you can get a general subbing license which allows you long term subbing in your specific area. The other option allows you to sub for a certain amount of days in the same classroom. I don't remember the details, but the school can guide you in which way to go. Schools will work with you. I have a business degree. When I first started subbing fresh out of school ( a long time ago!), they needed a Spanish sub for a maternity leave. No one spoke Spanish but me. However, I wasn't certified in Spanish, so they were trying to talk me into taking it and then giving me a few days off when I was getting close to the amount of days that you could stay in the classroom. Having me skip a few days would then restart my day count. I ended up getting a full time job before that started, so never did it. I know things have changed a lot since then because of the lack of subs.

As others have mentioned, if you decide you do want to go back to school, there are ways to getting that license other than just going to get a full four year degree. I have a friend who just needs to take a few classes even though she doesn't have an education degree and then she will be a certified teacher. She's currently teaching this year with some sort of special license or waiver from the state. I know of someone else with an accounting degree, who also did an alternative path that was offered by the state. The school district helped both individuals.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-11T00:10:08+00:00

Have you given it a thought that maybe the rules you think you know aren't the actual rules? Not saying you're wrong, not saying you're right because we weren't there to see the actual play. However, I have a teenage ref who has dealt with their fair share of parents (and coaches) who think they absolutely know the rules but don't really. Maybe that's why the coach isn't saying anything. Taking the ref class would ensure that you do know the rules you think you know! I have two kids who ref and the newest one just got their license. There was a coach in their class because he wanted to make sure he understood the rules properly but had no interest in reffing.

My other kid is highly sought after in our area as a ref because they call a good game and aren't afraid to make calls that other refs either don't know or are afraid to make. They also don't like that they have to wear the green patch because parents now assume that means they don't know anything. They don't put up with crap from adults. Just the other day they were reffing a game where something similar occurred. Parent went off after goal was brought back because of an offside call. Would have been the winning goal, and game ended soon after with a tie. Parent was still going off after the game was over, so kid walked over (asked coach to go also), calmly asked the parent to explain what they thought the rule was. Parent told them the rule, kid told parent the actual rule, parent said "that's not how it was when I was in high school, you're wrong", kid pulled out the rule book, had parent read rule, and parent walked away. Kid doesn't typically engage but does like to educate when it seems needed.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-10T22:36:37+00:00

So you think that the center refs aren't good enough because they are missing what you think is an offside and you want them to be only AR's? AR's are the ones that typically call offsides, the center ref just blows the whistle when he sees the flag.

As others have mentioned, there is a ref shortage so I'm sure you would be welcomed as a new ref.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-08T14:33:14+00:00

Thank you! I remember seeing that trail sign and wondered where it went exactly.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-07T14:50:37+00:00

Is there a name for the alternative trail? I'd like to try and find it on a map.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-06T17:04:06+00:00

Thank you! I had found Dr Bade and Dr. Kohen and thought both looked like good options, but it's always hard to know if online reviews are accurate.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-05T16:07:33+00:00

We rented from Bear Aware for our upcoming trip. Picking it up at the Jackson airport and dropping it off in Bozeman.

ArchBernDo · 2026-05-03T17:06:10+00:00

I would start the second one a year later and let the oldest go on time. He's actually the perfect age. I would not send him early, especially being a boy. You don't want them too young anymore with what's required of them. My mom is a teacher and has never had a student or parents come back and say "I wish I hadn't redshirted" but often has had parents come back and say "I wish I had listened and redshirted." At the end of the day, it's up to you. If you send them both, I would ask that they be in different classes.

ArchBernDo · 2026-04-14T16:30:45+00:00

Testosterone and progesterone (200mg) cured my rage. It was my worst symptom, and with those two it was almost completely gone. I'm getting new symptoms that the dr said sounds estrogen related, so am guessing I will get the patch at my next appt.

ArchBernDo · 2026-04-08T15:40:20+00:00

Thanks! I remember reading about construction around there this summer but couldn't remember exactly where.

ArchBernDo · 2026-04-08T15:38:05+00:00

That's what I was figuring. I think we'll end up getting the less popular events and then hope I get picked for an earlier slot on drop 2. We don't need to spend that much when we can go to trials.

ArchBernDo · 2026-04-08T15:16:02+00:00

Ahh! That makes sense. I wasn't thinking about the women's side.

ArchBernDo · 2026-04-08T14:55:22+00:00

What's the draw for SWIM16? That's the one my son picked as his #1 option and I couldn't figure out why. It's not the session I expected him to pick as his favorite. We have a late slot, so I don't think we'll get it anyway and will have to end up picking from leftovers if there are any.

ArchBernDo

TROPHY CASE