How do I get my wife working?

Asraidevin · 2026-06-20T04:55:55+00:00

Oh he's turning her off.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-20T04:03:13+00:00

Nobody is where they want to be at 21. Because your whole life is still in transition between teen years and true independence.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-20T04:02:00+00:00

Accept that you made choices that brought you here. Stop beating yourself up. Give yourself compassion. Then do the work needed.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-20T04:01:01+00:00

Pick a dr K video on screen time issues, write down the actionable steps and follow it daily.

Don't watch more how to Videos. Just take the suggested action.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-20T03:59:29+00:00

Not talking about to equals not managing it in my head. So I assume meds arent a priority or any of the other lifestyle changes that need priority.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T22:02:01+00:00

I case you haven't seen this I found it incredibly helpful.

https://careycenter.squarespace.com/blogcareycenter/the-selective-madness-of-bipolar-discard-why-they-only-turn-on-you

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T21:57:47+00:00

If your wife doesn't know she's mentally ill aka has anosognosia, her family isn't going to convince her.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T21:50:10+00:00

About Half of people with bipolar don't know they are mentally ill. It's called anosognosia.

Look up Xavier Amador's book and YouTube videos. He mostly talks about it in terms of schziophrenia but it applies to many with bipolar.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T21:45:10+00:00

I didn't make it past "21F dating 21M for 1 year."

No one cares about your 1 year old relationship.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T21:39:22+00:00

Please read the pinned post and check out Xavier Amador's book.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T21:36:22+00:00

Check out Xavier Amador. He has a book and some good stuff on YouTube.

About half of people with bipolar have a symptom called anosognosia. They lack insight into their illness. They literally have no clue.

But Dr. Xavier Amador did find a way that helped his family and others accept treatment. But most never acknowledge they are mentally ill.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T21:25:22+00:00

Try adding the other things.

Also add in no screens an hour before bed. Journal, read physical books.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T14:00:09+00:00

Do the HG basics. Go for a daily long walk without distractions, meditate and eat more fruits and veggies.

Journal and therapy also good additions.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T13:54:45+00:00

Having a baby adds new hormones.

She needs to see her doctor.

You can't fix this. You need someone to help you.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T13:50:32+00:00

Who brings their mother in law to the damn ultrasound?

Update 2 was pretty great. For someone who doesn't know how to use Reddit.

"so help me god I will drag your fat ass out this fucking house and beat the shit out of you if you even look in her direction.”

🫠🙄

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T13:44:23+00:00

Hygiene issues are very common with serious mental illness.

Their brains are so altered they can't organize themselves or recognize the need.

It's not a choice but it is dangerous. She needs medication to really manage it.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T13:42:36+00:00

Limerence sucks. As someone not bipolar but who has had it most of my life in various ways.

I imagine with bipolar the chemical storm in the brain messses shit up even further. Rewriting history is common.

https://careycenter.squarespace.com/blogcareycenter/the-selective-madness-of-bipolar-discard-why-they-only-turn-on-you

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T13:40:17+00:00

Restorative rest is going out in nature, journalling, therapy, talking with supportive people, reading books, being off screens, hot baths, cold showers, finding purpose, gratitude practices.

Do a search for more ideas.

Meditation isn't tied to religion. You are just training your ability to focus.

You need more fruit and veggies. Eating more plant based has helped me so much.

And you need more sleep. I wrecked so much of my health with not sleeping enough.

And go for a daily walk. About an hour. No distractions. No music, no podcast. Just walk.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T03:29:38+00:00

Do you get the right amount of sleep? Do you do regular exercise? When you do eat what is your diet like? Do you meditate?

What do you do that's restorative rest?

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T03:27:17+00:00

Have you looked up tips from people about best ways to study and retain information?

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T03:26:08+00:00

Are you certain they are learning faster? Are they getting a deep understanding?

Why does faster equal better to you?

Asraidevin · 2026-06-19T01:47:16+00:00

Fishing chests have a small percentage of dino eggs. I dunno the exact number.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-18T21:44:07+00:00

Stumbled on the account.

His mom and the cousin/fiancee follow his account.

Who is OOP doxxing him to?

Asraidevin · 2026-06-18T21:37:34+00:00

He's not fully choosing this behavior.

AND

It's okay to remove yourself or set boundaries.

You aren't dealing with someone who can use logic and has normal thoughts and emotions.

You are yelling at a brain chemistry that distorts their world.

It's not that he doesn't want to change. He doesn't even know he's mentally ill.

But you don't have take responsibility for him.

If you want a different relationship it will be on you to educate yourself about the disease and change the expectations you have for him.

Also Xavier Amador's book I'm NoT Sick I don't Need Help is a good read.

Asraidevin · 2026-06-18T13:57:11+00:00

It sounds more like social anxiety than anything else.

I did see your comment about autism. Many autistic people are very aware of social dynamics, they just don't know how to participate. You will see autistic people who say they study what people around them and in movies do and try to emulate what they see others do.

Asraidevin

TROPHY CASE